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From the Mailbag: VII January 20, 2011

Posted by Dev in Correspondence, Devices.
Tags: , ,

I received a nice email from Wilson—folks might remember his name, he’s the guy who won the Humbler in my limerick contest. He had a comment for my I am Addicted to Faking Orgasms post but for some strange reason, he couldn’t post it. I checked and comments are allowed so who knows what the glitch is. Anyway, rather than posting the comment on the post itself (which is several months old at this point) I thought I’d share it here because it was interesting. Without further ado:


I got here from your Birthday Wrap-Up post, so I’m a little late to the party, but isn’t that a great thing about blogs: the party is still going on!

Anyway, I have a couple of thoughts about this post:

First, regarding orgasm ability and the variation thereof among women:

highly recommend the book Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach.

At the start of one chapter, she recounts a fascinating story of how Princess Marie Bonaparte (great grand-niece of Napoleon) had trouble orgasming.  She suspected the problem (or part of it) stemmed from the fact that her clitoris was three inches from her vaginal opening.

However, rather than just superstitiously going ahead and believing that, she tried to find out scientifically: she measured the clit-to-vagina distance of many (hundreds of?) women and compared that to their ability to orgasm through intercourse (and perhaps other ways – my memory is hazy).

I realize you’ve come (or are coming) to grips with your own situation in this regard, and I think that’s fabulous.  I think you might still enjoy that story (and the rest of the book).  There’s another good part, in which the author convinces her husband to have sex with her in a big scanner for some sex researchers.

Secondly, regarding The Joy of Sex:

Wow, did that cover bring back some memories!  My parents had that book—my dad probably bought it—and from that (and his collection of issues of Penthouse Variations*), I had a pretty good—and very liberal!—sex education, despite the efforts of the public school system to give me a bad one**.

One of the best things about The Joy of Sex, in my opinion—and I know this isn’t to everyone’s taste—is that in the (many!) illustrations, the woman is drawn unshaved … all over!  Okay, I don’t think the artist drew leg hair, but both her pussy and armpits are magnificently bushy.

It’s bad enough that US women have been shaving their armpits for almost a century (spurred on, I once read, by some product advertisement that, even then, managed to make women feel self-conscious about their natural bodies!), but the recent trend to have clean-shaven pudenda everywhere drives me to despair!  (And don’t even get me started on the whole idea of labiaplasty!)

* This was back in the 80s, then that magazine hadn’t yet been watered down and could still be a big turn-on.

** And, to be truthful, despite my father’s efforts to hide his porn collection. 😉


Thank you, Wilson! At one point, I had the sample for Bonk on my Kindle but somehow it got deleted. I am going to get it again and likely read it—I’ve heard about that book for awhile and it sounds like the type of thing I like. I really enjoyed Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by the same author.

As for the clean shaven versus hairy look: well, we’ll just have to agree to disagree on that one. 🙂

* * * * *

The SaSi arrived yesterday. My preliminary review: slightly disappointed. Maybe I have dulled my nerves endings with my use of the Hitachi over the years, but the SaSi just didn’t seem to have much oomph. We’ll keep trying, of course—persistence is a key word here in the Devoted Lover Research Labs. Maybe I just haven’t figured out the right way to hold it, or something.  I’ll report back after more extensive testing.



1. Wilson - January 20, 2011

Cool, thanks!

2. Wilson - January 25, 2011

About toys: I can personally vouch for a product called the “We-Vibe II”, with the caveat that it may work best when Ab is not locked (or, alternatively, with a decent dildo, if you have one to use with it).

During intercourse, it does a little for the man – at least in my experience – and a lot for the woman, by vibrating both on and under the clitoris (i.e. inside the vagina).

We just got ours last week (We-Vibe, not dildo) and have have two fabulous sessions with it already. Notable quotes from my wife:
“Omigod, this is every woman’s dream!” (That might be something of an over-generalization. 🙂 )
“Worth every penny!” (During afterglow.)

We haven’t (or rather she hasn’t) tried this, but I believe that it could also be ‘worn’ under clothing for a continuously stimulating experience. That may even be an advertised feature, but I don’t remember for sure.

It’s a bit pricey (hence the ‘Worth every penny’ comment), but it’s come down quite a bit from the original $125-ish and is now available for less than $100 at most online vendors that I could find, and you might be able to find a place that is still having a post-Christmas sale. (I got ours at Sex Shop Canada, for what it’s worth. I have no affiliation with that store, other than living in the same country. 😀 )

devotedlvr - January 25, 2011

Off to check out the We-Vibe II. Thanks for the tip!


3. Wilson - February 3, 2011

Dev, on the subject of hair (were you referring to pubic, pit, or both, by the way?), I’d be interested in your reaction to this article. I know it’s a bit ‘off-topic’, having nothing to do with male chastity, but your reaction intrigued me and I’m wondering what you think of this guy’s take on it. It’s not original to him – I’ve heard the point he makes expressed before, differently.

4. Let’s Talk About Hair… « the key is on my nipple ring - February 5, 2011

[…] commenter Wilson posted a link to this blog post, which I quite liked. I know it was in response to an earlier comment of his where he said he hates the current fad of “bare pudendas.” I replied that on that […]

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