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It’s Christmas Here In Nipple Ring Land! December 9, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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I haven’t managed to do much decorating in my house, but I have decorated the blog for Christmas. Snow and trees…enjoy! I am going to leave this up for the rest of December and will have something new in 2011.

* * * * *

There is still time to enter my limerick contest to win a Humbler! Details can be found in this post. Just write a five line limerick about the Humbler or chastity in general and you will entered to win. Limericks must be submitted by 6 am EST on Saturday, December 11th. The winner will be announced that day. Come on, everyone, here’s your chance to have some fun and maybe have a new, custom-crafted mahogany Humbler waiting for you in your Christmas stocking.

* * * * *

Ab’s Jailbird is still for sale as noted in this post. I’ve gotten a few inquiries but no serious offers. If you are outside of the US and are interested, please contact me and we can work out something related to shipping. A guess-timate to ship to Canada is ~$20 via UPS and ~$12 via USPS (delivery in 6-10 days). I haven’t investigated other countries.

* * * * *

Have a great Thursday, everyone. Let me know what you think of the Christmas theme!

Dev

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Letter to the Editor November 6, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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7 comments

To the Editor:

I report herein an interesting case study of non-pharmacologic treatment of erectile dysfunction in an otherwise healthy 57 year old man.

The patient was referred to me by his primary care provider for evaluation and treatment of erectile dysfunction (ED). The PCP had prescribed 50 mg of sildenafil citrate (Viagra) and while it was effective, the patient did not like the side effects (dizziness, flushing, headache). At a lower dose of 25 mg the patient still complained of side effects and had poorer quality erections. He was then referred to me for evaluation.

Past medical history was unremarkable except for a varicocelectomy at age 23. The patient subsequently fathered two children whilst in his thirties. The patient denied any ongoing medical problems including diabetes, hypertension, respiratory difficulties or neurologic changes. The patient was not taking any prescribed medications. OTC he takes omeprazole (Prilosec) and an occasional acetaminophen for headache. He denies use of recreational drugs. He does not smoke. He admits to social alcohol consumption. Physical examination was grossly normal.

Sexual history: patient is in a longstanding and loving marriage of 32 years. His wife is healthy. They have sex one to two times per week, usually initiated by the patient. Patient stated that he did not always achieve a full erection which seemed to disappoint and, at times, displease his wife. Upon further questioning, patient admitted to daily masturbatory activity, usually in private. Typically, he masturbated to orgasm using only his hand.

Based on my evaluation, I concluded that his regular masturbatory habit was likely interfering with his erections when he desired to have sex with his wife. Given that he had negative sequelae with sildenafil citrate, I doubted that a trial of tadalafil (Cialis) would be any more effective or acceptable to the patient. Thus I suggested a period of abstinence from self-stimulation and orgasm. I explained to the patient that he did not need to abstain from sexual activity, only from daily masturbation and orgasm, either alone or with his wife. I further explained that this abstinence could be accomplished voluntarily although some men opted to use a mechanical device to prevent them from touching their genitals and achieving erection and orgasm. Lastly, I explained that the process might require several weeks to evaluate its success as opposed to minutes when using a phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitor. The patient verbalized understanding and agreed to a trial. Follow-up was scheduled for three months.

Upon his return to my office, the patient informed me that he had, in fact, purchased a commercially made “chastity device” (CB-6000s, manufactured by A.L. Enterprises, Inc., Price, Utah). He subsequently purchased a second device (the “Jailbird,” manufactured by Mature Metal, Midland, Texas) because his wife found the polycarbonate of the CB esthetically displeasing. His initial period of abstinence from orgasm was 60 days. Note that I did not suggest this time interval. This was a decision made by the patient and his wife.

Upon release from the device, the patient was able to achieve an erection and orgasm although he rated the quality of the erection as “average” and the intensity of the orgasm as “mediocre.” He attributed this to personal stress as well as unrealistic expectations from both his wife and himself as to what they would experience after such a lengthy period of denial. After a 24 hour period of release he returned to wearing the metal device on a continuous basis.

After a 20 day period of abstinence from orgasm the patient was awakened from his sleep by his wife who was stimulating his genitals with her hand. He noted at this time he was wearing a locked cock ring which provided total access to his penis. As an aside, he noted that his wife had become quite enamored of his chaste state and had requested that he wear a device on his genitalia at all times except when she determined otherwise. He had agreed to this. It was at this time that the purchase of the cock ring, also manufactured by Mature Metal, was made.

On the morning in question, the patient was successfully stimulated to orgasm by his wife, although they used a technique colloquially known as a “ruined orgasm.” This was a mutual decision as his wife was menstruating and unable to have intercourse. A ruined orgasm, for those not familiar with the term, is one in which the man ejaculates but does not have the explosive release and subsequent sexual satisfaction as with a traditional orgasm. Still, the patient reported that the experience was quite pleasurable and he would be interested in repeating it. More importantly, he reported that the quality of his erection was “excellent.” He estimated his penis to be 5.5″ in length and 1.5″ in diameter. He was able to maintain his erection through his entire time of stimulation and beyond. He did note that the cock ring might have some effect on his erectile quality and wondered if he would be able to wear it during intercourse without injuring his wife. I demurred to answer that question.

In addition to being able to achieve and maintain an erection, the patient noted that overall, the quality of his sex life had improved dramatically during the three month trial. He reported increased sexual activity, greater intimacy, improved communication, and in general, greater feelings of affection, tenderness, and closeness with his wife. He reports that she is also experiencing these same feelings and seems pleased with their experience with abstinence and denial. The patient and his wife have voluntarily agreed to continue with a “chaste lifestyle” (his term) for the indefinite and foreseeable future.

To conclude, in healthy men with no organic basis for ED, I suggest abstinence and orgasm denial, collectively known as “male chastity,” as an effective and novel intervention. Further research is warranted to confirm or refute the findings of this single case study.

Yours most sincerely,

Victor Y. E. Rection, MD
Saratoga Springs, NY

Update on Mature Metal Devices October 29, 2010

Posted by Dev in Devices, Musings.
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4 comments

I can spill the beans now because Ab’s new devices arrived yesterday. I had been keeping it a secret and didn’t want to spoil the surprise by writing about them here until he had them in hand. I am including some pictures that might be considered not safe for work, so please continue reading, after the jump…

(more…)

The Weekend October 18, 2010

Posted by Dev in Devices, Musings.
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6 comments

I suspect many are waiting with bated breath to hear how our big release weekend went. Well, I could say that we had wild sex for 48 hours straight and we were peeling the paint off the walls in the process.

But if I said that, I’d be lying and I don’t want to lie to my friends.

The truth is, things didn’t go quite the way I expected.

I think we had a mix of real-life interfering with our plans plus some unrealistic expectations on my part. Real-life included Ab being very stressed about work, having to work both Saturday and Sunday, and on top of all that, he was fighting a cold. My expectations were that we would have unending wild sex with 100% attention paid to me, Queen of the household.

Sounds like a setup for disaster, doesn’t it? Fortunately, things weren’t that bad.

The Jailbird did come off, as scheduled, at 6 pm on Friday evening. The evening then proceeded as usual—dinner, conversation, me fooling around on the computer. Ab went to bed early because he was exhausted. He immediately went sound to sleep and didn’t budge when I came to bed about an hour later. He did wake up around 2:30 am, we had rather average, run-of-the-mill sex (with an orgasm for him, yes) after which he went right back to sleep. No orgasm for me and the experience left me feeling a little confused and frustrated. As I lay awake thinking about it, I reflected on “old” sex (the pre-chastity kind) and “new” sex (when he’s wearing a device). Our experience at 2:30 am was definitely of the old sex variety and I wasn’t too happy about that.

Saturday he worked all day long and got home around 4:30 pm. I was annoyed and he knew it. Yes, I was feeling sorry for myself and being a pill about it—I’ll own my bad mood. Probably I was being a little ridiculous, too—I knew he had to work. This wasn’t a big surprise. It was just that I was expecting something—something other than what I was getting. See “unrealistic expectations” above.

At some point before dinner, Ab made the sort of off-hand suggestion that perhaps he should just put the Jailbird back on. It would relieve the performance pressure, he said, plus he really wasn’t in the mood for sex, given that he was tired, stressed, and not feeling great, what with all the sneezing and so on.

I didn’t need to be asked twice. I whisked into the bathroom, grabbed the Jailbird and within two minutes that sucker was back on Ab’s cock, right where it belonged. As I clicked the lock I felt safe. Secure. Comfortable.

I felt in charge.

My bad mood immediately evaporated and we had a very pleasant evening, complete with watching a movie (Duck Soup, with the Marx Brothers) followed by wild “new” sex wherein I got vibrated to four orgasms (!) and Ab made all those wonderful groans of frustration that I have come to love.

Who is this dominant woman? Is this really me? I haven’t discussed the whole dominant/submissive thing here in the blog (although Ab and I have talked about it) because I didn’t think that was part of our dynamic. But now I am beginning to wonder.

Sunday he had to work again but managed to get home by about 1:30. He watched some football, we took a nap, we had a nice dinner and ended up going to bed early-ish, anticipating another busy week. I gave him a little “caged in metal” ball massage, we spooned in the night (I love the feel of the cage against my ass) but that was about it. Still, it was enough.

And so that’s where we are. The JB is on and locked. For how long—I have no idea. I haven’t figured that part out yet. I do think we had been building to this point for many weeks and setting ourselves up to expect too much. I think that is something I need to re-think as we play the game. I also need to get a more accurate understanding from Ab about what he thinks and expects from his own orgasm so I can put my thinking more in line with his. I do think we had some mixed signals crossing the wires and I fully accept my part of the blame for that.

I do appreciate the many supportive comments I have gotten from friends, which have been very helpful in keeping me from having a giant brain explosion this weekend. Thanks, everyone! And this bit of very wise advice from Thumper: “Playing around with orgasm control can be really f’ing hard.” Ain’t it the truth!

More later…

T-10 Hours and Counting? October 8, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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Not quite. As they say at Mission Control, “Liftoff has been delayed.”

Regular readers will know that today was supposed to be the big unlock day. However, plans have changed.

We were hoping for a quiet, romantic weekend together. Mid-week, I could see the handwriting on the wall that this might not be the case. It started with my mom who asked if we could do some entertaining—she has a house guest and she wanted us to help with driving and so on, plus go to the movies and maybe have them both over for lunch on Sunday. Next, we got an email that our daughter was coming home from college for the weekend; somehow in the midst of everything, I forgot that it’s a 3-day weekend with Columbus Day on Monday. Then, because good things come in threes, I got my period. Sigh.

I had suggested to Ab on Wednesday night that I might consider an extra week of being locked. This idea was not received graciously or happily. I thought I was trying to push the limits a little bit—after all, I’m the keyholder and I’m in charge, right?—but I realize in retrospect, I was probably being pre-period bitchy. (Ab, honey, I’m sorry for that. I’ll try to do better next time.)

During the day Thursday I sent him a text, indicating that I would stick to the original plan: unlocked on Friday at 6 pm. We’d make do with my period and the entertaining.

Thursday evening, at our very late dinner, Ab suggested that maybe waiting a week was a good idea. He agreed that having our daughter home can put a damper on the sexual adventurousness in the house. Since we did want this to be a weekend that was all about us, let’s wait until we could be alone.

Thus we are back to T-177.5 hours and counting…

* * * * *

Morning ball massages are becoming wonderful, wonderful things that Ab and I both love and look forward to. The one the other day, when he had his little mini-orgasm (or whatever it was) is the exception, not the rule. The more usual routine is soft and quiet and very relaxing.

He sends me some sort of psychic signal that he’s ready, or it’s time, or would I consider indulging him? I am not sure how I get the message, because it’s not verbal, but I definitely pick up on it. This morning it was at 3:30 am, a little earlier than usual. He partially turns towards me to give me easy access to his package (and it really is a package, now!). The Jailbird is wonderful because I can cup everything in my hand. The metal is so much smoother than the plastic and no pokey pegs to contend with. Then I just massage. This morning, he didn’t get hard—not even a little bit. I could feel Ab relaxing and enjoying having his cock—our cock—lovingly attended to. He drifted off to sleep without any suckling, which was fine with me because I’ve got the breast tenderness-bloaty thing going on. I went back to sleep too and had a really wonderful dream about…well, let’s just say, did anyone know that Hugh Jackman is making a pirate movie? And he likes to have sex with random women who happen to be wandering on the set? 😉

Peeing Forward October 6, 2010

Posted by Dev in Devices, Musings.
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Ab asked me to post about this, which is probably the closest he’ll ever get to writing a blog entry himself. Just call me Devoted Lover, scribe. 🙂

Ab has come to realize that one  of the things he doesn’t like about being locked is having to pee sitting down. Although it didn’t bother him at first—and he used the extra minutes to play a few rounds of Angry Birds—there are moments where he doesn’t want to spend the extra time. (Welcome to my world, sweetheart.) On top of that, he has discovered that his body equates “sitting” with “defecation” so even if he doesn’t have a BM, his body puts him through a brief contractile process until it realizes that there is nothing there to expel. (Sorry if this is TMI for anyone, but Ab was dictating.)

On top of that, as he says, we’re all trained to pee a certain way. They call it toilet training for a reason and boys are trained to pee standing up and girls sitting down. He pointed out to me that when we are somewhere without a toilet—hiking in the woods, say—and I get the urge to go, I always find a log or something that I can squat on. “True,” I said, “but that’s because if I pee standing up, it splashes all over my leg. Not so good for the rest of the hike.” He noted that he has never seen me pee standing up, which may be true. I realized that I will urinate while standing in the shower, but that’s the only place.

Anyway, enough about me. Back to Ab. He’s decided that he wanted to figure out a way to “pee forward” as he calls it, not downward, from the sitting position.

(As an aside, this seems to be an interesting bit of evidence that he is not a true submissive, since submissives seem to accept their lot in life as sitting-pee-ers once they become chaste.)

He tells me that as he is pondering this issue, he has a very distant memory of his father kneeling down in front of the toilet to pee. Not a two kneed kneel, just one knee—almost like genuflecting. (Please. Hold the Catholic jokes.) Ab has no idea when this was or how old he was. I suspect it was his father teaching him how to urinate…or maybe he was teaching Ab’s younger brother and Ab happened to be in the bathroom. (“Hey everyone! Let’s all pile in and have a party!”) Ab thought that might be true or perhaps his father was just being fastidious—he was the one who cleaned the toilets after all. Why make more work for yourself if you can avoid it?

So, Ab tried peeing while kneeling and…it worked! It worked well enough that he had his peeing forward sensation, didn’t make a mess, and didn’t take as long as sitting down. Plus he wasn’t distracted by Angry Birds.

Will this become a regular habit? Certainly not in a public restroom and it wouldn’t work at a urinal—well, maybe a urinal in the boy’s room at an elementary school but why an adult male would be peeing on his knees in a kid’s bathroom in a school is probably a can of worms we don’t want to open. 😉 But at home and at work (which is essentially a private bathroom)—this may become a feasible option for peeing forward.

We’ll keep you posted.

* * * * *

Jailbird Update: The Jailbird continues to be comfortable and fits well. He tried a little silicone lube around the ring yesterday and found that it stung! Baby powder continues to be his product of choice to prevent chafing and irritation and it works well. For some reason, the whole apparatus twists to the right, so the lock, instead of being upright at 12 o’clock is off to the side at 2 o’clock. We have no idea why. Ab commented that he had a varicocelectomy on the right side, but that was a million years ago and I don’t think it could possibly have that long-lasting an effect. But except for that little oddity, the JB seems to be the ideal device, at least for the moment.

* * * * *

Update #2: As I was looking for the graphic for this post, I came across a couple of different blogs that were discussing the idea of a gender-normative or gender-blind society. Why do we make the distinction between men and women everywhere, especially when we are becoming more aware of the gender-fluid people who live among us? A major thought is to establish all public restrooms as gender-free. Interesting stuff and something for me to think about.

I also saw comments related to the fact that we “train” boys to pee standing up as a way to reinforce the patriarchy. It separates boys from girls and implies that boys are better because standing is a more powerful position than sitting. There is no physiological reason why a boy or man needs to urinate from an upright position.

Again, I probably can see the logic in this and not disagree entirely. That said, Ab has been peeing standing up for 56 of his 57 years (he spent one year in diapers, I am sure) and so I am not going to insist on re-training him at this stage of the game, even if he is wearing a chastity device. “Old habits die hard,” as they say.

“Ruined” Orgasm? October 5, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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I got home from work last night and asked Ab to change the key from the left side to the right (again). The left nipple has always been the more tender one so the key just doesn’t want to stay there long-term.

“I guess we gave each other quite a workout this morning,” Ab said, as he unhooked the clasp.

“Oh?” I said, quirking an eyebrow.

“I was a little sore all day,” he answered, “especially on the left side.”

“So tell me…what exactly was that little squirt of yours? What was going on?”

He shrugged.

“I mean, was that semen? Or pre-come? Or something else?”

“I don’t know…it was just as dark on my side of the bed as it was on yours.”

“Well, what did it feel like?” I asked.

He shrugged again. “It felt like an orgasm,” he said. “Or at least, it felt like ejaculation. Ejaculation without a hard on? Is that an orgasm?”

“I don’t know,” I answered. “Was it one of those ruined orgasms I keep reading about?”

He shook his head. “From where I sit, no orgasm is ever ruined.”

And that’s the conundrum for us. We really don’t get this ruined orgasm thing.

Sarah Jameson writes about it in her book and then in her newsletter a week or two ago, she wrote about a really spectacular ruined orgasm that John had on a Wednesday evening. I read about it, still confused and asked one of my email correspondents if he could offer any insight. He wrote:

It was ruined not because it wasn’t during intercourse but rather because she stopped stimulating him before he actually ‘came’ or had his orgasm. It is hard to explain. Have you ever driven down a ‘weee’ road? You know the one where your stomach king of goes weightless as you crest the little hill. It is kind of like you gather speed toward the hill and just before the crest you let off the gas. The momentum of the car still carries you over the hill but you don’t get the ‘weee’ part. A ruined orgasm is a little like that. Your body still carries you to the point of ejaculation but there is no satisfaction. At all. You can see it. You can feel it spasm. There is just no pleasure. It will leave one very frustrated. And extremely horny still. At this point most men wouldn’t be able to have an orgasm even if they wanted to. The body is spent but the emotion and desire is still there.

So would I desire this? Yes, absolutely. Why? I have no idea. We have done this in the past (way past) a little but my memory of the feeling afterward isn’t very clear.

I read this to Ab and asked his opinion. He said the description and so on was very clear and made sense, but he didn’t think this had ever happened to him. It certainly was not something that was in my mind that we had ever done together.

I wonder if, for non-chastity folks, are ruined orgasms part of their play? Somehow it’s something that Ab and I have been missing all these years? Or is it really an experience that is more-or-less exclusive to the chastity life? Part of the whole tease and denial element of the game?

Comments are welcome. And we still don’t know if the whatever-that-happened yesterday was a ruined orgasm. 🙂

* * * * *

Jailbird Update: As regular readers will know, the JB got locked on (requiring two people and four hands) on Thursday evening. Ab has been wearing it continuously since then…no cleaning breaks, size adjustment breaks or anything else. He says it is quite comfortable. Yesterday his balls were sore but I think that was more an outcome of our vigorous workout at 5 am versus a size or fitting issue. He has commented that the snug fit offsets the extra weight so that has not been a problem (which it was in the big honking Birdcage).

We have a second ring now—1 5/8″ which would be 1/8″ smaller than the one he is in now. Ab looked skeptical and I said that we don’t need to change right now—if he ever needs to change, actually. We’ll see where we’re at on Sunday night.

All in all, I can say that the Jailbird seems to be a very good investment and I think we estimated correctly on the size.

It’s Here and It’s Locked On! October 1, 2010

Posted by Dev in Devices, Musings.
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10 comments

The Jailbird is here, on, locked, and oh man, is it a thing of beauty!

It arrived yesterday and Ab ramped up the excitement by sending me a picture of the box in the mailbox. Thursday is one of my late nights to work and last night I was there right up to the last minute. Some evenings I might be able to leave an hour or so early but naturally, when I am excited to get home, things keep popping up at the last minute, delaying my departure. Last night was one of those nights.

Ab was waiting for me on the steps. He was, clearly, as excited as me but unlike when the Birdcage arrived, which he had opened and put on before I got home, this time he waited.

The Jailbird was packed in a little faux-suede pouch with “MM” handwritten on the front. Mature Metal is clearly a one-person business but I like that. No more mass-produced chastity devices for us! We’ve gone from a cheap, off the rack suit to a custom made bespoke tuxedo. My husband deserves the best. 😉

When we took the Jailbird out my first thought was, “This thing is small.” It’s very small. I mean, scarily small. I know my husband’s cock isn’t porn-star size, but I never thought it was particularly petite, either. I had ordered small because I wanted snug but looking at the cage, I had a moment of panic. Had I gone overboard in the sizing down department? I had used the measurements of the CB-6000s and Mr. MM’s advice on what size to select. Here’s a refresher for what we chose:

CB: Length: 2 1/2″; inside diameter: 1 3/8″; ring: 1 3/4″; gap: 1/4″ (smallest spacer)

Jailbird: Length: 2″; inside diameter: 1 1/4″; ring: 1 3/4″; gap: 1/4″

Well, no going back. This is what we had and if it was too small, we’d deal with that problem later. Right now was the moment so see if we could get the damn thing on.

Ab started slow. First the ring, which is a solid metal ring. It’s supposedly oval but as others have noted, it’s the roundest oval I’ve seen in a while. Ab was used to a solid ring like this as it was the same on the Birdcage (the CB doesn’t have a solid ring, as most people here probably know). He tugged and pulled, getting his balls in first, then poking his cock through. Success! The ring seemed to fit properly.

Now the cage. He started to fiddle but realized quickly he needed some lubricant—body lotion is his moisturizer of choice. He rubbed some on then started to slide the cage on again.

Observant readers will realize, of course, that all this manipulating and fiddling was causing his cock to have a natural reaction which wasn’t helping the size issue. LOL. As Lucy Fairbourne pointed out in her keyholder book, if a man gets off on the idea of being locked up, then the actual act of being locked up is going to be stimulating. Makes sense, right? Ab is no exception.

We paused, waited a minute, then slid and wiggled some more. Eventually, he got the cage on completely on and started to work to close the gap, getting the pin from the ring through the tube on the cage. Gentle push, gentle push—I didn’t want to pinch his skin. Finally, we had the holes lined up. Now to put in the lock.

At this moment, we realized we were at a really bad angle relative to each other, plus I was having a hard time seeing anything. I needed to sit to be at eye level to his cock, plus I needed a better light. We moved to the table, took a deep breath and got back to work.

The Masterlock (from the CB-6000s) is a very tight fit. We wiggled it in and snapped it shut, but Ab was worried that there wasn’t enough play. So we took that off and went with the other lock we have, the fairly cheap looking WolfDog. The shackle on that one is a bit thinner (probably a millimeter). Now I learn from the Chastity Forums that the lock is what keeps the device from rotating around. Ah, okay. We may be switching back to the Masterlock this evening.

Finally, it’s on, it’s locked, and I stepped back to admire my well-dressed husband—or should I say, my well-dressed cock? Either way, it looked great. His balls were sort of pillowing up on the side and the Jailbird was nestled in the middle, looking like a piece of fine jewelry on display just for me. Gorgeous!

And I am so glad he’s back in metal. It sends a very Zen message: “I wear metal and I’m man enough to let my wife lock me up.” It really contradicts that sissy-femmy stuff you hear so much about.

Twelve hours later, he tells me he’s a little sore in a few new places but overall, it’s comfortable and feels good. It’s about 3 oz heavier than the CB, but because it’s snug and tight, that seems to balance out the weight.

I can’t wait to get home and see it again!

* * * * *

Last night, Ab confessed to me that he broke the no touching rule while he was out of the device yesterday. He told me that he looked at some porn and masturbated a little during his lunch break, but no orgasm.

“How was your erection?” I asked.

“Not great,” he admitted. I wondered if that was his baby boomer guilt kicking in. Like all of us who grew up learning how to “play well with others,” Ab has one of those consciences that makes him atone for his sins, even when he hasn’t done anything wrong! I can sympathize. I am the same way.

This was a useful learning experience. I told him I trusted him, I expected a certain type of behavior and I got…a human response. I mean, this was the man who prior to August 16th was masturbating daily. I really expected him to stop completely—this soon? I think that will take a while. His various devices have been adequate deterrents but clearly the temptation to play when he had the opportunity overruled his mental honor system. Now I know that I need to be vigilant and keep him locked, 24/7.

He has 173 hours until his scheduled release on October 8th. My plan is to keep him locked from now ’til then. The JB will only come off if something needs adjustment or fixing related to the new device. That’s it.

Have I mentioned lately how much fun this all is? More later…

Could It Be…Maybe? September 29, 2010

Posted by Dev in Devices, Musings.
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5 comments

I had an orgasm this morning that was stimulated by my husband’s fingers and tongue. At first I wasn’t completely sure but after relaxing and enjoying the warm tingly afterglow I realized that yes, this was the real thing. As a faking orgasm addict in recovery, my orgasm sensitivity meter is a little out of whack, but I am working on re-calibrating it. This morning gave me a chance to test it out.

As I have mentioned previously, I have a very bad habit of faking orgasms. This faking behavior was part of the reason I got so hooked on my vibrators—I know I will come when Ab uses one of those so I have no need to fake or pretend.

Fingers and tongue are another matter, though.

I know that women take a long time to build to climax. Whether I take longer than most women or I am average, I don’t know. I just know that at times it can seem like a long time to me. Sometimes I would become impatient or concerned that my husband was getting bored or tired. That would trigger the faking response. Using the vibrator effectively eliminated that problem. But then I had another crutch.

One of the great things about our chastity game is now the pleasure is on me—Ab is not going to have an orgasm no matter how much he wants or desires it. I can make him moan and groan and feel all kinds of bottled up desire (he tells me it feels like a champagne bottle that is about to pop, but someone forgot to remove the wire over the cork). Meanwhile, that bottled up energy thrums out of his fingers, his mouth, his body—and gets poured all over me. So nice…

He woke me up this morning, massaging my back. It was a fortuitous moment because I was having a really bad dream so I was happy to be pleasurably brought to consciousness. I let him massage me for awhile, then turned over. I reached for his cock, he reached for my clit. We continued stroking…pleasuring.

I gave myself into the sensations. I wanted to feel him stimulate me. My hips began to buck, the first involuntary reaction. He fingered harder. I almost said, “Get the vibrator,” but I didn’t. I wanted to see how far we could make it without mechanical stimulation.

A few more minutes passed. He pulled away, turned on his side and took my breast into his mouth (his post-stimulation relaxation mode). “No,” I said, “I need more.” He shifted in the bed and put his mouth on my pussy. My hips raised again, seeking that stimulation. His tongue is stronger than his fingers.

In this position (sort of a quasi-69 with Ab on his knees), his balls and cock hang down nicely and are very accessible and easy to massage. Easier than in the other position, actually. I stroke which in turn excites him—now the energy travels out of his body through his tongue and my clit is the happy recipient.

The urge to ask for the vibrator was gone. That was a very good sign. My hips thrust. I let the feelings engulf me. I could feel the pulsing in my chest. I edged…I tipped…I came! Yes!

On the Dev Orgasm-o-Meter, a vibrator orgasm can routinely be a 7 or 8. This was probably a 4. But believe me, at 5 am on a Wednesday morning, halfway through the workweek and ready to face another busy day, a level 4 orgasm feels pretty damn good. I’m not complaining.

And for me, this was a real woman orgasm. This is one of the reasons I don’t read het erotica anymore. The women’s sexual responses are always so freaking fake. They all drop like leaky faucets (I don’t drip). They can stimulate themselves by lightly touching their pussy, even if they are wearing layers of clothes (I need direct clitoral stimulation). They come quickly (for me, see above). Their orgasms are always an 11 on a 10 point scale (mine rarely are). Yes, I know these are supposed to be fantasy, designed to titillate, but I eventually realized they left me flat. That’s when I switched over to the guys (male/male) for my pleasure reading.

At some point during our lovemaking, I whispered my fantasy to Ab:

“I want you to get me excited,” I said. “I want to be hot and ready. Then, I’ll unlock you. I’ll take your cock cage off. Your cock will be hard and strong. You’ll fuck me. Fuck me until I have an orgasm. Then we’ll stop and I’ll immediately lock you back up.” I paused. “And as I click the lock, you’ll say thank you.”

I could hear a hitch in Ab’s throat. I knew he thought it was hot, too. “I don’t think that’s possible,” he said, his voice low and rough.

“What? The making me come with your cock? Or you not coming at all?”

“Me…me not coming.”

“But you could make me come with your cock?”

He gave me a look. It’s never happened. Can we make it happen? If we work enough on the pleasure and giving all that pleasure to me?

Something delicious to think about, that’s for sure. 🙂

* * * * *

Jailbird update: I received an email from Mr. Mature Metal that the Jailbird went out in yesterday’s mail. Yippee! Depending on how speedy the Pony Express is between Texas and New England, I should definitely have it by Friday, Thursday if we’re lucky. I’ll keep everyone posted. In anticipation of its arrival, I texted Ab to shave his pubes nice and smooth because I don’t want any stray hair in there when that lovely metal cage gets locked on. He happily complied.

* * * * *

Undies update: I ordered a bunch of cotton thongs for Ab, and two made of knit “mansilk.” The cotton ones are all blending together in his mind, to be honest, so it is hard to give individual reviews. They are all comfortable and provide good support, but the waistbands remind him of underwear (remember, this is the man who has been underwear free for many years). That makes them feel slightly restricting and confining.

The mansilk thongs, on the other hand, are a huge hit. Low rise, no waistband, and the material feels silky and smooth against his skin (his fetish—silky). The knit silk, however, provides good support so there isn’t a trade-off in the silk vs. cotton department. Even though they have to be handwashed, that seems to be a tiny minor drawback given that these rate high on both the sexy and comfort scales.

Overall: A. Ordered from: His Room. I ordered the very conservative black and indigo; since they are such a hit, I think I am going to let myself go and order a few more pairs in eggplant, pewter, and port. Cost: $16. Free shipping on orders over $40. Disclaimer: I have no interest in or connection to this company. I discovered it through Google.

Quotes from Ab: VII September 16, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings, Quotes from Ab.
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“I am completely addicted to…Angry Birds.” LOL

Angry Birds, for those who don’t know, is a silly game that you can play on your iPhone or iPad. It has an addicting quality. The only thing that keeps me from being completely hooked is that I am not very good at it. Ab, on the hand, really gets it and has a lot of fun playing it. I bring it up here because he tells me that now that he has to pee sitting down, it gives him an extra minute or two in the bathroom and he uses that time to play Angry Birds. Ai yi yi!

One thing he has barely commented on and never complained about is the fact that he is no longer a “stand up to urinate” kind of guy. This has hardly registered on his chastity radar.  It might be because at his work there is only one bathroom and it doesn’t have a urinal. Who knows? I commented that I know men who work on their feet all day and they like to sit, just to give themselves a two minute break. When I said this, Ab just looked at me and said, “Really?” like it was a whole new idea. And yes, he is on his feet most of the day. I’m surprised he never figured this out before!

* * * * *

Last night turned out to be a very good night. Clearly, trading sexy emails all day is a good strategy to ensure a man is all hot and bothered when he gets home. 🙂 That, and the promise of getting to wear sexy clothes in the evening…

I make his clothes sound so risqué, but they really aren’t. We’re talking some black silk pants and a velvet thong. The thing is, Ab really gets off on the feel of silky and velvety fabrics against his skin. Here I am, a woman, and I could care less about silky, sexy fabrics. (Actually, I could care less about clothes, period, as my naturism post documents.) But he enjoys them and looks good in them so if that’s what turns him on, fine with me! He wore them for dinner which again, doesn’t sound all that out there but as I looked at him I realized that 99% of our sex play has been confined to the bedroom for the past 15 or 20 years. That’s what happens when you have a small house and children. Now that our daughter is gone, we can suddenly act like a pair of wild and crazy kids for the first time in ages. I am trying to figure out if my subconscious brain knew this when I came up with the idea of chastity on the eve of our daughter’s depature?

I did email Ab a PDF of a book that includes a character with a serious clothing fetish (Secrets, Skins and Leather by Sean Michael, if anyone is curious.) This goes along with my new realization that if I share porn, er, I mean stories with him, that might stoke his fire a little bit, too.

When he was leaving this morning I asked if we’d be sending hot emails again today and he gave me a funny smile and said, “Maybe we should focus on getting at least a little bit of work done.” Yeah, he’s probably right.

The other thing from last night…the last little bit of anger from Sunday seems to be completely past. He apologized about getting angry about the Jailbird and said he was glad I had ordered it. He asked what size I got. He thought that the shorter, narrower cage was a good choice. He did seem a little anxious about the 1/4″ spacer (as opposed to 3/8″) but I told him that could be adjusted if need be. Now we are both eager for it to arrive—unfortunately, Mature Metal says two to three weeks delivery time and it hasn’t even been a week. Sigh… I just need to be patient (not my strong suit, which I suspect many of the readers here have already figured out!). Also from last night: since wearing his clothes was tied to leaving his CB on, he did figure out how to clean it. He rummaged around and found an old squirt bottle in the way back of a cabinet (I swear, you could find anything is this house if you searched hard enough). He also didn’t have any more complaints about wearing the CB at work—at least for the moment. I asked for the spare key which he did hand over—of course with the promise of lots of attention and sex from me. :-)Yes…we can make this all work.

Because I like shopping online, I found a nice little bit of fetish clothing on sale for 80% off. I showed Ab a picture and he was all enthused. It arrives tomorrow but I might make him wait until the Jailbird arrives until he can wear it. “Locked in steel, laced in silk,” I told him. HOT!