the key is on my nipple ring

Cue the Moms in 3…2…1… March 7, 2012

I swear, you can’t make this stuff up. Apparently, Sears has been selling a tee-shirt that proclaimed loudly and proudly, “I ❤ Butt Plugs.” (As you can see from the picture, there is a picture of a heart on the tee, but I couldn’t figure out how to make one in this post.) Maybe they figured that if J.C. Penney is going after the LGBTQ market with Ellen DeGeneres as their spokesperson, Sears could capitalize on kinky folks as their niche.

Think of it: “Honey, I’m going to the mall to buy some dog food.”

“Oh great, while you’re there, do you think you can stop by Sears and pick up a butt plug? And maybe a ball gag?”

“Sure thing, sweetie. You want that butt plug in silicone or surgical grade stainless steel?”

Alas, their corporate transformation to the Stockroom of the Mall was short-lived. The shirts are gone, although you can still do a Google search as proof of their existence.

I was curious if the Moms were up in arms about this, so I checked in at the One Million Wackadoodles site. No mention of Sears. They are bleating about some TV show that they consider blasphemous. Apparently the first episode included a reference to “oral s*x.” (Yes, that’s the way they wrote it. When did sex become a dirty word?) It’s probably a good thing they didn’t see Sears’ butt plug tee-shirts. They would’ve had a collective stroke.

I have to admit, even though I’m a bold and kinky chick, I’m not sure I would’ve worn that shirt in public (notice that it comes in both men’s and women’s sizes). Maybe I could’ve sent Ab out in one though…complete with butt plug in place. 🙂

Archie Update: Issue 16, with Kevin Keller’s wedding on the cover has completely sold out and is now going for $50 and up on eBay. No mention on the Moms website about the success (or lack thereof) of their boycott effort.

More on Sears: As I was typing this I reminded myself of this post when I reminisced about looking at “dirty pictures” in the Sears Catalog. Back in 1975 there was a scandal when “something” was peeking out of a pair of boxers. Was that something a penis? Now they are selling butt plug tee shirts. Not sure what that says about Sears or our cultural evolution, but it sure is good for a laugh.