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After Birthday Wrap-Up January 19, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: , , ,

I meant to write this yesterday but life got in the way. Funny how that happens.

First off, a very gracious THANK YOU from Ab for all the birthday greetings that were posted on the blog. He appreciated everyone’s kind words and well wishes. I suggested to him that perhaps he should log on and thank everyone himself, but he demurred, pointing out that I am the writer in the family. Okay, fair enough.

(As an aside, it got me thinking about our slave game. If he really was a slave, then I wouldn’t have asked him to post, I would have demanded. If he had the temerity to refuse, then I would have had to discipline him for his disobedience and I still would have insisted that he write the message. And on and on…thank God that’s not the way we are playing!)

Second, if anyone is curious, his birthday dinner ended up being filet of sole almondine with boiled new potatoes, peas, and a baguette. Yum! I had a laugh at the fish market: the sole was described as being “wild, North Atlantic…” I pictured a bunch of wild, kinky soles and flounders bogeying down in the depths of the cold North Atlantic. LOL.

Ab had a 24 hour birthday vacation from his Watchful Mistress. Yesterday, a quarter went into the orgasm glass. Yes, just a quarter—no penny, nickel, or dime for me. Early in the morning (our favorite time) we had very traditional intercourse, which was nicely orgasmic for Ab but not particularly arousing for me. He tried to finish off the job with the Hitachi but I just wasn’t that wound up—then the dog started agitating to go out. So that was that. Thinking about it afterwards, I think another piece of the puzzle was that Ab was satisfied so getting me off was sort of secondary. I am not saying this as a criticism, just an observation—but it is very interesting to me how our dynamic has changed over the past six months. Changed for the better, I might add. The other thing that happened was that I very consciously would not let myself fake an orgasm. That’s another decision I made a few months ago: no more faking for this former faking orgasms addict. It hasn’t really been a problem but Tuesday morning, the urge to fake came on strong but I wouldn’t let myself. I felt really good about not faking which is probably why I am okay that just a quarter went into the glass and nothing for me. I know I have plenty of coins coming up.

All in all, a successful birthday and successful presents. Ab has been wearing his collar continuously since Friday, even in the shower, which is a surprise to me. In fact, he was wearing it when he stopped by to see my mother the other day and told her it was a birthday present. So, when I said he’d never wear it in front of her, I was wrong! She thought it was very attractive. She also thinks the comfy kilt is a great idea and complimented me on my ingenuity for gifts this year.

* * * * *

Milestone: I realized that Sunday, January 16 was our five month chastity anniversary. Only five months? It seems so much longer! In that time, Ab has had six orgasms: two in October, one in November, one in December, and two in January. The Watchful Mistress is back on until—? Who knows. All I can say is, when the time is right, he’ll be released.



1. David - January 19, 2011


It’s fascinating to me that your latest session of intercourse left you somewhat unfulfilled. Since my wife and I began our chastity journey a couple of years ago, she has become rather unfulfilled by intercourse herself.

I speculate as to why, but who really knows? Was she really faking it those years earlier? Has she “tasted” something she likes better? Are chaste men just no longer desired and satisfactory in an intercoursy sort of way?

I’d be curious to hear some thoughts on your end. Has some perspective changed since chastity play regarding intercourse?


2. Shadesofme - January 19, 2011


Good to hear Ab enjoyed his birthday and even better that your mother has complemented you on your gifts to him.

Congrats on your 5 month anniversary. We also share the same timeline as you, Aug 2010, but we use the honor system. I am now into new “high water mark territory” with my last release two weeks ago. I’m wondering if a device is in my future.

I found David’s questions to be interesting and am looking forward to your perspective.

3. devotedlvr - January 19, 2011

There’s a similar discussion over on the Chastity Forums. I wrote a longer answer there but to recap briefly, here…

Back when I realized that I didn’t orgasm with intercourse, I think deep down inside I because less interested in intercourse. But it was hard to come out and admit that because women are socialized to believe that intercourse is the be-all and end-all of sex. So, we keep telling ourselves that we like intercourse best because that’s the way it is supposed to be.

As I have blogged here before, prior to chastity Ab was saying “Your pleasure is my pleasure.” When we had intercourse it often wasn’t entirely successful, a combination of mild ED and his refractory period after masturbation. However, I didn’t fully understand what was going on. Chastity was the thing that helped me put the pieces together.

When we had intercourse yesterday, it was nice and I enjoyed it and I especially enjoyed seeing Ab have such a positive response. That made me happy for him. I think that’s why I was able to forgo my orgasm — heck, he’s denying orgasms for me, I can do the same for him! It’s a very liberating feeling to have a much better understanding of how intercourse fits in the big picture of our sexual lives. Yes, it’s important but it’s not at the head of the list.


4. From the Mailbag: VII « the key is on my nipple ring - January 20, 2011

[…] got here from your Birthday Wrap-Up post, so I’m a little late to the party, but isn’t that a great thing about blogs: the party […]

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