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Talk Dirty to Me, Sweetheart September 22, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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6 comments

I have come to the realization that Ab doesn’t talk much during sex. All these years and I am just figuring this out? I guess some things just become more noticeable when you’re not having intercourse. Over the past few weeks, we’ve been pulling a lot of tricks out of our sexual toy bag as we find find new (and old) ways to please and enjoy each other. In fact, last night that old standby, a back massage, made an appearance. It was very nice. But through all this, Ab is mostly silent and I am thinking a little bit of dirty talk might help spice things up a bit.

Ab usually gets up once a night to pee and inevitably, he wakes me up. In the old days (pre-chastity) I’d pretend I was asleep even when I wasn’t. Now, because we both have lots of sexual hormones thrumming through our veins all the time, when he comes back to bed we roll into each other. He reaches for my breast, I squeeze his nipple. His hands drift down my body, caressing a hip, playing with my pussy, fingering my clit. I reach for his balls, feeling them heavy and engorged in my hand, knowing his cock is straining against its plastic confinement.

“I am so looking forward to having you fuck me,” I whisper. “I want to feel your cock inside me again.”

Silence.

“All hard and firm and buried deep in me…” I squirm a little. “I can feel you thrusting…”

More silence.

“And when you come you’ll squirt buckets and buckets and maybe even squirt a little on me. What do you think of that?”

“Hmmm….”

Talk dirty to me, sweetheart. You can do it.

* * * * *

Last night I asked Ab if he had any interest in posting on the blog, or wanted to suggest topics for me to write about. He politely declined. “I think your blog is terrific,” he said. “I am reading it every day or almost every day…you write well, you have a lot of great stuff.” He paused. “But…it’s a little bit like watching a show about me. I’m the star but I’m not starring in the show. I’m sitting in the audience and watching. I think,” he added, “that if I started posting, I would change the dynamic, and I don’t want to do that.”

Okay. Fair enough.

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Naturism and Orgasm Denial September 17, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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6 comments

I posted the other day about what I perceived as a few parallels between naturism (nudism) and male chastity, including: 1) an interest in naturism is usually a long-term fantasy of one of the partners; 2) it requires having a conversation to get involved; 3) it is best enjoyed as a couple with a willing partner; 4) it is a lifestyle that might be perceived as bizarre or odd to those who are on the outside, but for the participants, it is very sane, normal, and quite enjoyable. I don’t think any naturists would argue these four points with me. But I can hear my naturists friends getting up in arms about the following comment: naturists practice a form of orgasm denial. In fact, even though they are loathe to admit it, there is a lot of sexuality mixed in with naturism; I think that it is this refusal to accept (and embrace) the obvious that causes many problems for individual naturists and in the larger naturist movement.

A foundational principle—in fact, the foundational principle—of naturism is that it is non-sexual nudity. No matter what you read, this is the very first thing trotted out and emphasized in bold, CAPITAL letters. It’s the mantra of the movement.

Bullshit.

Think about it for a minute. Do you really think living, breathing, red-blooded adults can spend a day, evening, or week naked with other living, breathing, red-blooded adults and not think about sex? Seriously?

What naturism is is nudity in which sexual urges are contained and controlled, so that the participants behave in appropriate and acceptable ways in a public venue. In other words, no fucking on the beach (or next to the pool). And while we’re at it, no fondling, caressing, or massaging, either of self or others. Loving glances are okay and maybe a chaste kiss or two.

I don’t have a problem with these rules. I don’t think I’d particularly enjoy lounging under my beach umbrella while the couple on the next blanket over are going at it like rabbits. Nor does the idea of having public sex with my husband turn me on. Believe it or not, I am not an exhibitionist. (That just made me think of another chastity/naturism parallel: just like some believe that all men who are interested in chastity are submissives, many believe that all naturists are exhibitionists. I don’t think either statement is true.)

Back to being sentient human beings: I think it is only natural that if you spend a day nude, at the beach or wherever, with your beloved life partner at your side (also nude), you will come to the realization that it is a very sensual experience. The warm sun on your skin, the sound of the ocean, getting wet and then the tingly feeling as the salty water dries on your skin…realizing that you are as horny as hell and you can’t do a damn thing about it until you get somewhere private…

Many newbie naturists comment that after their first social nude experience, they go home and have the most mind-blowing sex of their entire life. And why not? You’ve been building towards it all day long. It’s sort of like male chastity on speed. Instead of spending days, weeks, or months locked in a chastity device, you spend one day at the beach. It’s a day long tease and denial session, done in a totally non-physical way.

Here’s a thought: spend a day at the nude beach, then come home and lock your loved one up in his CB or Jailbird or whatever. Gack! It’s enough to make a grown man (or woman) cry. LOL.

Naturists would deny that any of what I have written above is true—they would maintain their stance that nudism is non-sexual. But I would counter that with the following evidence. What is the number one question that someone exploring naturism asks? (Any guesses?)

Here it is: What happens if I get an erection?

The naturists always answer: “You won’t.” But then they add the caveat, “But if you do, just roll over on your towel and think about something else…like a cold shower. That should take care of the problem.”

The thing is, it’s not that men don’t have erections but rather, that they don’t allow themselves to have an erection. And to me, that is a chastity principle. In fact, I suspect that many men who are interested in chastity actually practice “mental chastity” as a prelude to getting a device. The device makes it easier, of course, and it also a visible sign (and reminder) of what a person is trying to accomplish. And as I have mentioned before, I think it’s pretty freaking hot, which feeds back into the sensual/sexual domain of chastity. Controlling erections without a device feeds into the sensual/sexual domain of naturism—the domain that allegedly doesn’t exist. See why I call that bullshit?

It was this denial of sexuality that caused some of my frustration with naturism, particularly at clubs. They tended to have so many rules that were all designed to dis-allow expressions of sexual/sensual feelings. One club we went to (the one to which I shall never return) said that no one could apply suntan lotion to another person; you could only put it on yourself. In fact, they had this little gizmo that you could buy that would allow you to rub suntan lotion onto your own back. How freaking stupid is that? I always maintained that naturists should have one rule, and one rule only: Behave like a responsible, mature adult and don’t do anything that you or others might find objectionable in terms of personal behavior. Instead of trying to deny sexuality, accept it for what it is and then ask people to be chaste. Problem solved.

For the record, I never saw a man wearing a chastity device at a nude venue. I did see plenty of piercings, however, as well as cocks of every size, shape, and color. And…I’ll let you in on a little secret. I did see a few erections—and not just on my husband. 😉

The First Night August 28, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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2 comments

Like I said, Ab met me in the driveway with the news that he locked himself into the Birdcage about five hours prior. Of course, I was full of all sorts of questions, which he was very happy to answer because, yeah, this is a new experience for both of us and it was seriously turning us both on. So very cool.

“I got out of the shower,” says Ab, “and just couldn’t wait.” He gave me a sheepish smile. “I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course it is,” I replied. “It gave you a few hours to get used to it. So…” I ventured. “Any thought of taking it off?”

He shook his head. “No. I like the way it feels. It’s kind of pulling on my balls and it’s…hot.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “And did this hot feeling start immediately?”

“It sure did…and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t masturbate and I didn’t want to look at porn but I was feeling all horny and restless…”

“So what did you do?” I asked.

“Cleaned the house…”

Cleaned the house…oh my. Such a good use for excess energy!

We talked all through dinner and all this talk about cocks and cages had us both panting, so as soon as the dishes were cleaned up, we were dashing for the bedroom.

“What can I do for you, my love?” said my sweet husband, pausing by the side of the bed.

It suddenly hit me…here we are, horny as hell, and no fucking! A world of possibilities opened before me.

“Um,” I said, a little tentative. “A pussy shave?”

(A little aside here…I love having a smooth pussy and I love having it shaved, but I don’t like to do it myself, since it is hard to see what I am doing and I always miss spots. I tried having it waxed, once, but that was a disaster as several of the hairs became ingrown—I ended up with a mass of very painful, little red bumps that took almost a year to resolve. Sigh…).

“Sure,” says Ab. “That sounds like a great idea.” He scurried off to get the supplies and I got comfy, thinking to myself that there was a reason I had bought the giant 3 pak of Edge gel at Sam’s Club a few days before, even though I didn’t know the reason at the time. 🙂

I got a nice, long, slow, sensuous shave, followed by a nice pussy massage with our favorite almond oil. That progressed to a nice breast worshipping session (my husband loves my breasts—I’ll write more about that at another time). Then—after all that—the vibrator came out and ah, bliss…an orgasm for me. We fell asleep snuggling and cuddling.

A girl could get used to this…