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Swinging Shenanigans in Southern Maine October 29, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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Isn't this the kinkiest place you've ever seen?

The paper has been all a-buzz this week with front page stories four days in a row–with two on Thursday–about swinger parties being held at a function hall in Sanford, Maine. Gasp! Can you imagine? Sex acts, people in the nude, doing God knows what near the food! It seems like the food was the most problematic issue, at least for some people. LOL.

Here are links to the various stories:

Sanford Orders Caterer to Stop Sex Parties at Banquet Hall (Tuesday)

Caterer Promises to Stop Sanford Sex Parties (Wednesday)

Caterer Tells Town Sex Parties Will Stop (Thursday)

Sex Parties Cause Banquet Hall Patrons to Flee (Thursday)

Fundraiser Moved Out of Sex Party Site (Friday)

Another view of the place where all kinds of kinky shit was going on!

It’s nice to know that the police and town officials are “keeping me safe” by imposing their Puritanical views on me (and everyone else) and assuming that we’d all be as appalled as they are about the notion of swinger parties behind held at night, behind closed doors, in a private venue. Guess what? I’m more appalled at their assumptions that I’d have a problem with this.

You’ve got to wonder how people’s minds work, though. Consider the following tidbit, published on Thursday.

Town officials are so concerned that residents may be offended at the prospect of voting where sex parties occurred that they are directing Ward 7 voters to cast ballots Nov. 8 at the Ward 3 polling place, at the St. Ignatius Gym on Riverside Avenue.

“Not knowing what might be present or how clean the hall might be, we moved the polling place in case anyone might be uncomfortable voting there,” said Town Clerk Sue Cote.

Seriously? Exactly what might be present? Cooties? A used condom? (Gasp!!). I imagine that the owners have a cleaning crew that comes in and knows how to wield a mop and squeegee. I would also hazard a guess that the place is more of a wreck after a wedding or raucous family reunion than it is after a swinger party.

Careful readers will note that the police and town officials fall back on their tried and true canard that it would never be the good people of Maine who would engage in such lascivious activities–of course it is folks from away, specifically Massachusetts. The police used their very best detective skills to ferret out that bit of evidence by looking at the license plates of the cars in the parking lot. They “all” were from Massachusetts. Again, seriously? Every last one? No horny kinky folks from New Hampshire? Or Maine? LOL.

Dan Savage had a very funny headline in his blog which I just had to share with you:

People Who Live In Massachusetts Are Big Fucking Sex Crazed Slut Monsters and Their Creepy Erections, Slutty Vaginas, Freaky Accents, and Parked Cars Are Totally Grossing Out the Good People of Sanford, Maine

You can read the whole thing here.

As someone said in the comments, I so hope that Jon Stewart picks this one up. 🙂

California Dreamin’ April 8, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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What do you get when you mix two chaste men, two keyholders, a mini-Cooper convertible, and California sun? A whole lot of fun.

As I mentioned in my previous post, on Sunday Ab and I met up with likes2blocked and his wife, keyhldr (hereinafter referred to as L and K). Any anxiety I had been feeling dissipated and flew out the window within minutes of their arrival. As K said to me, “It’s good to finally see you in person,” as opposed to meet, because in truth, we had met months ago. This was just the final step of bringing our physical bodies into the same room. Still, I suppose there could have been some awkwardness. What if K wore some revolting perfume? (She didn’t.) Or L didn’t like my haircut? (If that was the case, he didn’t say anything.) But none of that happened. We connected like old friends, getting together for 36 whirlwind hours together.

So, what did we do? Well, we talked a lot, shared a couple of meals, drank like fish, got kinky together, and on Monday, had a day trip to Point Reyes National Seashore, where we oohed and aahed over the amazing scenery and lighthouse, took pictures, and were blown away by the sight of four whales. The weather was spectacular and driving on twisty-turny Route 1 with the top down on the car was a blast. It reminded me that spring will come to Maine (someday) and I will get to drive in my own convertible. And while Maine does have some off-the-charts scenery and lighthouses, we don’t have any roads like the California version of Route 1 (our Route 1 is pretty boring, in contrast). The drive was definitely a peak experience.

As were the back-to-back dime-worthy orgasmic experiences for me. 🙂 . And the chance to do some serious locked man teasing (and that wasn’t just Ab). Like I said, we had a whole lot of fun.

We never did get to the vibrator store but as L said, when you own a Hitachi do you really need anything else? Good point.

Being with L and K reminded me of being with some of my old nudist friends. If you’ve seen someone naked, can there really be any inhibitions in the conversation? I don’t think so. This was similar. I’ve been writing about my sex life in this blog for the past eight months and the man who shares that sex life was right next to me. I knew that L was wearing a Mature Metal Jailbird on his cock and his wife had the key hidden away somewhere. Were there any barriers between us? Of course not.

Don’t get me wrong. We didn’t talk only about sex. In fact, we talked about just about everything under the sun—and then some. But it was fun to have the opportunity to talk about chastity and kinkiness and fetishes and anything else that popped into our heads. I have mused in this blog about how great I think chastity is and how I wish I could talk about it with others but unfortunately, a couple’s sex life is usually not a topic for polite conversation. Well, now I was with friends where it was completely on the table and up for discussion. In that regard, it was a very liberating experience.

That point has been driven home even more in the days since. While I have been blabbing about the absolutely wonderful time I had, I always have to stop short. “How did you meet this couple?” is a common question. “Through the sex blog I write,” is not the appropriate answer, even if it is correct! “What sort of things do you have in common?” Uh, K and I keep our husbands locked up and neither of them has had an orgasm for at least a month? LOL.

Speaking of, Ab didn’t have a San Francisco orgasm, as I thought he might. The opportunity never really presented itself and he didn’t seem to care. His last one was back on March 4th (I am sure he doesn’t know the date but I do). As for the next one? ::shrug:: We’ll know when the time is right.

* * * * *

Sightseeing wrap-up: Ab saw more stuff than me but I did have a few free minutes for fun. I got to ride on the historic streetcars several times, which was a treat. We saw the Castro Theater (from the outside) and the location of Harvey Milk’s camera shop (now a HRC office and shop). We went to the streetcar museum and did some shopping in the Port of San Francisco building. Ab visited Golden Gate Park and Chinatown. We drove over the Golden Gate Bridge and coming back into the city on Monday, we drove down Lombard Street. We ate lots of seafood, both cooked and raw. While the hole-in-the-wall sushi place we discovered on Thursday night was very good (and cheap), I think the fresh oysters in Inverness were the best thing I put in my mouth for the entire trip—well, of food, that is. 😉

All in all, a great trip. Now I need to start looking forward to the next one…

For Those Who Love Leather March 11, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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I am definitely not a fashionista and I usually don’t pay any attention to Fashion Week events in Paris and Milan, but the Fall 2011 collection from Hermès caught my eye. It started with a picture in the Wall Street Journal where they were making fun of the leather pants and boots combo (“poonts”?) calling it “the least practical garment” of all the collections. Seriously, are there any clothes at any fashion week that are practical? Or affordable? I don’t think so. So, why not go all out and drive the leather fetishists wild with top-to-bottom leather: hats, jackets, skirts, gloves, pants, boots, and yes, even poonts. I thought the model with the creamy white poonts and a falcon was pretty hot. I also loved the leather trim on sweaters and jackets, pulling the whole look together. Here are a few pictures for your viewing pleasure. I also found a video of the show, which was held at Hermès Left Bank store in Paris. I read more than one description of the show that said designer Christopher Lemaire “sent models down the runway at a slow, almost meditative pace.” The background music, described as “woo woo” is a performed by a Chinese musician playing a Chinese harp, which we, apparently, would call a zither.

I love the quilting on the bill of the cap and the contrast of silk and leather. Notice the trim on the jacket and oh yes, the poonts!

Here’s a video of the show…

For those who want more, there’s a very nice slide show at the New York Times. You can zoom in on the pictures and really get up close and personal with all that luscious leather. Enjoy!

* * * * *

Meanwhile, over at the Louis Vuitton show there was lots of fetish-y clothing, with leather, fur, boots, see-through shear skirts revealing thigh high stockings, and more. Not really my taste but I can see how it would appeal to some. Ab tells me he wants one of the French chambermaid’s dresses. Something tells me this would cost more than his housekeeper dress from Amazon…

I love the feather duster!

(Un)Safe Sex with a Sawzall March 5, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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After my post yesterday about the incident at Northwestern University, I wondered if Ab would come home with his Sawzall. He didn’t but he did send me a few links for Sawzall adpaters, designed to turn them into fucking machines or the more colorfully named, Fuckzall. Apparently this is what was used in the demonstration sex act for the optional after class viewing opportunity. How did he know about these and I didn’t? He gave me some vague answer that he read about them on Gizmodo. Um, right…

Maybe I am kinkier than I realize, but I think the idea of a Fuckzall is fucking hot. 🙂 I’ve seen Ab’s Sawzall but I have never held the thing. I wonder how slow it can go? Or how fast?

To cure his cabin fever, he decided to renovate one of our bathrooms. He tore everything out, assessed what he needed and then we headed off to Home Depot to buy paint and a new toilet. He also told me that he needed a new Ryobi drill because the charger on the one we have had died.

Because of his work, Ab owns a zillion tools, power and otherwise. Most of them are at the shop and he brings them home when needed here for a project, but we have a few things that are kept at the house, including this particular drill. I have absolutely no clue what’s what and on the rare occasion I need to do something, like hammer a tack, I ask him for the tool and it appears in my hand. To be honest, the more likely scenario is that I tell him, “That tack needs to be hammered” and it gets done without any other intervention from me. The point is, I don’t have a mental inventory of the tools that we own.

Anyway, because Ab does discuss spending money with me, even though I am clueless about the tools around the house, he brought up this drill. He tells me he could buy a drill by itself or he could be a kit which includes a drill, flashlight, and reciprocating saw. Reciprocating saw? The Ryobi version of the Sawzall? My eyes lit up. “And the saw would be battery powered, too, like the drill?” Yes, he said. Okay, now I’m really interested.

At Home Depot, he finds one version of the drill package that includes the drill, flashlight, circular saw, reciprocating saw and a carryall bag for $149. He’s convinced that he saw one at the other Home Depot (when Ab gets into a renovation project, Home Depot becomes his home away from home) that was only $119 and didn’t include the circular saw.

“Go ahead and buy the kit,” I said, thinking of the Fuckzall adapter I have already ordered from Extreme Restraints. (I told you I thought it was hot!)

“No, no,” he said. All he really needed was the drill and a new charger. He could use our existing flashlight on the charger and he really didn’t need another circular and reciprocating saw. He could buy the drill for $49 and save one hundred bucks.

Damn! No battery operated reciprocating saw.

The kicker was, when he got home he found out the charger for the new drill isn’t the same as the old drill, so he can’t charge the flashlight! WTF!

He tells me that he has a different charger at the shop he can bring home so we’ll still have a flashlight but no battery operated saw. Well, I guess I can always go shopping. 😉

* * * * *

If Ab goes after me with the Fuckzall (although I like the thought of doing him…hee hee hee) you can be sure I’ll be checking and double-checking the device to make sure the saw is off and the adapter is on. God knows that this moron was thinking when he put a rubber dildo over the saw, stuck it in his wife, and then proceeded to shred her vagina to ribbons. From Baynet.com:

On March 9, the St. Mary’s County Sheriff’s Office was notified of a Lexington Park, Maryland woman, reportedly aged 27, who was flown to Prince George’s Hospital for an injury which occurred on March 8, as a result of a sexual act involving the use of a reciprocating saw.  The original 911 call was dispatched as a medical emergency.

A man told authorities that he had placed a sex toy on a saber saw blade and that the blade had sawed through the plastic and severely wounded the woman. Trooper 7 transported the woman to PG Hospital. The case remains under investigation at this time. No word on the condition of the woman at this time.

This was two years ago (2009). I wonder what shape she is now and if they’ve played with the Fuckzall since then? LOL.



Sweet Dreams March 4, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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His CB is missing!

I love sleeping with my husband. For me, it’s a major bonus of being married—a lifelong slumber party with my best friend. I can count the times we haven’t slept together when we’ve been together on one hand. Sure, we’ve been apart many times in our 32+ years together—I had one job where I was traveling quite a bit—but when we’re at home or traveling as a couple, we’re sleeping in the same bed.

This is why, when I read blogs of women who make their husbands sleep on the floor next to the bed, or in the guest room, or in a cage in the basement, I just shake my head. The latter is usually described as some form of punishment but I wonder who is really being punished? I know that if Ab was down in a cage in the basement, I’d be tossing and turning all night, depriving myself of my much needed rest. This would really be beneficial for one or both of us? I don’t think so.

I mentioned in another post that I was reading GhosTV (another 5-star read in the PsyCop universe, BTW. Highly recommended). The protagonists are Vic and Jacob. They are both tall men, over six feet; Vic is rock-star skinny while Jacob is gym-aficionado muscular. Vic often comments how much he enjoys turning into “the solid wall of flesh” that is his lover. I can empathize. While Ab isn’t as big as Jacob, he is a man with muscles, planes, and angles shaping his body, as opposed to my feminine curves. Like Vic, I like turning into him and feeling him holding me close.

I read another blog that said dominant women shouldn’t spoon with their men—it puts the woman in a submissive position. Seriously, who comes up with these “rules”? Ab can spoon with me all he wants. Again, he holds me close and now I often feel the metal of his Watchful Mistress brush against my ass. Let’s talk dominant, shall we? There he is, caged and loving me, wanting me, and being denied by me. Yes, I think spooning is quite acceptable for a woman in charge. 🙂

My parents slept like Ricky and Lucy, that is, in twin beds. They never had a double bed and in later years, even had separate rooms. This is a mystery to me because they were affectionate with each other and obviously in love. Maybe not a wild, passionate love but certainly one that sustained 56 years of marriage. So I don’t understand how they could give up seven or eight hours of intimacy and closeness every night for their entire married lives. I never asked and I am not going to now—at this point, it’s moot and not really any of my business—but the “sleeping apart” gene is definitely one I did not inherit!

When I was about 12 years old, a new family built a home and moved into our neighborhood. The windows on the second floor were misplaced in relation to the windows on the first floor. Supposedly this was to accommodate the parent’s king-sized bed. I can certainly imagine what was going through my mother’s architecturally-correct mind: “Sex fiends!” she probably thought. “Destroying the fenestration of the house for piece of furniture!” LOL.

While I am hesitant to say “forever” about things—maybe I don’t like to jinx myself—I think it is probably safe to say that Ab and I will be sleeping together for the rest of our lives. That’s a given. Now will he be wearing a cock cage for years to come? Time will tell. 🙂

* * * * *

There is a bit of a flap at Northwestern University, where a professor of human sexuality had an after class demonstration of some kinky sex. Apparently the woman, whose kink is exhibitionism (not too surprising) had her boyfriend get her off with some sort of a device. My newspaper would only call it “a mechanized device.” The Chicago Sun-Times was a little more specific, describing it thus:

The live sex act featured a sex toy that was a modified version of a power tool known as a reciprocating saw, or Sawzall. The tool used at Northwestern featured a phallic attachment in place of the blade.

Sawzall, huh? I want to see what this thing looks like…LOL. I know Ab has a Sawzall and he’s a clever guy…

Naturally, parents and alums are outraged and the president has pledged a full investigation. It doesn’t sound like there is a whole lot to investigate but here we are—sex in America, especially public sex, gets everybody’s panties in a twist. This comment (left on the article at the Sun-Times) sums up my feelings about the whole situation quite nicely:

This is too much for my brain to handle. People who witnessed the demonstration weren’t disturbed by it, but people who didn’t witness the demonstration are disturbed by it. H L Mencken was right: some people are disturbed by the notion that somewhere someone might be having fun.

So true!

* * * * *

I apologize for the lack of updates over the past few days. I’ve been insanely busy this week. The entire month of March is shaping up to be a doozy, to be honest. The good news is, we have a trip at the end of the month to look forward to. Plus, being so busy is helping my cabin fever, which is also good.

* * * * *

Confidential to Harry Haversackers: You mentioned living on the plains in Canada. Many years ago, Ab and I took a two week camping trip and traveled across Canada, via Route 1, from Ontario (Lake of the Woods) to Banff and Lake Louise. We then drove down to Glacier Park in Montana and drove home through the US. We camped for one night in a Provincial Park in either Manitoba or Saskatchewan. It was amazing because we had been driving through miles of flat plains, for hours. The park had a lake that was way down (it almost looked like it had been created by a meteor or something). The lake was good sized with lots of people swimming, boating, and waterskiing. The camping area was very large and nice and looked down at the lake. I can’t remember the name of the park. I have scoured the lists of Provincial Parks and none of the descriptions match my memory of this place. Do you have any idea where we might have been? Thanks in advance!

Quotes from Ab: XVI February 20, 2011

Posted by Dev in Quotes from Ab.
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“I should have never have made those things for you!”

The Abuddies (I have a matched set now) got a nice little workout last night. We had a quiet evening at home with a nice dinner and then doing what we usually do: watching a movie on Netflix, surfing the web. Ab fell asleep in his recliner and I eventually woke him up. “C’mon you,” I said. “Time for a little fun.”

I wanted Ab over my knee and that’s where he started. But the minute his bum got a little pink, he started squirming around, which means I have to keep after him. If he’d just stay put I’d keep swatting his hiney, but with all his wiggling, he got abuddied in other places, like his shoulders and thighs. “Please stop! Please stop!” (Our safeword, darling, if you remember is ‘Abigail,’ not ‘stop.’) He clearly has a very low pain threshold. When I watch videos of guys getting flogged or caned until they bleed, I just shake my head. We barely get to bright pink! LOL.

I might have to get some restraints and something to restrain him to, too. I like the “bow bench” that Ms. Marie had her husband build for her. I put in a work order for something similar to the production office but funny thing, it hasn’t appeared yet. I might have to have a talk with the foreman. 😉

I posted this picture in my tumblr gallery but I thought I’d share here, too. I like the contrasts. The blue pj’s look like they have Oreos floating around on them. I can’t quite tell what’s on the pink ones. Horseshoes? Then my eye drifts down and I see the wrist restraints and shackles on his legs. HAWT!

Stages of Acceptance and Eroticizing the Mundane February 13, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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Two disparate trains of thought have been running through my mind over the past few days. I have been trying to pull them together because they seem to be related. Let me share them with you.

The first idea I was had to do with the various stages of acceptance a person goes through to accept chastity—or any fetish or kink that his/her partner may present. The scenario that I read most commonly usually has the man presenting an idea to his wife/girlfriend. Rarely do I see that these women are immediately accepting—in fact they may be totally opposed to the notion. The stages seem to be:


  • Total confusion
  • Shocked
  • Weirded out (may be as extreme as total revulsion)

    If the woman is moving to be GGG (good, giving, game) then

  • Laissez-faire
  • Cautiously curious
  • Grudging acceptance
  • Enthusiastic participant

From what I have read, some women may stay in the first three stages in an endless loop. Their attitude seems to be, “I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t understand why you want to do that, it’s just weird.” The man, in response, becomes defensive, dejected, perhaps angry or depressed. He may move into “stealth mode” meaning he will participate in the activity, unbeknownst to his wife. Clearly none of this is psychologically healthy for either person.

If the wife decides she is willing to entertain the idea, she moves to the next series of steps. “Laissez-faire” is characterized by an “Okay, if you want to, but don’t ask me to be involved” attitude. Her husband, happy now that he is able to do what was previously forbidden let’s her know that he is grateful; this in turn triggers a cautious curiosity and tentative willingness to learn more. “Grudging acceptance” in chastity might be characterized by, “I’ll take the key but don’t expect much else” or, “I’m willing to play along with this according to some specific ground rules.” The final stage, wherein issues are resolved, is when the wife becomes an enthusiastic participant. This is what I was touching on in this post where I explored the concept of being equally invested.

How long does this take? That is totally individual. It might be years, or maybe a few months. In some couples it may occur fairly quickly.

Kelmag’s blog, Secret Chastity Husband, seems to chart this process quite well. At first, his wife had no interest and in fact, thought that the whole idea was pretty awful. He went into stealth mode—just look at the title of his blog! But they were able to work through their issues and have gotten to what seems to be grudging acceptance. (I know kelmag reads my blog so I’m sure he’ll correct me if I have mischaracterized what he and his wife have gone through.)

I tried to apply this to Ab, me, and chastity. It didn’t entirely work but it wasn’t completely off the mark. One of the big differences was that I introduced the idea to him and—well, frankly, guys have sex on the brain, right? And if his wife brings up a sort of kinky, hot idea, isn’t the husband likely to go along? Ab was confused, at first—he’d never heard of chastity, after all—but quickly moved to the curious stage. Now he is very much an enthusiastic participant, as am I.

All of this got me thinking about other things he had expressed interest in, things I might not have been as willing to accept. I have mentioned before that Ab has a touch of cross-dresser in him—and I wasn’t all that enthusiastic. I’ve tried to analyze my reluctance and I think it’s the fact that he’s a masculine guy and I like masculine men. I had no interest him wearing a wig, make-up, or lacy, frilly women’s clothes. But it was an interest of his and I suspect he might have had some stealth moments that I wasn’t aware of. Either way, he didn’t force the issue and I didn’t bring it up.

This issue has been on my mind more in recent months. I mean, he’s got five ounces of metal screwed on his cock and balls because that’s what I want, so, perhaps I should try to be slightly more accommodating of what he wants. That was the genesis of the idea of a kilt for his birthday—manly enough for me but it’s still a skirt, which gives him that cross-dressing thrill. As a matter of fact, the kilt has been a huge success, so much so that I’m thinking of getting him another one. Not just a comfy kilt to wear around the house, but one of the “real” ones that he can wear out and about. Are you listening to me, Ab? 🙂

He likes wearing the kilt and it makes him happy, so I began to think about another item of clothing that would be manly enough for me and womanly enough to tickle his fetish bone. He off-handedly mentioned having a maid’s outfit for when he does chores around the house. I certainly wasn’t into a black satin thing with layers of petticoats (what maid really dresses like that, anyway?) but something utilitarian would be fine. Once again, Amazon is my friend. I ordered up the housekeeping dress pictured above. It fits well and looks quite nice on him, actually. And when he puts it on, he moves into full housekeeper mode: today he cleaned the house from top to bottom, fixed the drain on the sink, figured out what’s wrong with the broken dishwasher (and we ordered up the necessary part), cooked me a delicious lunch (homemade tomato soup with cheddar-sausage balls on the side) and has a delicious dinner (braised short ribs) bubbling away in the crockpot. Oh, and he washed the dishes because the dishwasher is kaput at the moment.

All this because of a $35 dress? I should have bought one years ago. Oh well, live and learn.

As I was puzzling this out, I read this blog post from Celtic Queen and had an “A-ha!” moment. Sexualizing or eroticizing the mundane. As I said above, guys have sex on the brain. As Celtic Queen discovered, and now I have too, we can use this to our advantage.

To women out there who might be resisting chastity, for whatever reason: try to get over that GGG hump and let your man enjoy it. You may end up with a clean house in the process.

Introducing the Abuddy February 11, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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The other day I was browsing the Cane-iac website, pondering buying a cane or flogger, when I came across the “spanking buddy” pictured to the left. That looked like a fun little item to add to the toy chest. But here in the Devoted Lover Research Labs, there is no need to spend money on something made of wood—all I need to do is put in a work order to the production office and a prototype magically appears. Sometimes I am amazed at just how quickly the prototype shows up! Below are two pictures of me modeling the “Abuddy” (get it? LOL). The Abuddy is made of cherry, not maple or oak, and is 10 mm thick. Ten millimeters is about 3/8″ of an inch, so slightly less than the ½” spanking buddy at the Cane-iac site. I wonder if the thickness was selected thinking of my delicate, feminine hand or was somebody worried about his backside and just how much fun I might have with the Abuddy in place? Hmmm…

It has a very nice elastic strap held in place by six brass tacks—three on each side. Elastic is not kept in stock at the shop, thus I was impressed that Ab made a special trip to JoAnn Fabrics—a store he does not usually frequent—to buy some. Is it his enthusiasm for prototype designing or the dream of being spanked that drives him? Probably a little of both.

I noticed that the tacks seem like they could easily be removed and during a vigorous workout of the Abuddy and this could be problematic, so I am going to apply some SuperGlue to hold them in place. We’ll see if that does the trick.

I suggested to Ab that I needed one for my left hand, too, for some dual-handed spanking action. He gave me his usual anxious look but I suspect a sinistra Abuddy will appear, to be a companion to my dextra. Then I’ll have a matched set.

* * * * *

I am still trying to sort out in my mind my growing interest in spanking—and Ab’s growing desire. I really don’t think he’s a “pain slut,” as mikecb would say, and I know I am not a sadist. I am also not viewing it as punishment or domestic discipline or some other method of “retraining” Ab. We seem to be coming at this from a completely different mindset of wants and needs. As I was thinking about this, I read this blog post from servingB which seems to touch on what we are feeling. Thanks, sB, for expressing it so eloquently.

* * * * *

I have a little touch of cystitis, I am sure as a result of all our fun and games on Tuesday. “Honeymoon” cystitis as my mother used to say. This is a problem I’ve had all my life and I’m used to it. I can clear it up naturally by drinking a few gallons of water and cranberry juice. I also just took 180 mg of cranberry in capsule form. While I know I’ll be fine, it does make me a little pussy-shy at the moment (hands off, Ab!) which is even more reason to put some spanking fun on the agenda. Ab, are you ready? 😉

Let’s Talk About Hair… February 5, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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…of the pubic type.

The other day, regular commenter Wilson posted a link to this blog post, which I quite liked. I know it was in response to an earlier comment of his where he said he hates the current fad of “bare pudendas.” I replied that on that issue, we’d have to agree to disagree.

Actually, I don’t completely disagree—I am mostly neutral on the topic. Reading some of the comments from the blog, the author came to the conclusion:

If there is one thing you glean from this list of comments it’s that men and women alike fucking hate pubic hair with a passion. According to this slice of society pubic hair is equated with gross.

With all that passion I felt bad that I was not more passionate!

As I have mentioned before, I grew up in the dark ages and conversations about pubic hair—and trimming it—were just not things that came up. Ever. I assumed everyone—male and female—had a bush and that was it. My sexual escapades in college confirmed that my assumption was true.

Three weeks after we were married, Ab and I had a wild and crazy night and did things that neither of us had done before. Since we didn’t own any sex toys it was a night filled with pervertibles; one of those was a razor. He shaved off all my pubic hair which was a first for me—up until that time I had never even trimmed it, much less shaved it off! It was incredibly hot when he did it and I loved the feeling of being all smooth. Of course, the next morning when we woke up, slightly hungover, I was consumed with “Oh my God, what did we do? I am such a bad girl!” Nature reinforced that I was a bad girl since it itched like hell over the next few weeks while it was growing back in.

That was probably the first hint that we both have a bit of a shaving fetish, but it wasn’t really a driving force for either of us. Occasionally we’d get wound up and he’d do me but that was about it.

Looking at that picture of Sasha Grey—she’s got beautiful dark hair and a beautiful bush to match (and, if you look closely, it’s obvious she’s trimmed. She’s not completely au naturel.). If my pussy hair looked like that, I might want to hold onto it, too. But the hair on my head is blonde (chemically assisted these days, but, whatever) and my pussy hair was sort of mousy brown. It was not particularly attractive so that contributed to my take it or leave it attitude.

(You know whose crotch I’d like to see? Prince Harry. I bet he has gorgeous red pubes!)

Ab is not a particularly hairy guy and somewhere along the line it hit me that his chest hair—the few little whiffs that he had—wasn’t very alluring. I suggested he shave it off and frankly, on his chest he does look better smooth. He got the idea for shaving his pubes when we started going to naturist resorts and he saw other guys sporting the smooth look. Again—if he had a fabulous dark treasure trail leading to unknown mysteries beneath his fly, I might have been sad about the razor. But he didn’t and being smooth adds to his twink look—which both of us like. It’s been so many years that he’s been a smoothie, I’ve actually forgotten what his pubic hair looks like.

As for me, I’m mostly smooth, too, but it’s not because I hate the smell, look, feel, or texture of pubic hair. I think it’s mostly that every time he shaves me, it brings back the memory of that night when we were very, very young and very, very naughty. 🙂


Early Porn Memories January 21, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: , , , ,

Not from the Sears Catalog, but a hunky guy in undies, nonetheless!

Over on the Chastity Forum, mikecb posted a link to an article from CNN which sparked an interesting discussion about porn and masturbation. I particularly liked this comment from Red:

Back when I was in my teens, the only way to get porn was to go into a shop and buy it – either that, or mail order. Both ways involved some effort and potential embarrassment, and of course cost money.

That may be true, but for those of us who realized we liked looking at pictures of half-nekkid men and women well before our teens—we weren’t in any position to go into a shop and buy porn because: a) we were too young; b) we didn’t know where the shops were (and had no way to get there even if we did); and c) we didn’t have any money. So what was an eight year old perv to do? Turn to the Sears Catalog, of course!

The Sears Catalog arrived at our house three times a year: spring/summer, fall/winter and the Christmas Catalog, dubbed the Wish Book in 1968. You could buy just about anything from the catalog, ranging from adding machines to xylophones. Many pages were devoted to men’s and women’s underwear, fueling early fantasies in our fevered brains.

Classic, from the 1966 Christmas Catalog

I remember looking at both the pictures of men and women—maybe the women had a slight edge. All those foundation garments and girdles and bras—I didn’t know hot or sexy but they certainly caused a stirring in my mind. The men I remember being more bland and posed. A possible reason? I came across this tidbit from a former Sears underwear model:

There is a reason that the male models in the print ads appear to be eunuchs. All male underwear models were required to wear dance belts under the briefs or shorts being modeled. When worn, this impossibly snug garment obscured any bulge the model possessed. It was very uncomfortable, and it rigidly controlled the genitalia. The photographers were instructed that not a “dimple was to be seen.”

Apparently there was a scandal in 1975 where something was peeking out of a pair of boxer shorts. The head of the guy’s penis or a blemish? Conclusions are inconclusive although Sears denies that it is a penis. A spokesperson says it is “a blemish introduced during the reproduction process.” I wasn’t aware of this until today—by 1975 my Sears underwear gazing days were long over. But clearly, I was not the only person out there carefully scrutinizing the underwear ads. The picture above is from the 1971 catalog which was also a little past my prime—I had a boyfriend by then. The real thing was so much better—although he never wore any goldenrod matched sets. ‘Tis a pity.

What fun!

Another book I furtively studied for hours was entitled The Importance of Wearing Clothes by Lawrence Langner. It had a chapter—complete with pictures—on nudism. Oh, how I loved to look at those happy people frolicking in the woods and fields! When Ab and I started discussing naturism (nudism) I realized this was a very long-held fantasy for me. Chastity popped into my head overnight, but naturism went back decades. It was a dream that was finally realized in 1998. What a great day that was!

As for porn movies, I have a memory of going to see Deep Throat at the theater with my boyfriend although details are fuzzy. Reading up on the film, I see that it came out in 1972, which would have been my senior year in high school. He was away at college so maybe we went together when he was home on break? Thanksgiving or Christmas? Either way, it obviously didn’t make much of an impact.

The one movie I do remember clearly is The Story of O which came out in 1975. I went to see it on a date with some guy I met at a frat party—I have absolutely no memory of his name. He invited me to “the movies” not specifying what we’d see. On one hand I remember being entranced by the movie: whips, chains, the scene near the end with O at the ball, naked except for her mask—it was unbelievably erotic. On the other hand I was royally pissed at my date, springing this on me without warning! Clearly his ulterior motive was to get me completely turned on and then seduce me. It didn’t work, though, because there was something about him that just didn’t click for me. He was very angry and that was—wisely, I realize, thinking back—the end of that romance.

A few years later I found a copy of the book on the shelf at a friend’s house. I read it in one afternoon, furtively, I suspect because I still harbored the thought that “good girls don’t read stuff like this.”

And maybe that is an advantage of the Internet as “the great porn equalizer.” By making porn as common as grass, we’ve realized that it is a pretty universal activity for men and women to look at and enjoy porn. I’ve realized I like erotic stories and pictures of men (probably not all that porny, as things go, but they fuel my imagination). Ab tends to like stories, too. But having so much available at our fingertips…some days I long for the simplicity of shapely derrières in the Sears catalog.