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One Million Wackadoodles February 29, 2012

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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There’s a group out there called “One Million Moms” but you can see from my title above what I really think they should be called. The Moms have banded together to protect all of us, especially our children, from the filth that is invading American society–filth such as “immorality, violence, vulgarity and profanity.” Their strategy is to identify this loathsome stuff and then begin a letter writing campaign, usually accompanied by a boycott.

The OMM (and it should be noted, they are about 957K members short of their stated membership goal) first came to my attention when they mounted a boycott of J.C. Penney for hiring Ellen DeGeneres as a spokesperson. Their rationale?

Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families. More sales will be lost than gained unless they replace their spokesperson quickly. Unless JC Penney decides to be neutral in the culture war then their brand transformation will be unsuccessful.

That campaign didn’t go quite the way they expected. Instead of getting Ellen fired, she has been firmly supported by the store. Ellen went on her show and spoke of their support, saying,  “They [One Million Moms] wanted to get me fired and I am proud and happy to say that J.C. Penney stuck by their decision to make me their spokesperson.” You can see the video clip here. A fan started a Facebook page, One Million People Who Support Ellen for J.C. Penney, which right now has 194K likes.

Next those silly Moms decided to go after Archie because the latest issue features “a same sex wedding on the cover.” Now, interestingly, the Moms didn’t tell people not to buy the comic, but rather, to boycott Toys ‘R’ Us because they are selling the comic “openly” (? not sure how you sell a comic any other way, but whatever) at the front near the cash registers. Again, their rationale for this:

 Unfortunately, children are now being exposed to same-sex marriage in a toy store. This is the last place a parent would expect to be confronted with questions from their children on topics that are too complicated for them to understand. Issues of this nature are being introduced too early and too soon, which is becoming extremely common and unnecessary.

I went home and told Ab about this and he looked at me like I was crazy. “Dev,” he said, “if I was going to buy a comic book, the last place I would consider going to is Toys ‘R’ Us.” Good point, Ab.

Meanwhile, the CEO of Archie comics, John Goldwater, stands by the issue and characters, issuing this statement:

We stand by Life with Archie #16. As I’ve said before, Riverdale is a safe, welcoming place that does not judge anyone. It’s an idealized version of America that will hopefully become reality someday. We’re sorry the American Family Association/OneMillionMoms.com feels so negatively about our product, but they have every right to their opinion, just like we have the right to stand by ours. Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people.

Now, I should point out something about how the comic is distributed. Even though this is the February 15th issue, it has been on the newstand since January 15th. The March 15th issue began distribution on February 15th. What do you want to bet those silly Moms will take credit for their boycott being effective and claim that the comic was removed at their behest?

Just when I thought they couldn’t get any wackier, they decided to go after Liquid-Plumr because Clorox (parent company of L-P) has created an ad with “two sexy plumbers.”  And boy, are the Moms indiginant: “They are attempting to use sex to sell a product to unclog drains!” Gasp! The horror!

God forbid they point a link to the ad so someone could watch it and make up her mind about its inappropriateness–rather, they write a second-by-second description of what goes on:

The commercial starts off with a woman in a supermarket daydreaming about what this new Liquid-Plumr product has to offer. She says, “Double impact,” twice as she reads the bottle. In her dream she is at home and answers the door to find a sexy plumber. The plumber is nice looking with huge biceps and a tight shirt. He says, “I’m here to snake your drain.” She says come on in and he walks upstairs. The doorbell rings again and it is a second sexy plumber. He says, “I’m here to flush your pipe.” She answers with an okay and while he walks on upstairs she lets out a squeal and moan while letting down her hair. Then she wakes up to reality to find the two men in the supermarket. She flirts by giving sexy eyes to the one man in the deli slicing meat and the other in produce holding two melons. These two men are the same as in her dream. It may be coincidence, but the man in produce is standing beside cucumbers with a price sign behind him reading 69 cents.

Now my question is, how many times did this concerned Mom have to watch this ad to come up with this level of detail? And, as a Facebook friend pointed out, they picked up on details that would probably completely bypass the casual viewer. I certainly didn’t notice the 69 cent sign on my first, er, third, er, tenth viewing. 🙂

Since I’m not shy about what’s in the ad, here’s a link:   Enjoy. The plumbers are sexy and the woman with the plugged drain is pretty cute too, in a Tina Fey sort of way.

I have to say, I wonder what on earth those Moms would think of a woman who keeps her husband locked in a chastity device and can’t remember the last time he had an orgasm. Hmmm…. 😉

What’s the Best Time to Have Sex? July 20, 2011

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Regular readers of this blog know that Ab and I tend to enjoy sex in the early morning. I don’t know if it’s a function of age or what, but I usually feel so exhausted in the evening that I am often not in the mood. Even when we do like to fool around at night, I find it difficult to have an orgasm–maybe I’m thinking too much about falling asleep and not able to relax! Either way, I thought this press release that came across my desk was interesting.

~~

HILLSBOROUGH, N.C., July 19, 2011 /PRNewswire/ — Adam & Eve and AdamAndEve.com, (http://adamandeve.com/news), America’s most trusted source for adult products, are back with the latest results from their Great American Sex Survey. This time, they’ve asked what time of day adults prefer to have sex.

Not surprisingly, most adults (52%) prefer to have sex during evening hours, followed by late night (47%), morning (33%) and afternoon (21%). What is interesting is that even though these are the preferred times to make love, the respondents said they actually have sex mostly during late night hours (48%), followed by evening (45%), morning (26%) and afternoon (13%).

Dr. Kat Van Kirk, Adam & Eve’s resident sex expert, attributes this differentiation between “preferring” and “doing” to the realities of daily life. Dr. Kat says, “If we were to examine our natural biorhythms, hormonally our highest time for arousal is early morning for men and afternoon for women. Unfortunately, sometimes people have sex because of their schedules… not when their bodies are actually most receptive.”

“Adam & Eve has a large line of products to help couples get in the mood for sex,” says Chad Davis, Marketing Director for Adam & Eve. “From sensual lubricants to romantic games, we offer a huge variety of items to enhance the lovemaking experience for both partners.”

The web-based survey, conducted by an independent third party survey company, of over 1,000 American adults age 18 and up, was sponsored by Adam & Eve to study sexual preferences and practices. “Sex Chat with Dr. Kat” can be found on podcasts through iTunes or www.drkat.com.

For more information about Adam & Eve, visit their website at http://www.adamandeve.com/news. For additional information on Adam & Eve, please contact Adam & Eve Director of Public Relations Katy Zvolerin at 919.644.8100 x 3121 or katy@adameve.com.

The Oneida Community: Chaste and Happy in the 1860s June 11, 2011

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I am listening to Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell which is very entertaining as well as funny, and came across an interesting tidbit about the Oneida Community which existed in upstate New York from 1849 to 1879. It was a religious community, with utopian ideals–not terribly unusual for that time. It was started by John Humphrey Noyes, a Vermonter who attended Dartmouth, Andover, and the Yale Divinity School.

The thing that caught my attention was the doctrine of “male continence,” or, having sexual intercourse without ejaculation. Noyes was no dummy–he was a college graduate, after all. He realized that if you had sex with a woman and ejaculated, she could very likely become pregnant. His wife had five difficult pregnancies and four of the children died in childbirth so he really didn’t want to put her through that again. But he also realized that sex was fun and he didn’t want to give it up completely. So what to do? How about, hold back the seed? Of course, he couched all this in religious terms but we chaste folks know what “no coming” really is.

They also believed in equality of the sexes and for the women this was very advantageous, especially in the sex department, because, guess what? Women were supposed to have as much fun as men! In Dev-speak, this would be the principle of “My pleasure is your pleasure.” In other words, when the man was busy not coming, he was also busy making sure the woman had an orgasm or two. Works for me!

John Humphrey Noyes

A third principle was that of Complex Marriage, which when translated into modern terms would be equivalent to “open marriage.” That is, sex with a person not your spouse was okay. They had an interesting way of operationalizing this, however. Remember that the men needed to learn “male continence” and for young men, this could take considerable time and effort to learn how to do it properly. If they were busy having sex with young, fertile women the risk of pregnancy was high. So, instead, they had them go and refine their technique with the older, post-menopausal women (the “Oneida cougars”? LOL) where the chance of pregnancy was nil. Likewise, the older guys who were continent-proficient had sex with the young women to teach them all about being multi-orgasmic.

We’ll just turn our heads on the fact that all this teaching and initiation stuff began when the young people were about 14…it was the old days, after all.

Not surprisingly, male continence was effective as a community-wide method of birth control. In a 20 year period, out of a community of 250 people, only 40 children were born.

Like all utopian societies, this one eventually fizzled, mostly because Noyes’ son, an agnostic, wasn’t interested in continuing his father’s religious beliefs. And somehow or another, for reasons that Vowell did not completely explain, they got into making dishes and flatware, an industry that continues to this day.

* * * * *

I didn’t intend to take a five week sabbatical from posting here, but May turned into a month that was completely out of my control. Things are slowly getting back on track and I am looking forward to sharing my thoughts again, on a regular basis. Thanks to everyone who wrote me privately to ask if Ab and I were okay. Yes, we are and we appreciate your support and kindness. Thanks and hugs to all!

If You’ve Seen One Chastity Relationship… April 15, 2011

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…you’ve seen one chastity relationship. In other words, it’s not a case of, “If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”

This thought occurred to me today when I received a nice email from a very new keyholder—20 days locked up for her husband. She wrote:

I love everything about it but I’m confused as to how controlling and dominant role I should play. Can you please give me some insight as to how to continue with this lifestyle?

I was flattered to be asked and wanted to give her a good, helpful response. As I thought about it, I realized that don’t know how controlling and dominant a role she should play. That’s something that each couple needs to experiment with and find out on their own.

Now that I have met—in person—another chaste couple, this point was driven home even more for me. L, K, Ab, and I have lots of things in common, including our conceptualization of chastity. But we don’t operationalize it the same way. L goes for very long periods locked, without a single break (he should be up to about six weeks, now, if my math is correct). K is in total charge of the key and L has no idea where it is. Contrast that with us where I have gotten away from micro-managing Ab’s Watchful Mistress. The expectation is that he’ll be locked the majority of the time; if perchance he is out of his device (for bathing or just a little break due to discomfort) that doesn’t mean he can have an orgasm. He knows those are strictly controlled by me.

Ab told me once that not having access to the screwdriver would be a game-changer (ie, changing us right out of the game. LOL). I know that for many women, the symbolism of having and controlling the key is extremely important and a large part of what motivates them to stay with chastity. Clearly my arrangement wouldn’t work for them but understanding this has been an important part of the learning process.

I’ve tried to make it clear in this blog that I am writing about our experience and journey with chastity. If some of my insights and new knowledge is helpful to others, great! But I don’t expect others to “do” chastity the way Ab and I do. For chastity to be effective and really work it has to be individualized and that applies to every dimension of the experience from type of device to duration of lock-up to styles of tease and denial. What works for me may not work for you…(although L did seem to enjoy my teasing technique! 😉 ).

So, to newcomer wife I offer these suggestions as you learn about chastity:

  • Read widely but don’t take everything at face value. Remember that anyone can be anyone on the Internet and there are some “chastity imposters” out there who post their fantasies under the guise of real life.
  • The Keyheld resource is a good place to start to find a variety of blogs that are pretty real and down-to-earth.
  • The Chastity Forum is also a good resource full of real-life people.
  • Talk to your husband. I can’t stress this enough. Good, honest, and open communication is crucial. How else are you going to figure out what’s working for both of you if you don’t talk about it?
  • Remember that this is supposed to be fun. You may find some aspects of chastity are life changing and that’s a little amazing, but don’t lose your sense of humor in the process.
  • If you don’t own one already, go and buy yourself a Hitachi and have your husband learn to use it effectively. In fact, just start thinking about toys in general. This is part of the fun. 🙂

Last but not least (and yes, I am going to blow my own horn)—I hope you’ll take time to peruse this blog. Please feel free to leave comments and if you want to send me questions privately, either through the Feedback page or via email, please do. I started writing this in large part because I did not see good resources out there for women and I wanted to do my little bit to change that. I hope you find the information helpful!

Good luck on your journey!

Sometimes You’re Just Not in the Mood April 9, 2011

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I think it is fair to say that Ab and I both have quite active libidos and we’re pretty well matched in the sex drive department. I think a mismatch is a source of stress and conflict for many couples; I am grateful that we don’t have that problem.

That said, it doesn’t mean that we both want to have sex all the time or always at the same time. I can think of times in the past where I would pull the, “Not tonight, honey, I have a headache,” routine. Actually, the more likely scenario was that I would pretend to be asleep as a way to discourage his advances.

That, thankfully, hasn’t happened in ages. One great thing that chastity has done for is make us much more honest with each other about our wants, needs, and desires. Of course, we’re still not 100% in sync about when we want to play around. That would be unrealistic, for any couple, including us. Even so, I’ve realized in the past few weeks that when one or the other of us demurs from having sex, we are able to do so in a loving, polite, and respectful way, which is a far cry from fake headaches and feigning sleep. And that, overall, is a very good thing indeed.

As an example: last Saturday, when we were in San Francisco, Ab woke himself up with a little suckling, which is one of his favorite things to do. It felt good but it wasn’t giving me that twinge of “I want more” that I usually get. His hand moved across my body in his very practiced and familiar way. He played a little and was patient but I just didn’t respond. After a few minutes he stopped. I was a little surprised at that and asked why. He said, “I could tell you weren’t into it. Your mind seemed to be a million miles away.” He was right. Last Saturday was my big day of work and I was keyed up about that—more so than I realized. But my body could tell and it was clear that the pleasure synapses weren’t making it through from the nerve endings to my brain and vice versa.

But it was all okay. He wasn’t annoyed that I didn’t put out and I wasn’t annoyed about any unwanted advances. We both just acknowledged where we were at the moment.

Fast forward one week. It’s Saturday and we’re back at home. Today is the day the new rescue poodle comes to live with us. On top of that, Ab is suddenly very busy at work. He has a ton of stuff to sand and his hand has been cramping. Early this morning, we’re lying together, just quietly talking, and he keeps clenching and unclenching his fist. I reach over and take his hand and give him a hand massage. He thanked me, said that felt good. Then my hand shifts to his cock cage and I proceed with changing the hand massage to a cock and ball massage. Ab doesn’t flinch away or anything but he also doesn’t seem to have any sort of reaction—no “tree trunk erection” as I have nicknamed it. After a few minutes I comment on this and he says, yeah, he’s just not focused this morning, he has other things on his mind. “That’s okay,” I say. “There will be other times.”

So, it seems that maybe we’ve discovered another hidden benefit of chastity. We’ve become very relaxed about sex. It’s comfortable and natural and very good for us. When it happens—which is often—it’s great. When it doesn’t, that’s okay too.

I’ve read about many couples who argue about sex and discover chastity as a way to deal with that problem. That wasn’t an issue for us. Still, even though things were good, I’ve realized another way that chastity is making our sex life and, in turn, our life overall, even better. Funny how that works. 🙂

California Dreamin’ April 8, 2011

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What do you get when you mix two chaste men, two keyholders, a mini-Cooper convertible, and California sun? A whole lot of fun.

As I mentioned in my previous post, on Sunday Ab and I met up with likes2blocked and his wife, keyhldr (hereinafter referred to as L and K). Any anxiety I had been feeling dissipated and flew out the window within minutes of their arrival. As K said to me, “It’s good to finally see you in person,” as opposed to meet, because in truth, we had met months ago. This was just the final step of bringing our physical bodies into the same room. Still, I suppose there could have been some awkwardness. What if K wore some revolting perfume? (She didn’t.) Or L didn’t like my haircut? (If that was the case, he didn’t say anything.) But none of that happened. We connected like old friends, getting together for 36 whirlwind hours together.

So, what did we do? Well, we talked a lot, shared a couple of meals, drank like fish, got kinky together, and on Monday, had a day trip to Point Reyes National Seashore, where we oohed and aahed over the amazing scenery and lighthouse, took pictures, and were blown away by the sight of four whales. The weather was spectacular and driving on twisty-turny Route 1 with the top down on the car was a blast. It reminded me that spring will come to Maine (someday) and I will get to drive in my own convertible. And while Maine does have some off-the-charts scenery and lighthouses, we don’t have any roads like the California version of Route 1 (our Route 1 is pretty boring, in contrast). The drive was definitely a peak experience.

As were the back-to-back dime-worthy orgasmic experiences for me. 🙂 . And the chance to do some serious locked man teasing (and that wasn’t just Ab). Like I said, we had a whole lot of fun.

We never did get to the vibrator store but as L said, when you own a Hitachi do you really need anything else? Good point.

Being with L and K reminded me of being with some of my old nudist friends. If you’ve seen someone naked, can there really be any inhibitions in the conversation? I don’t think so. This was similar. I’ve been writing about my sex life in this blog for the past eight months and the man who shares that sex life was right next to me. I knew that L was wearing a Mature Metal Jailbird on his cock and his wife had the key hidden away somewhere. Were there any barriers between us? Of course not.

Don’t get me wrong. We didn’t talk only about sex. In fact, we talked about just about everything under the sun—and then some. But it was fun to have the opportunity to talk about chastity and kinkiness and fetishes and anything else that popped into our heads. I have mused in this blog about how great I think chastity is and how I wish I could talk about it with others but unfortunately, a couple’s sex life is usually not a topic for polite conversation. Well, now I was with friends where it was completely on the table and up for discussion. In that regard, it was a very liberating experience.

That point has been driven home even more in the days since. While I have been blabbing about the absolutely wonderful time I had, I always have to stop short. “How did you meet this couple?” is a common question. “Through the sex blog I write,” is not the appropriate answer, even if it is correct! “What sort of things do you have in common?” Uh, K and I keep our husbands locked up and neither of them has had an orgasm for at least a month? LOL.

Speaking of, Ab didn’t have a San Francisco orgasm, as I thought he might. The opportunity never really presented itself and he didn’t seem to care. His last one was back on March 4th (I am sure he doesn’t know the date but I do). As for the next one? ::shrug:: We’ll know when the time is right.

* * * * *

Sightseeing wrap-up: Ab saw more stuff than me but I did have a few free minutes for fun. I got to ride on the historic streetcars several times, which was a treat. We saw the Castro Theater (from the outside) and the location of Harvey Milk’s camera shop (now a HRC office and shop). We went to the streetcar museum and did some shopping in the Port of San Francisco building. Ab visited Golden Gate Park and Chinatown. We drove over the Golden Gate Bridge and coming back into the city on Monday, we drove down Lombard Street. We ate lots of seafood, both cooked and raw. While the hole-in-the-wall sushi place we discovered on Thursday night was very good (and cheap), I think the fresh oysters in Inverness were the best thing I put in my mouth for the entire trip—well, of food, that is. 😉

All in all, a great trip. Now I need to start looking forward to the next one…

San Francisco and New Adventures April 3, 2011

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A very quick update: Ab and I are in San Francisco. We arrived on Thursday and had time for fun together on Thursday evening and Friday through lunch, then I began my work gig. The work was fun and very successful but it was, face it, work, which kept my mind occupied. Ab did do some sightseeing on his own and we had a nice group dinner (work related) last night which was very pleasant.

I finished my contractual obligations about one hour ago and we are here waiting the arrival of two online chastity friends. So, yeah, it’s a little nerve wracking, but in a good way. These are folks I connected with very early on in writing the blog and we’ve been corresponding ever since, plus chatting on the phone. So I feel like we know each other even though we haven’t met in person.

If they were local I might not be quite as nervous but they are traveling from a distance to meet us and visit. It makes me feel–well, special is a good way to put it. At the same time, I hope I live up to expectations! Crazy, wild kinky Dev who in person might just turn out to be a nice, pleasant woman of a certain age, with her equally nice, greying husband (greying hair, that is, not personality).

Aw, why I am worried? I’m sure we’ll have fun. And I am sure that going to the vibrator store and museum will be a definite ice breaker. 😉

Okay, gotta run. More later, my friends!

And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Chastity Blogging March 25, 2011

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“What happened to Dev?” you might be asking. “She didn’t post for a week!”

Actually, it was ten days. Believe me, I thought about the blog every day, but life—in particular work—had other plans for me.

I am facilitating a big project for a professional organization. It’s a lot of fun but also a lot of work and over the past two weeks it has taken an incredible amount of time (think—every day, evenings, weekends). The good news is that I have managed to stay on track so I am keeping my stress levels under control. The even better news is that the project requires a trip to San Francisco; I’ll be leaving in six days. The best news of all is that Ab is coming with me so we’ll have a mini-vacation. Warm weather, eating out, hotel sex—what more could anyone ask for? Well, Ab might ask for an orgasm or two. We’ll see if that’s in the cards for him. I haven’t made up my mind. 😉

My lack of posting hasn’t meant a lack of chastity, however. Ab’s still a locked boi. Nickels and pennies have been going into the orgasm glass on a regular basis. For Ab, there was a quarter and a franc way back at the beginning of the month but nothing lately. He did take a one-day vacation from his device last Sunday, but not a vacation from being chaste. It was interesting—I saw his Watchful Mistress on the bedside table and I just shrugged. No big deal. A few months ago, I would’ve gotten anxious. It think it’s telling that we’ve gotten to the point where I know and trust that Ab won’t have an orgasm without may say-so and active involvement. I asked him the other day, “Do you miss masturbating?”

“Of course I do,” he replied. “Who wouldn’t?” But missing it doesn’t translate into trying to do something about it behind my back.

I’ve been pondering activities for while we are in SF. I am sure they have much more entertaining toy stores than we have here in Maine. Shopping might be fun—if anyone has any recommendations, please post here. I’ve also thought about a touch of adult entertainment. A million years ago, in Quebec City, we went to a club with “go-go boys” (nude dancing). It was hot and fun and the place was great—a big crowd of men and women, everyone enjoying themselves. I wonder if there is some place like that?

In a different vein, I’ve always wanted to go to the Castro Theater. The day we arrive, Thursday, they will be having a Wizard of Oz singalong at 7 pm! The other option would be to see The African Queen on Sunday afternoon. I really would’ve liked seeing Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure on Friday night but alas, I’ll be working.

I realize I owe my devoted readers some updates—the Fuckzall, Sexy Period panties, and our soon-to-join us new dog. I’ll get to those in the next few days. Right now I need to go to…WORK!

Hugs to all,

Dev

A Quick Update March 15, 2011

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I apologize for the lack of updates the last few days. Life kicked into high gear right after I wrote my “Luscious Leather” post and hasn’t stopped since. Yikes!

We are looking to adopt a rescue dog that is being fostered in a neighboring state. I have to say, adopting a rescue is akin to adopting a baby! Well maybe that’s an exaggeration but still…We went down to meet her on Saturday. She’s a lovely, sweet dog—just a little over a year old. I hope it all works out.

We hooked our trip down to meet the dog onto another necessary trip  which meant that Saturday we were on the go from 9 am to 6 pm. Phew! Long days like that, with lots of running around, remind me that I am not 23 anymore. Then Saturday night/Sunday morning the clocks changed which wreaked further havoc with my biological clock. All day Sunday I had an upset stomach and felt exhausted. Even yesterday, I hadn’t completely recovered.

As you can imagine, this meant no T&D for Ab and no coins in the orgasm glass for me.

Today I had my butt planted in a chair in a hotel conference room at a day-long retreat. The presentations and discussions were actually interesting so that was a good thing, but I did come home feeling restless—and some horniness was returning. In the mailbox was my eagerly-awaited package from Extreme Restraints. But wait—our daughter was coming home from college for spring break. Damn!!! I didn’t even open the box. No sense in getting wound up if I can’t play with the toys.

The rest of the week—the rest of the month, to be honest—is looking equally busy. Sigh…I suppose it is a good thing that chastity is so totally normal I can’t think of special things to write about and instead, must discuss all the other stuff going on in my life.

And then, I must say, the situation in Japan has me beside myself with unhappiness and sorrow. My prayers and thoughts go out to the people of that devastated nation. I can’t even imagine what it must be like. You wake up on Friday morning thinking life is normal and then normal ends and chaos reigns supreme. It is one of my worst nightmares. In fact, I’ve had bad dreams for the past three nights as my mind tries to process the images and stories that I read in the paper and online.

Anyway, that’s what’s  happening in the Devoted Lover household. I do hope things settle down shortly and we can get back to fun and games but right now I am dealing with busy work, busy lives, worrying about Japan, and having young people at home.

Hugs to all!

Dev

Sweet Dreams March 4, 2011

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His CB is missing!

I love sleeping with my husband. For me, it’s a major bonus of being married—a lifelong slumber party with my best friend. I can count the times we haven’t slept together when we’ve been together on one hand. Sure, we’ve been apart many times in our 32+ years together—I had one job where I was traveling quite a bit—but when we’re at home or traveling as a couple, we’re sleeping in the same bed.

This is why, when I read blogs of women who make their husbands sleep on the floor next to the bed, or in the guest room, or in a cage in the basement, I just shake my head. The latter is usually described as some form of punishment but I wonder who is really being punished? I know that if Ab was down in a cage in the basement, I’d be tossing and turning all night, depriving myself of my much needed rest. This would really be beneficial for one or both of us? I don’t think so.

I mentioned in another post that I was reading GhosTV (another 5-star read in the PsyCop universe, BTW. Highly recommended). The protagonists are Vic and Jacob. They are both tall men, over six feet; Vic is rock-star skinny while Jacob is gym-aficionado muscular. Vic often comments how much he enjoys turning into “the solid wall of flesh” that is his lover. I can empathize. While Ab isn’t as big as Jacob, he is a man with muscles, planes, and angles shaping his body, as opposed to my feminine curves. Like Vic, I like turning into him and feeling him holding me close.

I read another blog that said dominant women shouldn’t spoon with their men—it puts the woman in a submissive position. Seriously, who comes up with these “rules”? Ab can spoon with me all he wants. Again, he holds me close and now I often feel the metal of his Watchful Mistress brush against my ass. Let’s talk dominant, shall we? There he is, caged and loving me, wanting me, and being denied by me. Yes, I think spooning is quite acceptable for a woman in charge. 🙂

My parents slept like Ricky and Lucy, that is, in twin beds. They never had a double bed and in later years, even had separate rooms. This is a mystery to me because they were affectionate with each other and obviously in love. Maybe not a wild, passionate love but certainly one that sustained 56 years of marriage. So I don’t understand how they could give up seven or eight hours of intimacy and closeness every night for their entire married lives. I never asked and I am not going to now—at this point, it’s moot and not really any of my business—but the “sleeping apart” gene is definitely one I did not inherit!

When I was about 12 years old, a new family built a home and moved into our neighborhood. The windows on the second floor were misplaced in relation to the windows on the first floor. Supposedly this was to accommodate the parent’s king-sized bed. I can certainly imagine what was going through my mother’s architecturally-correct mind: “Sex fiends!” she probably thought. “Destroying the fenestration of the house for piece of furniture!” LOL.

While I am hesitant to say “forever” about things—maybe I don’t like to jinx myself—I think it is probably safe to say that Ab and I will be sleeping together for the rest of our lives. That’s a given. Now will he be wearing a cock cage for years to come? Time will tell. 🙂

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There is a bit of a flap at Northwestern University, where a professor of human sexuality had an after class demonstration of some kinky sex. Apparently the woman, whose kink is exhibitionism (not too surprising) had her boyfriend get her off with some sort of a device. My newspaper would only call it “a mechanized device.” The Chicago Sun-Times was a little more specific, describing it thus:

The live sex act featured a sex toy that was a modified version of a power tool known as a reciprocating saw, or Sawzall. The tool used at Northwestern featured a phallic attachment in place of the blade.

Sawzall, huh? I want to see what this thing looks like…LOL. I know Ab has a Sawzall and he’s a clever guy…

Naturally, parents and alums are outraged and the president has pledged a full investigation. It doesn’t sound like there is a whole lot to investigate but here we are—sex in America, especially public sex, gets everybody’s panties in a twist. This comment (left on the article at the Sun-Times) sums up my feelings about the whole situation quite nicely:

This is too much for my brain to handle. People who witnessed the demonstration weren’t disturbed by it, but people who didn’t witness the demonstration are disturbed by it. H L Mencken was right: some people are disturbed by the notion that somewhere someone might be having fun.

So true!

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I apologize for the lack of updates over the past few days. I’ve been insanely busy this week. The entire month of March is shaping up to be a doozy, to be honest. The good news is, we have a trip at the end of the month to look forward to. Plus, being so busy is helping my cabin fever, which is also good.

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Confidential to Harry Haversackers: You mentioned living on the plains in Canada. Many years ago, Ab and I took a two week camping trip and traveled across Canada, via Route 1, from Ontario (Lake of the Woods) to Banff and Lake Louise. We then drove down to Glacier Park in Montana and drove home through the US. We camped for one night in a Provincial Park in either Manitoba or Saskatchewan. It was amazing because we had been driving through miles of flat plains, for hours. The park had a lake that was way down (it almost looked like it had been created by a meteor or something). The lake was good sized with lots of people swimming, boating, and waterskiing. The camping area was very large and nice and looked down at the lake. I can’t remember the name of the park. I have scoured the lists of Provincial Parks and none of the descriptions match my memory of this place. Do you have any idea where we might have been? Thanks in advance!