the key is on my nipple ring

Peeing Forward October 6, 2010

Ab asked me to post about this, which is probably the closest he’ll ever get to writing a blog entry himself. Just call me Devoted Lover, scribe. 🙂

Ab has come to realize that one  of the things he doesn’t like about being locked is having to pee sitting down. Although it didn’t bother him at first—and he used the extra minutes to play a few rounds of Angry Birds—there are moments where he doesn’t want to spend the extra time. (Welcome to my world, sweetheart.) On top of that, he has discovered that his body equates “sitting” with “defecation” so even if he doesn’t have a BM, his body puts him through a brief contractile process until it realizes that there is nothing there to expel. (Sorry if this is TMI for anyone, but Ab was dictating.)

On top of that, as he says, we’re all trained to pee a certain way. They call it toilet training for a reason and boys are trained to pee standing up and girls sitting down. He pointed out to me that when we are somewhere without a toilet—hiking in the woods, say—and I get the urge to go, I always find a log or something that I can squat on. “True,” I said, “but that’s because if I pee standing up, it splashes all over my leg. Not so good for the rest of the hike.” He noted that he has never seen me pee standing up, which may be true. I realized that I will urinate while standing in the shower, but that’s the only place.

Anyway, enough about me. Back to Ab. He’s decided that he wanted to figure out a way to “pee forward” as he calls it, not downward, from the sitting position.

(As an aside, this seems to be an interesting bit of evidence that he is not a true submissive, since submissives seem to accept their lot in life as sitting-pee-ers once they become chaste.)

He tells me that as he is pondering this issue, he has a very distant memory of his father kneeling down in front of the toilet to pee. Not a two kneed kneel, just one knee—almost like genuflecting. (Please. Hold the Catholic jokes.) Ab has no idea when this was or how old he was. I suspect it was his father teaching him how to urinate…or maybe he was teaching Ab’s younger brother and Ab happened to be in the bathroom. (“Hey everyone! Let’s all pile in and have a party!”) Ab thought that might be true or perhaps his father was just being fastidious—he was the one who cleaned the toilets after all. Why make more work for yourself if you can avoid it?

So, Ab tried peeing while kneeling and…it worked! It worked well enough that he had his peeing forward sensation, didn’t make a mess, and didn’t take as long as sitting down. Plus he wasn’t distracted by Angry Birds.

Will this become a regular habit? Certainly not in a public restroom and it wouldn’t work at a urinal—well, maybe a urinal in the boy’s room at an elementary school but why an adult male would be peeing on his knees in a kid’s bathroom in a school is probably a can of worms we don’t want to open. 😉 But at home and at work (which is essentially a private bathroom)—this may become a feasible option for peeing forward.

We’ll keep you posted.

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Jailbird Update: The Jailbird continues to be comfortable and fits well. He tried a little silicone lube around the ring yesterday and found that it stung! Baby powder continues to be his product of choice to prevent chafing and irritation and it works well. For some reason, the whole apparatus twists to the right, so the lock, instead of being upright at 12 o’clock is off to the side at 2 o’clock. We have no idea why. Ab commented that he had a varicocelectomy on the right side, but that was a million years ago and I don’t think it could possibly have that long-lasting an effect. But except for that little oddity, the JB seems to be the ideal device, at least for the moment.

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Update #2: As I was looking for the graphic for this post, I came across a couple of different blogs that were discussing the idea of a gender-normative or gender-blind society. Why do we make the distinction between men and women everywhere, especially when we are becoming more aware of the gender-fluid people who live among us? A major thought is to establish all public restrooms as gender-free. Interesting stuff and something for me to think about.

I also saw comments related to the fact that we “train” boys to pee standing up as a way to reinforce the patriarchy. It separates boys from girls and implies that boys are better because standing is a more powerful position than sitting. There is no physiological reason why a boy or man needs to urinate from an upright position.

Again, I probably can see the logic in this and not disagree entirely. That said, Ab has been peeing standing up for 56 of his 57 years (he spent one year in diapers, I am sure) and so I am not going to insist on re-training him at this stage of the game, even if he is wearing a chastity device. “Old habits die hard,” as they say.