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Swinging Shenanigans in Southern Maine October 29, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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Isn't this the kinkiest place you've ever seen?

The paper has been all a-buzz this week with front page stories four days in a row–with two on Thursday–about swinger parties being held at a function hall in Sanford, Maine. Gasp! Can you imagine? Sex acts, people in the nude, doing God knows what near the food! It seems like the food was the most problematic issue, at least for some people. LOL.

Here are links to the various stories:

Sanford Orders Caterer to Stop Sex Parties at Banquet Hall (Tuesday)

Caterer Promises to Stop Sanford Sex Parties (Wednesday)

Caterer Tells Town Sex Parties Will Stop (Thursday)

Sex Parties Cause Banquet Hall Patrons to Flee (Thursday)

Fundraiser Moved Out of Sex Party Site (Friday)

Another view of the place where all kinds of kinky shit was going on!

It’s nice to know that the police and town officials are “keeping me safe” by imposing their Puritanical views on me (and everyone else) and assuming that we’d all be as appalled as they are about the notion of swinger parties behind held at night, behind closed doors, in a private venue. Guess what? I’m more appalled at their assumptions that I’d have a problem with this.

You’ve got to wonder how people’s minds work, though. Consider the following tidbit, published on Thursday.

Town officials are so concerned that residents may be offended at the prospect of voting where sex parties occurred that they are directing Ward 7 voters to cast ballots Nov. 8 at the Ward 3 polling place, at the St. Ignatius Gym on Riverside Avenue.

“Not knowing what might be present or how clean the hall might be, we moved the polling place in case anyone might be uncomfortable voting there,” said Town Clerk Sue Cote.

Seriously? Exactly what might be present? Cooties? A used condom? (Gasp!!). I imagine that the owners have a cleaning crew that comes in and knows how to wield a mop and squeegee. I would also hazard a guess that the place is more of a wreck after a wedding or raucous family reunion than it is after a swinger party.

Careful readers will note that the police and town officials fall back on their tried and true canard that it would never be the good people of Maine who would engage in such lascivious activities–of course it is folks from away, specifically Massachusetts. The police used their very best detective skills to ferret out that bit of evidence by looking at the license plates of the cars in the parking lot. They “all” were from Massachusetts. Again, seriously? Every last one? No horny kinky folks from New Hampshire? Or Maine? LOL.

Dan Savage had a very funny headline in his blog which I just had to share with you:

People Who Live In Massachusetts Are Big Fucking Sex Crazed Slut Monsters and Their Creepy Erections, Slutty Vaginas, Freaky Accents, and Parked Cars Are Totally Grossing Out the Good People of Sanford, Maine

You can read the whole thing here.

As someone said in the comments, I so hope that Jon Stewart picks this one up. 🙂

Comments»

1. tcs - October 29, 2011

Thank you for blogging again! My wife and I are not swingers, but years ago went to this big anonymous looking warehouse wear there were swingers parties to induldge he exhibitionist streak. We never have quite found a place that has the same balance of security but anonymity and no pressure to swing. It was pretty cool. Too bad knuckleheads want to spoil others fun.

Dev - October 29, 2011

Hey tcs, thanks for your comment. Yes, I hope to get back to blogging. It’s been a hellish few months and I realized I need to find time in my life for the things I enjoy–this blog being one of them.

I have never been to a swingers’ party per se, but I have been to nudist events and I suspect there was a lot of swinging going on behind closed doors. Which is fine with me. If it’s not hurting someone else, where’s the problem?

D

kelmag - October 29, 2011

Dev,
I’m also glad to see you are back posting. You have been such an insightful, prolific writer that I was concerned about your well-being when you stopped writing but didn’t wish to intrude by asking you about it. I am sorry you have had a hellish few months. I hope whatever it was has cleared up, gone away or gotten resolved. How are you and Ab doing on the chastity front?
kelmag

2. Dan - October 29, 2011

Well, as a Mass. resident, I am quite appalled to be living amongst such perverts ;). I can only guess that some of these Maine officials would like us to spend our money elsewhere!?!? And my wife and I don’t even swing!!! But, we do often spend our vacation dollars in other New England states!

P.S. Glad to see you back!

Dan

Dev - October 29, 2011

Yes, Dan, you better get a great big PERV tattooed on your forehead!

Maybe I should write the governor and point out that Massachusetts dollars are as good as anybody else’s dollars and banning these parties is bad for the economy of the state. Heck, we’ve probably lost jobs by banning these parties–caterers, cleaning people…stupid, boneheaded people. And, as far as I can tell from reading these articles, there weren’t any laws that were being violated. Just the “standards of the community.” Sigh…

@kelmag: thanks for your message. I will be writing a chastity update tomorrow.

D

3. Wilson - November 10, 2011

Dev, this article isn’t directly related to this post, but it does relate to some themes you’ve discussed, so I thought you’d like it.

Wilson

4. Wilson - November 10, 2011

I’m leaving another comment because I somehow failed to make it notify me of follow-up comments. Feel free to remove this one (although I hope that doesn’t cancel my notification subscription).


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