the key is on my nipple ring

Naturism and Orgasm Denial September 17, 2010

I posted the other day about what I perceived as a few parallels between naturism (nudism) and male chastity, including: 1) an interest in naturism is usually a long-term fantasy of one of the partners; 2) it requires having a conversation to get involved; 3) it is best enjoyed as a couple with a willing partner; 4) it is a lifestyle that might be perceived as bizarre or odd to those who are on the outside, but for the participants, it is very sane, normal, and quite enjoyable. I don’t think any naturists would argue these four points with me. But I can hear my naturists friends getting up in arms about the following comment: naturists practice a form of orgasm denial. In fact, even though they are loathe to admit it, there is a lot of sexuality mixed in with naturism; I think that it is this refusal to accept (and embrace) the obvious that causes many problems for individual naturists and in the larger naturist movement.

A foundational principle—in fact, the foundational principle—of naturism is that it is non-sexual nudity. No matter what you read, this is the very first thing trotted out and emphasized in bold, CAPITAL letters. It’s the mantra of the movement.

Bullshit.

Think about it for a minute. Do you really think living, breathing, red-blooded adults can spend a day, evening, or week naked with other living, breathing, red-blooded adults and not think about sex? Seriously?

What naturism is is nudity in which sexual urges are contained and controlled, so that the participants behave in appropriate and acceptable ways in a public venue. In other words, no fucking on the beach (or next to the pool). And while we’re at it, no fondling, caressing, or massaging, either of self or others. Loving glances are okay and maybe a chaste kiss or two.

I don’t have a problem with these rules. I don’t think I’d particularly enjoy lounging under my beach umbrella while the couple on the next blanket over are going at it like rabbits. Nor does the idea of having public sex with my husband turn me on. Believe it or not, I am not an exhibitionist. (That just made me think of another chastity/naturism parallel: just like some believe that all men who are interested in chastity are submissives, many believe that all naturists are exhibitionists. I don’t think either statement is true.)

Back to being sentient human beings: I think it is only natural that if you spend a day nude, at the beach or wherever, with your beloved life partner at your side (also nude), you will come to the realization that it is a very sensual experience. The warm sun on your skin, the sound of the ocean, getting wet and then the tingly feeling as the salty water dries on your skin…realizing that you are as horny as hell and you can’t do a damn thing about it until you get somewhere private…

Many newbie naturists comment that after their first social nude experience, they go home and have the most mind-blowing sex of their entire life. And why not? You’ve been building towards it all day long. It’s sort of like male chastity on speed. Instead of spending days, weeks, or months locked in a chastity device, you spend one day at the beach. It’s a day long tease and denial session, done in a totally non-physical way.

Here’s a thought: spend a day at the nude beach, then come home and lock your loved one up in his CB or Jailbird or whatever. Gack! It’s enough to make a grown man (or woman) cry. LOL.

Naturists would deny that any of what I have written above is true—they would maintain their stance that nudism is non-sexual. But I would counter that with the following evidence. What is the number one question that someone exploring naturism asks? (Any guesses?)

Here it is: What happens if I get an erection?

The naturists always answer: “You won’t.” But then they add the caveat, “But if you do, just roll over on your towel and think about something else…like a cold shower. That should take care of the problem.”

The thing is, it’s not that men don’t have erections but rather, that they don’t allow themselves to have an erection. And to me, that is a chastity principle. In fact, I suspect that many men who are interested in chastity actually practice “mental chastity” as a prelude to getting a device. The device makes it easier, of course, and it also a visible sign (and reminder) of what a person is trying to accomplish. And as I have mentioned before, I think it’s pretty freaking hot, which feeds back into the sensual/sexual domain of chastity. Controlling erections without a device feeds into the sensual/sexual domain of naturism—the domain that allegedly doesn’t exist. See why I call that bullshit?

It was this denial of sexuality that caused some of my frustration with naturism, particularly at clubs. They tended to have so many rules that were all designed to dis-allow expressions of sexual/sensual feelings. One club we went to (the one to which I shall never return) said that no one could apply suntan lotion to another person; you could only put it on yourself. In fact, they had this little gizmo that you could buy that would allow you to rub suntan lotion onto your own back. How freaking stupid is that? I always maintained that naturists should have one rule, and one rule only: Behave like a responsible, mature adult and don’t do anything that you or others might find objectionable in terms of personal behavior. Instead of trying to deny sexuality, accept it for what it is and then ask people to be chaste. Problem solved.

For the record, I never saw a man wearing a chastity device at a nude venue. I did see plenty of piercings, however, as well as cocks of every size, shape, and color. And…I’ll let you in on a little secret. I did see a few erections—and not just on my husband. 😉