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A Spanking Surprise November 21, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: , , ,

The other night, Ab and I spent an hour or so surfing various blogs. I have gotten to the point where I have realized that I have absolutely no “bullshit filter” for figuring out which blogs are total fantasy fabrications, which are semi-real, and which are really real. Ab graciously agreed to look at a few with me and give me his opinion on each one.

“Fake, fake, fake,” he said, and then we got to this one: A Spanking Marriage. “This one looks real,” Ab said, and I agreed.

I had found this blog earlier in the day, through a series of links from someone who had been looking at my blog. I had actually found it very interesting because the story the woman told—her journey to discovering spanking with her husband—was very similar to many chastity stories I have read. Substitute “chastity” for “spanking” and they could be interchangeable: middle-aged couple; spark has gone out of their love life; wife discovers that her husband likes to look at porn on the Internet and masturbate in front of his computer; this behavior is having a negative impact on their sex life. His kink is spanking. She’s vanilla but decides that her marriage is important enough to try to accommodate his desires into their sex life. And when she does, she finds that she gets into it and off on it more than she ever expected. Sound familiar?

As Ab read through the entries he gave me a shy look. “You know, this is sort of hot,” he said.

“Spanking?” I replied, slightly incredulous.

“Yeah,” he nodded, looking embarrassed.

This took me back a bit. Ab has never seemed to be into pain. If I tweak his nipples he yelps. The other night I was patting—not even slapping!—his balls and he loudly proclaimed, “Ouch! That hurts! And not in a good way!” But he’d be into being spanked?

Then I thought back to a few months ago—right around the time that I had ordered Ab his new thongs. We were fooling around in the kitchen (yes, always the kitchen, LOL) and I grabbed a spatula out of the utensil drawer. I used it on his bottom and got it to redden up nice and quick and he seemed to enjoy that. Then I remembered a comment I wrote about the Humbler the other day, in response to a question from Atone:

So do you have plans on what you are going to do once you get Ab locked in the humbler?

And I replied:

Once the humbler is on, I think I’d like to make his butt glow red. Likes2blocked tells me I should invest in a jumping bat. That’s an intriguing idea, don’t you think?

I also recalled that likes2blocked told me he is getting paddled on a regular basis by his wife.

I suddenly realized I was at one of those “make it or break it” moments. For the past three months, Ab has been indulging my kink (as everyone knows, I am the one who brought up chastity) and now he is quietly confessing to me a fantasy of his: spanking. How long has he had this in his mind? I have no idea. At least since September when I swatted him with the spatula. Maybe longer. When we have a chance to talk about it, you can be sure that will be one of my questions.

So, now that he has revealed this to me, I figure it is time for me to pony up and indulge his kink. Thus, I have spent some time today looking at various spanking websites—and there are plenty! From what I can gather, spanking is a very specific fetish for some people. They want to be spanked but that is the extent of their pain play. No nipple clamps, no thrashing on the upper back—butt only or maybe butt and thighs. That’s it. It seems that, given the limited information that I have at this moment, Ab would fall into this category. It also seems that while there are plenty of “equal opportunity” spanking couples, there are many where there is an exclusive spanker and spankee, which, right now is what I am thinking will happen in the Devoted Lover household but who knows? Keep an open mind is my motto.

A prototype batten

Since I am not ready to start spending a whole lot of money on spanking gear (and besides, I think the spanking is going to start pronto, before I have time for UPS to arrive) I decided to do an inventory of found items in the house. We have: a variety of wooden spoons, stirrers, and mixers; the aforementioned spatula, which is metal; a rice paddle, which I understand can be quite stinging; assorted belts; a yardstick; a metal ruler; and a wooden hairbrush. That should be enough to get us through a session or two, I thought. Then, I was standing in the bedroom and my eyes drifted down to the pile of toys in the bag next to the bed. I saw the item pictured above which I believe would be called a “batten.” Ab made it for me/us right after the spatula session in September.

Sometimes I can be so clueless.

As always, tips, tricks, and techniques on spanking are welcome in the comments.


1. mikecb - November 21, 2010

Oh my goodness, where to begin?!? 🙂

I guess the first thing that jumps to my mind is that, for me, paddles are the MOST painful thing. If you generalize the spanking fetish to “flogging”, there are bajillions of toys out there. So, my first cautionary tale is that if the paddle-like objects turn out to make “bad pain”, don’t give up on the fantasy.

Bare handed spanking is WONDERFUL, and can be quite painful. However, since you’re in my age demographic, you may have a touch of arthritis in your hands. You may find that hand spanking hurts you as much as him.

The first advice, is warm him up. Gentle spanking. You’ll feel his skin get warmer, and begin to pink. Slap a few times, then stroke, rub, tickle… use objects with different textures to stimulate the skin. Furry items, sharp ones dragged seductively (fingernails work great, if you have ’em), coarse things, like a pumice stone.. all generate sensations. Try playing with all of them.

You’ll have to play and communicate to find out if he likes the sensation more, or simply the erotic humiliation play. If it’s erotic humiliation, he may have specific things in mind – over the knee with bare hands, or hair brush. Dig into that a little, and find out what rubs his buttons.

I could go on, but I’d get all hot and bothered! ;-p


2. devotedlvr - November 21, 2010

Well, we/I started in like a couple of amateurs with a great big wooden rice paddle. My sister brought it to us from Tokyo and it’s always been my favorite wooden implement in the kitchen so it seemed appropriate to use for our initial foray into the wonderful world of erotic spanking. LOL. Ab seemed to enjoy it–maybe not so much while it was going on as he tried to squirm away a few times, but I kept him in his place and finished the job. Then, I gave him a very loving bottom massage with our favorite almond oil. So I would say it was a success even if our technique was a little rudimentary–but that means we have room to grow and learn. He did enjoy it, that’s the most important thing, right?


3. Tom Allen - November 22, 2010

Ab has never seemed to be into pain. If I tweak his nipples he yelps. The other night I was patting—not even slapping!—his balls and he loudly proclaimed, “Ouch! That hurts! And not in a good way!” But he’d be into being spanked?

It’s funny what hurts, and what doesn’t, and when. Mrs. Edge has given me ball-pats that have brought stars, and at other times she has clamped down hard, with me egging her on. There’s no easy way to say how it’s going to work.

Plus, the ass is made all cushioned with fat and muscle, so it can take a surprising amount of impact, while still feeling good.

Many years ago, I wondered what a sound whipping would feel like. My then-partner was happy to oblige, and let me tell you, there was nothing erotic about it while I was enduring it.

But afterward? Wow!

Ab made it for me/us right after the spatula session in September.

Sometimes I can be so clueless.

:eye roll:

So much for the stereotype of women being tuned into the relationship aspects…

devotedlvr - November 22, 2010

:eye roll:

So much for the stereotype of women being tuned into the relationship aspects…

Hey, at least I was honest and admitted it! LOL.


4. Celtic Queen - November 25, 2010

Dev, if you want to “skill up” in this area – and believe me, there is some serious level of skill to master – Jay Wiseman’s SM101 is worth reading. It’s easy to get it wrong and both miss an oportunity for someting really rather amazing – when you get it right. Fabulous work out for the upper arms too. It’s a whole new area of play in itself – and actually, you wont spend as much money as you think (unless you want to). You can divide the play into core equipment that all bring totally different sensations to keep the costs down. Just buy a flogger, cane and a crop. You’ve got the paddle type stuff already. My hub is absolutely terrified of my paddle hairbrush and that was just a cheap thing. Believe it or not, there are classes in this.

Wait til he discovers CBT. I suggest you buy a new cupboard with a lock…..:-))

5. devotedlvr - November 25, 2010

CQ, thanks for the suggestion of the Jay Wiseman book. It’s available for the Kindle so I have ordered it right up. Sweet! Some fun reading for the Thanksgiving holiday. 😉


6. Dr. Spanks - December 29, 2010

Your blog is right up my alley! Absolutely love it! Dr. Spanks

devotedlvr - December 29, 2010

Thanks, Dr. Spanks…welcome, and glad to have you here!

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