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Dev’s Boi March 6, 2011

Posted by Dev in Devices, Musings.
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5 comments

From time to time over the past few months, I have thought that I’d like to get Ab’s Watchful Mistress engraved. It has a nice flat bar which seemed to be the perfect place for something special: his name, “Property of Dev,” “Dev’s Cock,” or something else. I hadn’t quite decided what. Trouble is, I couldn’t quite figure out how to make this happen. I have a lot of chutzpah but I couldn’t see myself going into the swankiest jewelery store in the city (the only one that still has an engraver on the premises) and say, “This is my husband’s chastity device. I’d like you to engrave it thusly…”

The other night, Ab chided me. “You’re not very observant,” he said. “I’m not?” I replied. “Why?” He showed me his WM. Apparently, he had taken it upon himself to do the engraving, using a Dremel tool! “DEV’S BOI” it says. Perfect! I had thought of boi, done in a fancy script, sort of like this:

but I also like the homegrown look from Ab’s personal touch. Here are a few pictures. You might need to peer closely to see the engraving, but it’s there.

And why isn’t he wearing his WM, you might ask? Two reasons: 1) we had a wild night on Friday, into Saturday morning and frankly, it left us both exhausted (I took a two hour nap in the afternoon yesterday!). Ab put the WM right back on but after a little while, realized he felt sore, so he decided he needed a break. 2) Ab’s doing construction in the bathroom (as I mentioned in my post yesterday, with our trip to Home Depot). Since he’s lifting and bending and carrying drywall, it seemed reasonable to leave it off for the day. He promises that he’ll be back in it tonight and we’ll be back on chastity track.

As for the wild time on Friday and Saturday? Don’t worry, I’m working on a post with all the scintillating details. Stay tuned!

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Sweet Dreams March 4, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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9 comments

His CB is missing!

I love sleeping with my husband. For me, it’s a major bonus of being married—a lifelong slumber party with my best friend. I can count the times we haven’t slept together when we’ve been together on one hand. Sure, we’ve been apart many times in our 32+ years together—I had one job where I was traveling quite a bit—but when we’re at home or traveling as a couple, we’re sleeping in the same bed.

This is why, when I read blogs of women who make their husbands sleep on the floor next to the bed, or in the guest room, or in a cage in the basement, I just shake my head. The latter is usually described as some form of punishment but I wonder who is really being punished? I know that if Ab was down in a cage in the basement, I’d be tossing and turning all night, depriving myself of my much needed rest. This would really be beneficial for one or both of us? I don’t think so.

I mentioned in another post that I was reading GhosTV (another 5-star read in the PsyCop universe, BTW. Highly recommended). The protagonists are Vic and Jacob. They are both tall men, over six feet; Vic is rock-star skinny while Jacob is gym-aficionado muscular. Vic often comments how much he enjoys turning into “the solid wall of flesh” that is his lover. I can empathize. While Ab isn’t as big as Jacob, he is a man with muscles, planes, and angles shaping his body, as opposed to my feminine curves. Like Vic, I like turning into him and feeling him holding me close.

I read another blog that said dominant women shouldn’t spoon with their men—it puts the woman in a submissive position. Seriously, who comes up with these “rules”? Ab can spoon with me all he wants. Again, he holds me close and now I often feel the metal of his Watchful Mistress brush against my ass. Let’s talk dominant, shall we? There he is, caged and loving me, wanting me, and being denied by me. Yes, I think spooning is quite acceptable for a woman in charge. 🙂

My parents slept like Ricky and Lucy, that is, in twin beds. They never had a double bed and in later years, even had separate rooms. This is a mystery to me because they were affectionate with each other and obviously in love. Maybe not a wild, passionate love but certainly one that sustained 56 years of marriage. So I don’t understand how they could give up seven or eight hours of intimacy and closeness every night for their entire married lives. I never asked and I am not going to now—at this point, it’s moot and not really any of my business—but the “sleeping apart” gene is definitely one I did not inherit!

When I was about 12 years old, a new family built a home and moved into our neighborhood. The windows on the second floor were misplaced in relation to the windows on the first floor. Supposedly this was to accommodate the parent’s king-sized bed. I can certainly imagine what was going through my mother’s architecturally-correct mind: “Sex fiends!” she probably thought. “Destroying the fenestration of the house for piece of furniture!” LOL.

While I am hesitant to say “forever” about things—maybe I don’t like to jinx myself—I think it is probably safe to say that Ab and I will be sleeping together for the rest of our lives. That’s a given. Now will he be wearing a cock cage for years to come? Time will tell. 🙂

* * * * *

There is a bit of a flap at Northwestern University, where a professor of human sexuality had an after class demonstration of some kinky sex. Apparently the woman, whose kink is exhibitionism (not too surprising) had her boyfriend get her off with some sort of a device. My newspaper would only call it “a mechanized device.” The Chicago Sun-Times was a little more specific, describing it thus:

The live sex act featured a sex toy that was a modified version of a power tool known as a reciprocating saw, or Sawzall. The tool used at Northwestern featured a phallic attachment in place of the blade.

Sawzall, huh? I want to see what this thing looks like…LOL. I know Ab has a Sawzall and he’s a clever guy…

Naturally, parents and alums are outraged and the president has pledged a full investigation. It doesn’t sound like there is a whole lot to investigate but here we are—sex in America, especially public sex, gets everybody’s panties in a twist. This comment (left on the article at the Sun-Times) sums up my feelings about the whole situation quite nicely:

This is too much for my brain to handle. People who witnessed the demonstration weren’t disturbed by it, but people who didn’t witness the demonstration are disturbed by it. H L Mencken was right: some people are disturbed by the notion that somewhere someone might be having fun.

So true!

* * * * *

I apologize for the lack of updates over the past few days. I’ve been insanely busy this week. The entire month of March is shaping up to be a doozy, to be honest. The good news is, we have a trip at the end of the month to look forward to. Plus, being so busy is helping my cabin fever, which is also good.

* * * * *

Confidential to Harry Haversackers: You mentioned living on the plains in Canada. Many years ago, Ab and I took a two week camping trip and traveled across Canada, via Route 1, from Ontario (Lake of the Woods) to Banff and Lake Louise. We then drove down to Glacier Park in Montana and drove home through the US. We camped for one night in a Provincial Park in either Manitoba or Saskatchewan. It was amazing because we had been driving through miles of flat plains, for hours. The park had a lake that was way down (it almost looked like it had been created by a meteor or something). The lake was good sized with lots of people swimming, boating, and waterskiing. The camping area was very large and nice and looked down at the lake. I can’t remember the name of the park. I have scoured the lists of Provincial Parks and none of the descriptions match my memory of this place. Do you have any idea where we might have been? Thanks in advance!

Greeting Cards and Calendars November 14, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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11 comments

After a 21 day wait, Jnuts and Belle finally received their Jailbird. Lots of excitement in their household, I am sure! People have been offering them congratulations and best wishes, which made me think there may be a business opportunity in this…greeting cards for the chaste couple, both to announce and to congratulate. Here are a few designs I just put together.

For the couple who want to share their exciting news with their friends, I offer this design:

 

with this sentiment inside:

 

A little less subtle, and for those who want to show off their device (or perhaps, make it explicit that they are using a device…):

The picture could be altered depending on what is being worn. On the inside, this card reads:

Courtesy demands that such an important announcement be acknowledged, so congratulations are in order. A few stars to celebrate can be found here:

with this sentiment inside:

Another option to express best wishes to the newly chaste couple:

with this inside:

Last, I came up with a calendar that a couple could use to mark their journey.

All of these are presented in fun. Enjoy!

Letter to the Editor November 6, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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7 comments

To the Editor:

I report herein an interesting case study of non-pharmacologic treatment of erectile dysfunction in an otherwise healthy 57 year old man.

The patient was referred to me by his primary care provider for evaluation and treatment of erectile dysfunction (ED). The PCP had prescribed 50 mg of sildenafil citrate (Viagra) and while it was effective, the patient did not like the side effects (dizziness, flushing, headache). At a lower dose of 25 mg the patient still complained of side effects and had poorer quality erections. He was then referred to me for evaluation.

Past medical history was unremarkable except for a varicocelectomy at age 23. The patient subsequently fathered two children whilst in his thirties. The patient denied any ongoing medical problems including diabetes, hypertension, respiratory difficulties or neurologic changes. The patient was not taking any prescribed medications. OTC he takes omeprazole (Prilosec) and an occasional acetaminophen for headache. He denies use of recreational drugs. He does not smoke. He admits to social alcohol consumption. Physical examination was grossly normal.

Sexual history: patient is in a longstanding and loving marriage of 32 years. His wife is healthy. They have sex one to two times per week, usually initiated by the patient. Patient stated that he did not always achieve a full erection which seemed to disappoint and, at times, displease his wife. Upon further questioning, patient admitted to daily masturbatory activity, usually in private. Typically, he masturbated to orgasm using only his hand.

Based on my evaluation, I concluded that his regular masturbatory habit was likely interfering with his erections when he desired to have sex with his wife. Given that he had negative sequelae with sildenafil citrate, I doubted that a trial of tadalafil (Cialis) would be any more effective or acceptable to the patient. Thus I suggested a period of abstinence from self-stimulation and orgasm. I explained to the patient that he did not need to abstain from sexual activity, only from daily masturbation and orgasm, either alone or with his wife. I further explained that this abstinence could be accomplished voluntarily although some men opted to use a mechanical device to prevent them from touching their genitals and achieving erection and orgasm. Lastly, I explained that the process might require several weeks to evaluate its success as opposed to minutes when using a phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitor. The patient verbalized understanding and agreed to a trial. Follow-up was scheduled for three months.

Upon his return to my office, the patient informed me that he had, in fact, purchased a commercially made “chastity device” (CB-6000s, manufactured by A.L. Enterprises, Inc., Price, Utah). He subsequently purchased a second device (the “Jailbird,” manufactured by Mature Metal, Midland, Texas) because his wife found the polycarbonate of the CB esthetically displeasing. His initial period of abstinence from orgasm was 60 days. Note that I did not suggest this time interval. This was a decision made by the patient and his wife.

Upon release from the device, the patient was able to achieve an erection and orgasm although he rated the quality of the erection as “average” and the intensity of the orgasm as “mediocre.” He attributed this to personal stress as well as unrealistic expectations from both his wife and himself as to what they would experience after such a lengthy period of denial. After a 24 hour period of release he returned to wearing the metal device on a continuous basis.

After a 20 day period of abstinence from orgasm the patient was awakened from his sleep by his wife who was stimulating his genitals with her hand. He noted at this time he was wearing a locked cock ring which provided total access to his penis. As an aside, he noted that his wife had become quite enamored of his chaste state and had requested that he wear a device on his genitalia at all times except when she determined otherwise. He had agreed to this. It was at this time that the purchase of the cock ring, also manufactured by Mature Metal, was made.

On the morning in question, the patient was successfully stimulated to orgasm by his wife, although they used a technique colloquially known as a “ruined orgasm.” This was a mutual decision as his wife was menstruating and unable to have intercourse. A ruined orgasm, for those not familiar with the term, is one in which the man ejaculates but does not have the explosive release and subsequent sexual satisfaction as with a traditional orgasm. Still, the patient reported that the experience was quite pleasurable and he would be interested in repeating it. More importantly, he reported that the quality of his erection was “excellent.” He estimated his penis to be 5.5″ in length and 1.5″ in diameter. He was able to maintain his erection through his entire time of stimulation and beyond. He did note that the cock ring might have some effect on his erectile quality and wondered if he would be able to wear it during intercourse without injuring his wife. I demurred to answer that question.

In addition to being able to achieve and maintain an erection, the patient noted that overall, the quality of his sex life had improved dramatically during the three month trial. He reported increased sexual activity, greater intimacy, improved communication, and in general, greater feelings of affection, tenderness, and closeness with his wife. He reports that she is also experiencing these same feelings and seems pleased with their experience with abstinence and denial. The patient and his wife have voluntarily agreed to continue with a “chaste lifestyle” (his term) for the indefinite and foreseeable future.

To conclude, in healthy men with no organic basis for ED, I suggest abstinence and orgasm denial, collectively known as “male chastity,” as an effective and novel intervention. Further research is warranted to confirm or refute the findings of this single case study.

Yours most sincerely,

Victor Y. E. Rection, MD
Saratoga Springs, NY

X-Ray Vision November 3, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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10 comments

I’ve always been in inveterate crotch-watcher but now it is even more fascinating. “Is that guy packing some plastic?” I think to myself. “Is there a Jailbird tucked among those folds of denim?” Even with all my years of experience as an eye-baller, I have yet to see a man sporting a chastity device—at least that I am aware of. So comments like this, from The Glow Inside blog, make me chuckle:

No matter what you do, your balls are always going to be a target for squishing and your pants are always going to have a large, strange and basically immovable bulge somewhere inside them.

Okay, maybe a guy’s balls will be getting squished and that’s uncomfortable but I have yet to notice “a large, strange and basically immovable bulge” in someone’s pants. And I do look! Who knows how many chastity devices have been sold? I found this comment from Tom Allen posted on a fairly stupid article (but of course, the always eloquent Tom had a good comment and brightened the discourse):

That said, it’s difficult to get solid numbers for the sales of modern chastity devices, but based on various reports form several online adult toy distributors, AL Enterprises, the makers of the CB2000, CB3000, and the CB6000 have probably sold several hundred thousand devices since they started manufacturing them about 10 years ago.

So if they’ve sold several hundred thousand, you’d think that I’d at least notice one chastity device out there in the wild, wouldn’t you? Well, so far nothing. Nada. Zero. Zip. Which translates into, guys, stop worrying how much your device shows in your pants. It doesn’t. At least when your fly is zipped.

This point was further reinforced to me last night. I have been feeling a little unsettled about our rule modification wherein Ab has more access to the key and screwdriver. I realized that I gave him back a little of the control he gave me and that was bothering me. Yes, he told me I could trust him and he would only take off the device to bathe, change it, or take a break because it was painful. Even so, part of me wants reassurance that this is in fact, true. During the day yesterday I didn’t have that reassurance (I suppose I could have asked me to send a picture) so I was feeling a little bit stressed about this. Needless to say, when I got home, my eyes went straight to his crotch.

Not Rudolf Nureyev and no comfort clothes!

Ab was in the kitchen wearing a rather unusual “casual comfort at home” outfit. Let’s just say he looked a little like Rudolf Nureyev in a baggy t-shirt. LOL. Although the t-shirt hung down, the pants should have been revealing enough that if something was going to show, I would have seen it but still, nothing. Verification that the device was in place required a quick hand rub and of course, I had to camouflage that maneuver with a kiss and few sweet nothings of the “I’m so happy to be home and see you, I’ve missed you today,” variety. He responded to that with a little crotch grind which really gave me a chance to verify that yup, the Watchful Mistress was still in place and locked on. That, of course made us even a little more friskier so I had to ask for some visual verification. Ab happily complied.

Whoever would have though a couple could have so much fun with five ounces of metal screwed onto a guy’s genitals? If you told me this back in July, I am not sure I would have believed it. But I am a believer now! 😉

I will say, the Watchful Mistress is incredibly small. Tiny, even. It is only ¼” shorter than the Jailbird, but qualitatively, it looks like we’ve switched from “regular” to “petite.” The cock fills it right up to the end with no room for wiggling or expansion at all. Any arousal goes backwards as I was easily able to demonstrate during my visual verification check. And that backward arousal seems to be hardwired to Ab’s brain as it didn’t take much to get him moaning and groaning. “C’mon, c’mon,” he mumbled, “I’ve gotta cook dinner. We can play afterwards.”

And we did.

As long as I keep working on the reassurance and visual verification, I suspect the Watchful Mistress will stay firmly screwed on. Which is a good thing, all around.

A Slight Change to the Game November 1, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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10 comments

Ab and I have made a slight change to the game in terms of keyholding. A couple of different events transpired to bring about this change. Whether or not it’s permanent remains to be seen but this is the way we are playing right now.

The first thing was an email correspondence that I had with a friend who is about midway through a very long lock-up (110 days). I commented to him that he never seemed to say very much about his wife having the key or any wish he might have to be released. I said that he seemed almost Zen-like in his acceptance. He wrote back and said that was an accurate perception on my part. Although he hadn’t gotten all the way to Zen, at least not yet, he did feel quite complacent and at peace with his present non-orgasmic state.

The next thing that happened was that Ab started to complain about the Jailbird. This surprised me since he’d been wearing it since it arrived on September 30th (not continuously but close to) and so why was it becoming uncomfortable after a month? Ab noted a couple of things. One it had a tendency to twist to the left (a 2 o’clock position). While this hadn’t bothered him at first, it seemed to be causing more discomfort now. Second, he was wondering about pubic hairs growing in. Ab has been “smooth” for years and was used to shaving his pubes every other day or so. He had been making do in and around the Jailbird but he was wondering if the lack of a super-clean shave was causing a problem. I have had more than one ingrown pubic hair in my life and I know they can be painful, so his thesis seemed plausible to me.

In the midst of this, the new Watchful Mistress and single locking cock ring arrived.

He had a device-free day during the day on Friday, but made a promise to me that he wouldn’t masturbate or otherwise stimulate himself. In fact, this is when he gave me the puzzled look which I referred to in this post. I am in charge of his orgasms. Of course he wasn’t going to do anything. He is totally accepting of that state of affairs.

Friday night we were both in frisky moods and wanted to play around but I said he needed to lock up first. We have a rule that fetish clothing can only be worn when locked up. That was fine…the new Watchful Mistress went on and stayed on into the day on Saturday. And we had fun.

Saturday night at dinner it was time to talk about where this was heading. I wanted to make sure the new devices were fitting okay and didn’t need to be sent back to MM for adjustments. I also wanted to re-assess Ab’s perception of the game and his commitment to it. Remember—this whole thing was my idea. I need to be sensitive to how he is feeling.

I mentioned my email correspondence. “Tell me,” I said, “there seems to be a psychological component to the key. From what I have read, some guys are sort of obsessed: asking their keyholder if they can be released, even begging and pleading. It’s also very important to that the key be completely inaccessible and kept in an unknown location. At the other end of the spectrum seem to be the guys who are more complacent and accepting—Zen like, in a sense.” Ab nodded. I continued, “If this was a continuum with the ‘anxious for the key’ guys at one and the Zen-guys at the other, where would you fall?”

“About three-quarters of the way along the line,” he said. “Towards the Zen end.”

“So the whole psychological piece of having the key hidden or unavailable isn’t super important?”

“No,” he said. “At least not now. Maybe at the beginning it was but now, it’s more what’s in my head. I have made a commitment.”

To be honest, I wasn’t terribly surprised at this. He did not seem to be all that wound up about the key, especially after the first few weeks. In fact, he even complained a few times about too much metal in his mouth when he wanted to suckle. I thought for a minute. “Okay then, how about this for a proposal. What I want is for you to be wearing something all the time, whether it be the Jailbird, Watchful Mistress, or locking cock ring. ‘All the time’ can be realistically defined…maybe it’s more like 23.5/7 with the device coming off for showering or shaving but basically, something is always on your cock except when I say it’s not. Is this okay?”

Ab nodded.

“But, the change will be that I’ll leave the screwdriver and the key, along with the screw and the lock, out and available to you. You have the flexibility to decide which device you want to wear and can change in and out as dictated by your own personal comfort. You have three to choose from but you can change when you want—daily if you feel like it—if that ensures you are comfortable.”

Ab nodded again.

“Realize, of course, that the cock ring is the least secure in terms of preventing you from touching yourself so if that becomes a problem—too much temptation—you’ll let me know and we may take that one off the list of wearable devices.”

Ab laughed at that. “Wearable devices.” Yes, sometimes I do tend to get carried away!

We shook hands on the agreement then I remembered one last thing. “The screwdriver and/or key must remain here at the house. No taking them with you to work, no carrying them around in your pocket. You can take the device off when you are home—presumably to bathe and shave. I am not giving you a ‘Get out of Jail free’ card.”

“Yup,” Ab said. “That’s fine.”

So that’s where we are now. He put the Watchful Mistress on last evening and sent me a text at lunch today, “So far, so snug.” His immediate impression is that the screw is more effective than the lock because it holds everything together more tightly. The lock had a little bit of wiggle around the shackle and he wondered if that was what was causing the twisting. If this proves to be true, I’ll be sending the Jailbird back to be modified for a screw, too.

I’ll keep everyone posted as to how this new phase of the game evolves. It should be interesting!

Update on Mature Metal Devices October 29, 2010

Posted by Dev in Devices, Musings.
Tags: , , , , ,
4 comments

I can spill the beans now because Ab’s new devices arrived yesterday. I had been keeping it a secret and didn’t want to spoil the surprise by writing about them here until he had them in hand. I am including some pictures that might be considered not safe for work, so please continue reading, after the jump…

(more…)

Just to Recap September 11, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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5 comments

Great discussion in the blog yesterday. Thanks to everyone for all their comments (and also for the emails I received that were discussing the issue). I appreciate all the feedback!

Based on all of this, I am going to be ordering Ab a Jailbird from Mature Metal. I’ve traded a couple of emails back and forth with Mr. MM and as many have mentioned, he seems very nice, very responsive, and eager to make his customers happy. This is the configuration I am going with:

Length: 2″ (which is 1/2″ shorter than the CB-6000s; Ab doesn’t fill that all the way up to the end and Mr. MM suggests that getting a shorter one would be a good idea).
Diameter: 1 1/4″ (which is 1/8″ narrower than the CB)
Ring: 1 3/4″ (same as the CB)
Gap: 1/4″ (the size of the small spacer on the CB. Ab has been switching back and forth between the smallest and the next smallest spacer, which Mr. MM tells me is 3/8″. Mr. MM also tells me that the changing from 1/4″ to 3/8″ [or vice versa] is an easy adjustment, if necessary)

Our progression has been that we started out way too big with the Birdcage (which, as I have noted, I think is really meant for play, not serious long-term wear). The CB-6000s is a closer fit but still a little big, so I am going with a slightly smaller, tighter Jailbird which I hope will be the perfect solution. As they say, third time is the charm! He’ll also be back in metal which I think will be a whole lot more satisfactory than the plastic. As for weight: he’ll be going from about 3 oz to 6 oz which is an increase. He complained about the weight of the Birdcage at the end but I think the problem was that it was so big and hanging down, it was more annoying than heavy (the cage on that is 5 inches! And now he’ll be wearing 2? BIG difference).

I am not going to fuss around with doing more measurements or letting him in on the decision this time. I am pulling this back into my hands a little bit and saying, “This is what you are wearing. No ifs, ands, or buts.” This is based on the assumption of good fit and comfort, of course, but I have taken those factors into consideration in terms of what I am ordering.

Mr. MM tells me that it takes two to three weeks to build a device so I now I need to sit back and be patient. Three weeks will bring us to the beginning of October. Maybe we’ll just plan on a fun-filled weekend and he gets his new device as a present at the end. I sort of like that idea.

The other thing that came up in the comments was the idea of  a Prince Albert piercing, which many men have and use to secure their devices. I’ve been after him about a PA for years—I’ve always thought they are hot. I brought it up again last night and got the same horrified look that I always get. LOL. I am probably not going to be able to sway him on this one but I’ll keep talking about it. Actually, talking about piercings has been a fantasy for us so we’ll keep up with that.

As an aside, if anyone would like to read a story where the guy has a couple of piercings and they play a role in the narrative, let me recommend Bad Case of Loving You by Laney Cairo.  It’s a fun story with a nice happy ending.

I was supposed to have a facial this morning but the esthetician just called—she has a bad cold and doesn’t want to breathe in my face. Thank you for that consideration! So, I suddenly have a little bit of free time that I didn’t expect. That’s a nice treat…I think I’ll start filling it up with another cup of coffee and some leisure reading. Oh, and ordering up Ab’s new Jailbird. 😉