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Happy Homecomings March 8, 2012

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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The Navy…

The Marines…

And the Navy again. Now just waiting on the Army and Air Force.

Apparently, the New York Times refused to publish any of these photos.

Cue the Moms in 3…2…1… March 7, 2012

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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I swear, you can’t make this stuff up. Apparently, Sears has been selling a tee-shirt that proclaimed loudly and proudly, “I❤ Butt Plugs.” (As you can see from the picture, there is a picture of a heart on the tee, but I couldn’t figure out how to make one in this post.) Maybe they figured that if J.C. Penney is going after the LGBTQ market with Ellen DeGeneres as their spokesperson, Sears could capitalize on kinky folks as their niche.

Think of it: “Honey, I’m going to the mall to buy some dog food.”

“Oh great, while you’re there, do you think you can stop by Sears and pick up a butt plug? And maybe a ball gag?”

“Sure thing, sweetie. You want that butt plug in silicone or surgical grade stainless steel?”

Alas, their corporate transformation to the Stockroom of the Mall was short-lived. The shirts are gone, although you can still do a Google search as proof of their existence.

I was curious if the Moms were up in arms about this, so I checked in at the One Million Wackadoodles site. No mention of Sears. They are bleating about some TV show that they consider blasphemous. Apparently the first episode included a reference to “oral s*x.” (Yes, that’s the way they wrote it. When did sex become a dirty word?) It’s probably a good thing they didn’t see Sears’ butt plug tee-shirts. They would’ve had a collective stroke.

I have to admit, even though I’m a bold and kinky chick, I’m not sure I would’ve worn that shirt in public (notice that it comes in both men’s and women’s sizes). Maybe I could’ve sent Ab out in one though…complete with butt plug in place.:-)

Archie Update: Issue 16, with Kevin Keller’s wedding on the cover has completely sold out and is now going for $50 and up on eBay. No mention on the Moms website about the success (or lack thereof) of their boycott effort.

More on Sears: As I was typing this I reminded myself of this post when I reminisced about looking at “dirty pictures” in the Sears Catalog. Back in 1975 there was a scandal when “something” was peeking out of a pair of boxers. Was that something a penis? Now they are selling butt plug tee shirts. Not sure what that says about Sears or our cultural evolution, but it sure is good for a laugh.

I’m Going to Try… March 1, 2012

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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to get back to more regular posting. I enjoy writing this blog and I really enjoy the comments and discussions I get into with my readers. The breaks I’ve taken over the past 6-8 months–they’ve been partly work driven (dealing with a big crisis that has consumed way too many hours/days/weeks of my life), but also because I was feeling a little bit tapped out on only writing about chastity. Chastity is fun and Ab and I still enjoy it, but we got to the point, at about the one year mark (August 2011) that there wasn’t a whole lot more to say. Chastity has just become part of our life. Ab wears his device more often than not; I get lots of orgasms although I haven’t thrown a coin in the orgasm glass in ages. Life is good.

Thinking about what I write here, I could’ve gone down the path of turning this into a fantasy sex blog but since that’s not how I started, I think making that switch would’ve been dishonest to my readers. On top of which, I am not sure I’m that creative to dream up all that stuff on my own.:-)

Instead, I probably start blogging a bit more on social issues that interest/concern me. Looking at the last few posts, I’ve already started going down that path. And, I suspect those social issues will have a sexy flavor because those are the things that catch my eye.:-)

Anyway, that’s my thought for the moment on this snowy first day of March. I welcome your comments. And, believe you me, if I have something to post about chastity, I will!

One Million Wackadoodles February 29, 2012

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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There’s a group out there called “One Million Moms” but you can see from my title above what I really think they should be called. The Moms have banded together to protect all of us, especially our children, from the filth that is invading American society–filth such as “immorality, violence, vulgarity and profanity.” Their strategy is to identify this loathsome stuff and then begin a letter writing campaign, usually accompanied by a boycott.

The OMM (and it should be noted, they are about 957K members short of their stated membership goal) first came to my attention when they mounted a boycott of J.C. Penney for hiring Ellen DeGeneres as a spokesperson. Their rationale?

Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families. More sales will be lost than gained unless they replace their spokesperson quickly. Unless JC Penney decides to be neutral in the culture war then their brand transformation will be unsuccessful.

That campaign didn’t go quite the way they expected. Instead of getting Ellen fired, she has been firmly supported by the store. Ellen went on her show and spoke of their support, saying,  “They [One Million Moms] wanted to get me fired and I am proud and happy to say that J.C. Penney stuck by their decision to make me their spokesperson.” You can see the video clip here. A fan started a Facebook page, One Million People Who Support Ellen for J.C. Penney, which right now has 194K likes.

Next those silly Moms decided to go after Archie because the latest issue features “a same sex wedding on the cover.” Now, interestingly, the Moms didn’t tell people not to buy the comic, but rather, to boycott Toys ‘R’ Us because they are selling the comic “openly” (? not sure how you sell a comic any other way, but whatever) at the front near the cash registers. Again, their rationale for this:

 Unfortunately, children are now being exposed to same-sex marriage in a toy store. This is the last place a parent would expect to be confronted with questions from their children on topics that are too complicated for them to understand. Issues of this nature are being introduced too early and too soon, which is becoming extremely common and unnecessary.

I went home and told Ab about this and he looked at me like I was crazy. “Dev,” he said, “if I was going to buy a comic book, the last place I would consider going to is Toys ‘R’ Us.” Good point, Ab.

Meanwhile, the CEO of Archie comics, John Goldwater, stands by the issue and characters, issuing this statement:

We stand by Life with Archie #16. As I’ve said before, Riverdale is a safe, welcoming place that does not judge anyone. It’s an idealized version of America that will hopefully become reality someday. We’re sorry the American Family Association/OneMillionMoms.com feels so negatively about our product, but they have every right to their opinion, just like we have the right to stand by ours. Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people.

Now, I should point out something about how the comic is distributed. Even though this is the February 15th issue, it has been on the newstand since January 15th. The March 15th issue began distribution on February 15th. What do you want to bet those silly Moms will take credit for their boycott being effective and claim that the comic was removed at their behest?

Just when I thought they couldn’t get any wackier, they decided to go after Liquid-Plumr because Clorox (parent company of L-P) has created an ad with “two sexy plumbers.”  And boy, are the Moms indiginant: “They are attempting to use sex to sell a product to unclog drains!” Gasp! The horror!

God forbid they point a link to the ad so someone could watch it and make up her mind about its inappropriateness–rather, they write a second-by-second description of what goes on:

The commercial starts off with a woman in a supermarket daydreaming about what this new Liquid-Plumr product has to offer. She says, “Double impact,” twice as she reads the bottle. In her dream she is at home and answers the door to find a sexy plumber. The plumber is nice looking with huge biceps and a tight shirt. He says, “I’m here to snake your drain.” She says come on in and he walks upstairs. The doorbell rings again and it is a second sexy plumber. He says, “I’m here to flush your pipe.” She answers with an okay and while he walks on upstairs she lets out a squeal and moan while letting down her hair. Then she wakes up to reality to find the two men in the supermarket. She flirts by giving sexy eyes to the one man in the deli slicing meat and the other in produce holding two melons. These two men are the same as in her dream. It may be coincidence, but the man in produce is standing beside cucumbers with a price sign behind him reading 69 cents.

Now my question is, how many times did this concerned Mom have to watch this ad to come up with this level of detail? And, as a Facebook friend pointed out, they picked up on details that would probably completely bypass the casual viewer. I certainly didn’t notice the 69 cent sign on my first, er, third, er, tenth viewing.:-)

Since I’m not shy about what’s in the ad, here’s a link:   Enjoy. The plumbers are sexy and the woman with the plugged drain is pretty cute too, in a Tina Fey sort of way.

I have to say, I wonder what on earth those Moms would think of a woman who keeps her husband locked in a chastity device and can’t remember the last time he had an orgasm. Hmmm….😉

The damn bed is leaking! December 11, 2011

Posted by Dev in Devices.
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Ab and I have a waterbed–not one of those with a big bag of water but a series of water filled cylinders. I think there are about 10 of the cylinders laying side-by-side in their foam enclosure. Every now and then, one of the cylinders springs a leak. It doesn’t cause the bed to becoming a soaking mess–it is more insidious. This morning I woke up with a damp spot beneath my hip and I just said, “Oh, noooo….”

We’ve had this style bed since 1986. This is our second mattress/tube/etc. set up. It seems that way back when they were all the rage but now the various manufacturers have all gone out of business. I used to be able to zoom to the furniture store that’s just up the road to get replacement cylinders but not anymore. Thank God for the Internet where one is able to find obscure and hard to obtain items. I found a place in Florida selling the tubes. This time–thinking ahead–I ordered three. Hopefully that will hold us for awhile.

I said to Ab that maybe we should break down and get a “regular” mattress so we wouldn’t have to deal with this sort of problem in the future. He pointed out–correctly–that that could turn into a major “mushroom factor.” Mushroom factor, you ask? You know–we get a new mattress, then realize we need a new bed, then realize we need to replace the carpet in the bedroom, then realize we need to re-paint and re-paper the walls, then realize we need to redo the electricity…

He’s right. So, the fan is blowing on the bed, trying to dry out the mattress. We’ll sleep on fewer tubes while we wait for the new ones to arrive. And perhaps, we should be less enthusiastic when it comes to sex. I knew it was that damn Sawzall that made us spring a leak!

The Kinky Kings — Redux December 11, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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I posted this last year but I thought it was worth reprising. The Kings have made another appearance on our dining room table and they are still up to their bad boy ways. Makes me wonder what they were doing while they were in storage for the past 11 months.😉

~~~

The Kinky Kings

a slightly risque photo essay by Dev

We haven’t done much in the way of Christmas decorating here in the Devoted Lover household–too busy testing Humblers and so on–but the three Kings have made an appearance on our dining room table.

We three Kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star.

They looked so innocent while they were just walking along, but I could tell, the minute they stopped to take a break
they were eyeing each other…

The King in green, who turned out to be Melchior, had a particularly devilish gleam in his eye. The minute my back was turned, he made a beeline for the black bearded one. “Got a kiss for daddy?” he purred.

The little guy was shocked–SHOCKED!–at what his two compatriots were up to and discreetly turned away. But when he heard robes rustling and positions shifting, curiosity got the better of him.

His eyes widened like saucers. “What are you…what are you…?” he stammered, hardly believing what he saw.

The black-bearded King pulled himself off the green guy’s cock for a second, and glared at the little guy. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he snapped. “Melchior and I aren’t putting on a show for you. Either join in the fun or go sit under that burning bush over there.”

“Yeah,” said Melchior. “Two kings are good, but three are better.”

The little guy didn’t need to be asked twice.

And thus the Kinky Kings were born…

Socks and Anal Hooks October 30, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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I love shopping online. In fact, some days I wonder if I am becoming agoraphobic since I avoid going in stores. I rationalize this to myself because I am busy but I wonder if something else is going on?  To be honest, I was never much of a shopper but now I find I don’t enjoy it at all. If I can buy something online, great. If not, I can do without.

Of course, I can buy just about anything my heart desires online! LOL.

This weekend represents a more-or-less normal online shopping weekend for the Devoted Lover household, ranging from the very sexy (an anal hook) to the completely banal (socks).

The anal hook first because I suspect that is what most readers are interested in. I read on jnuts blog about his wish for an anal hook and he had a link to one at Extreme Restraints. Ab and I enjoy ass play and this one caught my fancy. Saturday night, a few drinks, a little bit of “Why not?” and the credit card came out. Of course on Sunday morning I was kicking myself because I found the same damn thing on Amazon for less, plus no shipping! I could’ve saved $22 and gotten points on my credit card. Oh well, live and learn.

Sunday night and things are much more mundane at the DL household. Now I get to order socks! Actually, there is a brand of socks that Ab and I both like and he found a link (buy 3, get one 1 pair free!) so it seemed like a good deal. I hope I don’t wake up tomorrow and find the same stupid socks on Amazon. LOL.

When the anal hook arrives, I’ll post a review. I suspect most readers don’t give a shit about the socks so I won’t bother with them.

More later….

Swinging Shenanigans in Southern Maine October 29, 2011

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Isn't this the kinkiest place you've ever seen?

The paper has been all a-buzz this week with front page stories four days in a row–with two on Thursday–about swinger parties being held at a function hall in Sanford, Maine. Gasp! Can you imagine? Sex acts, people in the nude, doing God knows what near the food! It seems like the food was the most problematic issue, at least for some people. LOL.

Here are links to the various stories:

Sanford Orders Caterer to Stop Sex Parties at Banquet Hall (Tuesday)

Caterer Promises to Stop Sanford Sex Parties (Wednesday)

Caterer Tells Town Sex Parties Will Stop (Thursday)

Sex Parties Cause Banquet Hall Patrons to Flee (Thursday)

Fundraiser Moved Out of Sex Party Site (Friday)

Another view of the place where all kinds of kinky shit was going on!

It’s nice to know that the police and town officials are “keeping me safe” by imposing their Puritanical views on me (and everyone else) and assuming that we’d all be as appalled as they are about the notion of swinger parties behind held at night, behind closed doors, in a private venue. Guess what? I’m more appalled at their assumptions that I’d have a problem with this.

You’ve got to wonder how people’s minds work, though. Consider the following tidbit, published on Thursday.

Town officials are so concerned that residents may be offended at the prospect of voting where sex parties occurred that they are directing Ward 7 voters to cast ballots Nov. 8 at the Ward 3 polling place, at the St. Ignatius Gym on Riverside Avenue.

“Not knowing what might be present or how clean the hall might be, we moved the polling place in case anyone might be uncomfortable voting there,” said Town Clerk Sue Cote.

Seriously? Exactly what might be present? Cooties? A used condom? (Gasp!!). I imagine that the owners have a cleaning crew that comes in and knows how to wield a mop and squeegee. I would also hazard a guess that the place is more of a wreck after a wedding or raucous family reunion than it is after a swinger party.

Careful readers will note that the police and town officials fall back on their tried and true canard that it would never be the good people of Maine who would engage in such lascivious activities–of course it is folks from away, specifically Massachusetts. The police used their very best detective skills to ferret out that bit of evidence by looking at the license plates of the cars in the parking lot. They “all” were from Massachusetts. Again, seriously? Every last one? No horny kinky folks from New Hampshire? Or Maine? LOL.

Dan Savage had a very funny headline in his blog which I just had to share with you:

People Who Live In Massachusetts Are Big Fucking Sex Crazed Slut Monsters and Their Creepy Erections, Slutty Vaginas, Freaky Accents, and Parked Cars Are Totally Grossing Out the Good People of Sanford, Maine

You can read the whole thing here.

As someone said in the comments, I so hope that Jon Stewart picks this one up.:-)

What’s the Best Time to Have Sex? July 20, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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Regular readers of this blog know that Ab and I tend to enjoy sex in the early morning. I don’t know if it’s a function of age or what, but I usually feel so exhausted in the evening that I am often not in the mood. Even when we do like to fool around at night, I find it difficult to have an orgasm–maybe I’m thinking too much about falling asleep and not able to relax! Either way, I thought this press release that came across my desk was interesting.

~~

HILLSBOROUGH, N.C., July 19, 2011 /PRNewswire/ — Adam & Eve and AdamAndEve.com, (http://adamandeve.com/news), America’s most trusted source for adult products, are back with the latest results from their Great American Sex Survey. This time, they’ve asked what time of day adults prefer to have sex.

Not surprisingly, most adults (52%) prefer to have sex during evening hours, followed by late night (47%), morning (33%) and afternoon (21%). What is interesting is that even though these are the preferred times to make love, the respondents said they actually have sex mostly during late night hours (48%), followed by evening (45%), morning (26%) and afternoon (13%).

Dr. Kat Van Kirk, Adam & Eve’s resident sex expert, attributes this differentiation between “preferring” and “doing” to the realities of daily life. Dr. Kat says, “If we were to examine our natural biorhythms, hormonally our highest time for arousal is early morning for men and afternoon for women. Unfortunately, sometimes people have sex because of their schedules… not when their bodies are actually most receptive.”

“Adam & Eve has a large line of products to help couples get in the mood for sex,” says Chad Davis, Marketing Director for Adam & Eve. “From sensual lubricants to romantic games, we offer a huge variety of items to enhance the lovemaking experience for both partners.”

The web-based survey, conducted by an independent third party survey company, of over 1,000 American adults age 18 and up, was sponsored by Adam & Eve to study sexual preferences and practices. “Sex Chat with Dr. Kat” can be found on podcasts through iTunes or www.drkat.com.

For more information about Adam & Eve, visit their website at http://www.adamandeve.com/news. For additional information on Adam & Eve, please contact Adam & Eve Director of Public Relations Katy Zvolerin at 919.644.8100 x 3121 or katy@adameve.com.

The Oneida Community: Chaste and Happy in the 1860s June 11, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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I am listening to Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell which is very entertaining as well as funny, and came across an interesting tidbit about the Oneida Community which existed in upstate New York from 1849 to 1879. It was a religious community, with utopian ideals–not terribly unusual for that time. It was started by John Humphrey Noyes, a Vermonter who attended Dartmouth, Andover, and the Yale Divinity School.

The thing that caught my attention was the doctrine of “male continence,” or, having sexual intercourse without ejaculation. Noyes was no dummy–he was a college graduate, after all. He realized that if you had sex with a woman and ejaculated, she could very likely become pregnant. His wife had five difficult pregnancies and four of the children died in childbirth so he really didn’t want to put her through that again. But he also realized that sex was fun and he didn’t want to give it up completely. So what to do? How about, hold back the seed? Of course, he couched all this in religious terms but we chaste folks know what “no coming” really is.

They also believed in equality of the sexes and for the women this was very advantageous, especially in the sex department, because, guess what? Women were supposed to have as much fun as men! In Dev-speak, this would be the principle of “My pleasure is your pleasure.” In other words, when the man was busy not coming, he was also busy making sure the woman had an orgasm or two. Works for me!

John Humphrey Noyes

A third principle was that of Complex Marriage, which when translated into modern terms would be equivalent to “open marriage.” That is, sex with a person not your spouse was okay. They had an interesting way of operationalizing this, however. Remember that the men needed to learn “male continence” and for young men, this could take considerable time and effort to learn how to do it properly. If they were busy having sex with young, fertile women the risk of pregnancy was high. So, instead, they had them go and refine their technique with the older, post-menopausal women (the “Oneida cougars”? LOL) where the chance of pregnancy was nil. Likewise, the older guys who were continent-proficient had sex with the young women to teach them all about being multi-orgasmic.

We’ll just turn our heads on the fact that all this teaching and initiation stuff began when the young people were about 14…it was the old days, after all.

Not surprisingly, male continence was effective as a community-wide method of birth control. In a 20 year period, out of a community of 250 people, only 40 children were born.

Like all utopian societies, this one eventually fizzled, mostly because Noyes’ son, an agnostic, wasn’t interested in continuing his father’s religious beliefs. And somehow or another, for reasons that Vowell did not completely explain, they got into making dishes and flatware, an industry that continues to this day.

* * * * *

I didn’t intend to take a five week sabbatical from posting here, but May turned into a month that was completely out of my control. Things are slowly getting back on track and I am looking forward to sharing my thoughts again, on a regular basis. Thanks to everyone who wrote me privately to ask if Ab and I were okay. Yes, we are and we appreciate your support and kindness. Thanks and hugs to all!

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