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There’s a New Blog on the Block October 31, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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There’s a new blog on chastity that was started just a few days ago: Nuts4Belle. The reason I am pimping this is because it is being written by a man and his wife. Yay, another enthusiastic keyholder in the blogosphere! Seriously, the bloggers are jnuts and his wife Belle (not to be confused with Thumper’s Belle Fille). They are a couple with two young children and discovered chastity quite recently. They have been on the honor system for a few weeks and have a Jailbird on order. Their enthusiasm is contagious and I look forward to having both their perspectives come through in their blog.

It was a comment from Belle that got me thinking about my own relationship with Ab and partly what prompted my post yesterday. Belle wrote:

I am still struggling with “What if someone finds out?”, and more than anything the Dom/Sub thing scares me

I have commented on the “What is someone finds out?” issue in this blog (in a nutshell, it is unlikely they will and if they do, they probably won’t care) but I’ve stayed away from the Dom/sub topic. I am mostly going to stay away from it now but I just want to reiterate a point I was trying to make in yesterday’s post: chastity is not inevitably going to lead to an outcome that you don’t want. We’re all consenting adults and all we need to do is say, “Please stop. I don’t want to do this.” Or, “I don’t want to quite do it that way, but can we find a middle ground that will make both of us happy?”

An example of the latter is something that happened to us somewhat serendipitously in recent months, brought about by chastity.

I have known, for a long time, that Ab has a bit of a fetish for silky women’s undies. I know he’d like to wear them. Since I don’t wear them, there’s never been anything in my underwear drawer that he could “borrow.” Further, since he knew I wasn’t turned on by the idea of him in silky panties, he never went out and bought any for himself. So there it was, a fantasy unfulfilled.

When he started wearing the chastity device, he realized he needed some sort of underwear to provide support. His previous going commando lifestyle just didn’t work with a CB in his jeans. He broached the topic with me and hinted that he wanted something sexier than plain old white BVDs. I took the bait and actually came up with a great solution in the Mansilk thong that I discovered. It provided the support he needed (the primary reason for wearing something); I liked the look and he got to satisfy his silky undie fetish. Sounds like a win-win for both of us, don’t you think?

Chastity has also helped us bring some reality to Dom/sub fantasies that he has had. Again, for many years he has said to me that he’d like to be submissive. However, aside from playing a few tie-up games in bed, I wasn’t quite sure how to take that further in a way that would be comfortable for both of us. In the context of our day-to-day lives, he really is quite submissive (although I would prefer a different word, like devoted) but we “do” submissive in a polite and respectful way. I don’t demand and he anticipates; because he anticipates, I don’t need to demand. Does that make sense? Anyway, chastity has proven to be a good way for us to go a little bit further with submission. To be honest, I think he agreed to try chastity at the beginning because of the submissive dimension and in that regard, it’s working out well.

I’m in charge of his cock and orgasms. Total control has been given to me. In fact, I’ve had the opportunity to realize just how true this is in the past few days. He’s been in and out of his device—a combination of soreness, plus figuring out the most comfortable fit for the new Watchful Mistress—and he has proven himself to be completely trustworthy while on the honor system. When I asked him if he had masturbated or even considered it, he gave me a truly puzzled look. “Of course not,” he said. “You’re in charge. I don’t orgasm without your knowledge and consent.” He anticipates what I want, and behaves accordingly—but as readers of this blog know, a few months ago, that wasn’t the case, at least with respect to masturbation. Is he being submissive? I would say yes. More than prior to chastity? Well, of course, because I wasn’t in charge of his orgasms then. I am now…

But, for the moment, that’s as far as we are taking it. Things may change in the coming months as we continue to explore our limits and push our boundaries. And I guess that would be my other bit of advice to Belle and other women out there: even if the “Dom/sub thing” that scares you is in your future, it’s not going to happen overnight. Things can evolve slowly. That’s one of the nice things about chastity—being a game that’s played out over days and weeks rather than minutes and hours, you have plenty of time to think about things, discuss them with your husband, and then, if something is appealing, give it a try. And if something doesn’t float your boat, just say no. It’s that simple.

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Comments»

1. nuts4belle - October 31, 2010

Thank you Dev!

devotedlvr - October 31, 2010

My pleasure. Now keep up the good blogging!

2. femsup - October 31, 2010

Its so nice that you have an open mind on things and will go with the flow of where chastity takes you.I am in full agreement that chastity need no tlead to anything else and is of itself a very fulfilling practice.But it can change peoples attitudes to things.

devotedlvr - November 1, 2010

Yes, exactly. I think the attitude changing is important and real. Thanks for your comment!

D

3. key4belle - October 31, 2010

Thanks Dev! Glad to see my ramblings are making sense to someone 🙂 This is such a new thing for me, and I as you can see we are using our blog to help find our comfort zone. Thanks for all the support here and on the forums.

4. A Slight Change to the Game « The Key is on my Nipple Ring - November 1, 2010

[…] stimulate himself. In fact, this is when he gave me the puzzled look which I referred to in this post. I am in charge of his orgasms. Of course he wasn’t going to do anything. He is totally […]


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