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Fantasy vs. Reality vs. Real Reality January 14, 2011

Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: , , , ,

There’s a lot of fantasy stuff out there—people writing blogs that make me shake my head and say, “Could this possibly be true?” Then there are the blogs that seem to be closer to the truth, then there’s real reality. We all know real reality but I like to pretend that it’s a bit of altered reality because that keeps things closer to the fantasy. If you know what I mean. Or, if you don’t know what I am talking about, let me try to explain.

A few weeks ago I mentioned that Ab and I have a collar that we like to play with—it’s usually been our signal for “Let’s have some fun with Top/bottom games” (or D/s). Lately, it’s been making a more regular appearance on Ab’s neck which has been fun for both of us. The fantasy—bleeding to the edge of reality—is that in the bedroom, we do have fun with power exchange and lately, the power has been more often in my hands. I guess that’s what happens when a woman locks up her husband’s cock. As a friend has said to me more than once, handing over the key is, in and of itself, a submissive act. If you accept that, and I do, then we just take it a little further for playtime.

The collar we had been playing with was just a cheap old thing that Ab picked up at a pet store. I decided for his birthday to kick it up a notch and get something attractive and “permanent”—that is, something harder to take off than just unbuckling a buckle. Maybe something that would require a key that I would hold on to. I did a little research and found Eternity Collars. This looked like just the ticket!

Wednesday was a snow day and we did end up having lots of fun, as I had predicted. Ab put on some of his favorite sexy clothes, we cranked up the heat in the kitchen, and started to play. As things progressed and the emotions began to run high, I caved and pulled out the collar in its package. “This is for your birthday,” I said, “but I am giving it to you a few days early.” (Sometimes I have problems with impulse control. LOL)

He opened the package, hands trembling a bit. Then, oh, he liked it! I screwed it on and held up the Allen wrench. “I am holding onto this key. You won’t know where it is. Only I can take this off.”

“You mean,” he said, “I’m wearing this…forever?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I want everyone to know I’m in charge.”

We had a bit more discussion which included Ab saying things like, “Are you sure you want your mother to see this?” but I was adamant. He was collared. He was my slave.

Thursday morning when he got up I said, “If you want to take your collar off before you leave, I’ll unscrew it for you. I realize you might not be ready to go public.”

“No,” he said. “I’m wearing it. That’s what you want.”

Oh, hot! …. Shiver…

Thursday evening I got home and there it was: nice and shiny around his neck. “Glad to see you’re still dressed in metal,” I said. He nodded. “Did anyone at work say anything?”

He paused. “I took it off,” he admitted. “This thing is fucking heavy.”

“You took it off!” I feigned surprise. (To be honest, I wasn’t really surprised. This is where real reality comes in.)

“Yes. It’s just a simple little screw with an Allen wrench. It was easy to get off.”

“You have that size Allen wrench at your shop?”

He gave me a look. “Dev, I have every size Allen wrench.”

“Oh.” I paused. “But you’re wearing it now!”

And that’s how it works.

The fantasy: He’s my slave, collared 24/7 in permanent metal collar that’s never coming off.

The reality: I got him a nice collar for his birthday that we’ll play with and enjoy. It’s more attractive than the old dog collar and it has more opportunities for…fun. 🙂

The real reality: He’s not my slave, he’s not wearing it 24/7, he’s not wearing it at work and he’ll never, ever wear it in front of my mother! But we can pretend which brings us back to the fantasy

Works for us!


1. Tantalized - January 14, 2011

This is great — yes, in the moment it’s “I’m your slave and I’ll wear it everywhere.” In reality — well, sanity returns. But I’ll bet you’ll still enjoy every moment you see him in it.

devotedlvr - January 14, 2011

I certainly will enjoy him in it–it’s very hot. I am at home, early for a change, so I’ll be here when Ab comes in the door. I wonder if he’ll have his collar on for me? He doesn’t know I am at home. 😉


2. B2ounce - January 14, 2011

Brilliant and illustrative post Dev! Very useful for those of us trying to express why we want MC in our lives. Thank you.

devotedlvr - January 14, 2011

Thanks, B2ounce. I am sorting through in my mind thoughts around wearing a chastity device, since Ab is in that 24/7. It’s a different dynamic than it is with his collar. I need to think about that.


3. Shadesofme - January 14, 2011


What a cool gift. I have enjoyed reading your posts and am inspired by the impact that MC has had in other areas of your love life with Ab. Thanks for sharing and keeping it real.

devotedlvr - January 14, 2011

Thanks, Shades. Maybe you’ll be inspired to put an eternity collar on your wish list? 😉

And yes, finding that balance between super hot sexy fantasy and keeping it real is what it is all about…


4. 705-468-560 - January 14, 2011

This is a wonderful post and a wonderful beginning. Great things can come from the serendipity of snow days. Ab is indeed correct, metal collars are f…in heavy, both physically and more so mentally. It takes a while to work up to full time wearing. The honor system works to start. A small dap of nail polish over the allen screw hole makes it easier to stay real. Maybe someday, the mother issue can be solved with a turtleneck or other high collared shirt. I wish you both well in your journey.


5. devotedlvr - January 14, 2011

Thank you, 705. I appreciate your comment and welcome to the blog.

Who knows where we’ll go with this? At the beginning I thought of chastity as a game but it is more than that now. Symbolism and artifacts are important. I don’t have any particular expectations–we’ll see what evolves.

Thanks again for posting. I appreciate your respect.


6. Jorgiman - January 14, 2011

Hello Dev.

It is a great way to put it to make it simple to explain teh differents realities.
Also maybe you can buy him some sort of necklace as a collar for the real reality.

7. b2ounce - January 16, 2011

An additional though on the collar – if you were feeling particularly minx-like you could hang the key to his Jailbird from the collar. How frustrating would that be?
Unless, of course, Ab is incredibly flexible….

8. kinkyplay - January 16, 2011

You do see a lot in blogs, and I too kinda wonder how real some people really are! I have been around a long time though my blog is new I’m very real and true!

9. femsup - January 17, 2011

This seing him in metal is getting to be a big thing.Perhpas you should get him a suit of amour and a big tin opener.

10. MRbillsails - January 18, 2011

It’s great to read about someone who is so clearly dealing with reality and having a great time too!
Thanks for the inspiration

11. After Birthday Wrap-Up « the key is on my nipple ring - January 19, 2011

[…] stopped by to see my mother the other day and told her it was a birthday present. So, when I said he’d never wear it in front of her, I was wrong! She thought it was very attractive. She also thinks the comfy kilt is a great idea […]

12. michael - January 21, 2011

The next time you go shopping try this:

I think you will find AB will not be able to
find a simple tool for removal, my wife would
not think of removing the “CB” without the
“Heaven & Hell” collar on

devotedlvr - January 21, 2011

Ah, interesting. Thanks for the link!


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