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We’re Having Lots of Sex October 3, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: , , , ,

Yes, we’re having lots of sex. Morning, noon, and night. In the bedroom, on the porch, in the living room. So far we’ve missed the dining room table but I wouldn’t put that beyond the realm of possibility, the way we are going at each other.

Ab has been locked since August 16th so as of today, 48 days. I think we’ve had at least one sexual encounter (and an encounter may be as simple as a 3 minute ball massage) 47 of those days. (I know we missed one day when I was having my period and Ab was tired.) Let’s guess that at least half those days we’ve done something sexual twice a day: another 23 encounters, so 70 sexual experiences. And that’s probably a conservative guess. I know we’ve had a few three times a day days in the mix.

In the old, pre-chastity days we were probably having sex twice a week, maybe three times at least once a month. So…52 weeks times 2 is 104, throw in another 12 events: that would total out (roughly) to 116 in 2009. At the rate we’re going, we’ll have more sex in the last five months of 2010 than we did in all of 2009. Phew!

I am not trying to brag. I am just more than a little amazed. I am having lots of fun. LOTS of fun. All this is reminding me how much fun sex really is. 🙂

A few thoughts. One, my definition of “sex” is changing. It used to be that “sex” meant beginning, middle, and end. Foreplay, the big stuff in the middle (requiring an orgasm), and then post-coital cuddling. Now, lots of things are sex to me. A quick ball massage for Ab, as I said above. A breast massage for me, or a little sucking. A foot rub, a back rub. Humping me with his cage on (better now with the Jailbird. The white pegs on the CB tended to poke a bit.) Pussy licking. A clit massage. Lots of rubbing and fondling. Tickling. Playing together. It can be brief—a minute or two—or longer, depending on how much we feel like playing. Orgasms for me, if they happen, are a wonderful bonus but I’ve actually gotten to the point where they are no longer a requirement of a sexual encounter. Ending up feeling tingly and loved is enough, because you know what…more play is right around the corner. Maybe that one will be a big O for me. Anticipation is great.

It sort of reminds me of the difference of sitting down to play a rubber of bridge versus playing a quick hand of Crazy Eights. We’re playing a lot of Crazy Eights and frankly, it’s a lot of fun. Not so serious, not so much work and we’re having a blast.

What’s gone? Intercourse and blowjobs. Intercourse with Ab’s cock, that is. We’re having lots of fun with various dildoes and the njoy pure wand (which is illustrated in the picture above. Want to learn more? Go here). That’s a treat.

From reading various blogs, it sounds like many women unlock their man to play with their cock but don’t let them orgasm. So far, I haven’t figured out how to make that work. The physical act of getting the device off, playing with his cock and then stopping? I just can’t get my head completely around that. Plus, there’s an element in my mind that being locked means being locked, and getting unlocked is for—well, an emergency. This is particularly true now that Ab is in the Jailbird. He doesn’t have his cleaning issues to contend with and plead for a release. He really should be in his device 24/7. So getting out to fool around—tease and denial with a naked cock—doesn’t really work for me. I think there’s lots of teasing going on but it is teasing the way we are making it work for us. Maybe in his next lock-up (after his release next weekend) we’ll figure out the naked cock teasing. We’ll see.

Blowjobs—well, now, I do miss those a bit. I don’t think I was the greatest blowjob giver in the world, but I certainly enjoyed it and loved the sensation of a cock in my mouth. And just like I am not sure about naked cock teasing, I am not sure I could do a blowjob without the payoff. So for the moment, they are history. But we do have next weekend to look forward to.

(Speaking of blowjobs, that reminds me of an old joke: It’s the day of the wedding and the bride and groom are each in their respective dressing rooms, having the finishing touches to their clothes and hair done by their honor attendants. The groom says to his best man, “Oh, I am the luckiest guy alive to be marrying this girl—she gave me the best blowjob of my life last night. This is what I have to look forward to for years to come!”

Meanwhile, the bride is saying to her maid of honor, “I am so lucky. I gave the last blowjob of my entire life last night…”)

My point in all this? Well, just a nice reminder to me how much fun sex is. I have always enjoyed sex but when life gets busy with work, children, and other responsibilities, it is easy for sex to become another chore—the required event on Tuesday and Saturday nights. Chastity has brought the playfulness back. It’s great.

* * * * *

Ab and I are in the Home Stretch as I described in my model yesterday. The Jailbird comes off on Friday. Frankly, I’m a little anxious, moreso than he is, I think. I am loving the status quo and don’t feel any real need to upset the apple cart. But, a deal is a deal and he is really looking forward to his 48 hour vacation. We’re both curious about things will go with respect to erections and ejaculations. You can be sure that I’ll keep detailed notes, scientist that I am, and report back here. 😉



1. Paul - October 3, 2010

Hi Dev,
Interesting post! When we initially started with chastity play, I definitely agreed that we had a lot more “sex” than before. We were like teenagers! It is a bit redefined though, which is fun. I found that focusing on my wife’s pleasure – knowing that I was going to be denied orgasm – was a surprisingly intimate and loving experience. My own sexual needs “got in the way” of fully focusing on her.

I have read alot about the nJoy Pure wand. How is it used? Is it for g-spot stimulation only? Looks like a fun toy! Can a woman climax from that alone? Do you penetrate it like an insertable dildo? What is so special about it? I am always looking for new ways to pleasure my wife!

2. devotedlvr - October 3, 2010

Hi Paul,

Thanks for your message. I agree about redefining sex and I am definitely enjoying it. I think, as adults, we forgot how to play, like children play. Everything is an event to us. Ab and I are rediscovering playfulness. It’s fun.

The njoy—it’s fun because it is so versatile. It’s a big, heavy thing (24 ozs) and completely smooth (no rough seams or sticky silicone). It’s metal so you can warm with hot water (which we’ve done) or stick it in the freezer or refrigerator (which we’ve not done but that might be fun…a cold pure wand against my husband’s balls when he’s locked up? There’s an idea…;-) ). You can insert either end into any orifice on your body (yes, I’ve sucked on it with my mouth). As to whether a woman can climax from the wand alone? Probably many women can—what I like best, however, is to have the smaller end in my ass and a vibrator on my clit. Fabulous!

We liked the wand so much we bought a couple of the njoy butt plugs, too (1″ and 1 1/2″). In case you haven’t figured it out yet from all my posts, I have a thing for metal. 🙂 njoy products feed that fetish.


3. womenwanterotictalk - October 3, 2010

That’s a HOT story!

4. atone - October 3, 2010

“Plus, there’s an element in my mind that being locked means being locked, and getting unlocked is for—well, an emergency.”

I am so in to this, at least right now. Someday I will have to get my wife to talk to you.

Another great post, thank you.


devotedlvr - October 3, 2010

And you’ve been completely locked for what…4 weeks? Between Ab’s little vacations and cleaning breaks, he hasn’t been continuously locked for more than 3 or 4 days (by my estimation). Don’t tell him, but next Sunday at this time, when the JB goes back on and gets locked, I am getting really serious. 😉


atone - October 3, 2010

yes, a little over 4 weeks. And that was only to change out a ring that I hope to go back to one of these days. I am not going to ask to be let out for such a minor thing though. I did ask the last time because it was a serious comfort, and possible health issue.

My wife is great and she has enforced this during the last four weeks. I did actually ask to be let out for cleaning and inspection twice. Both times she determined it ‘wasn’t really necessary’ and delayed the request. Both times she was right.

The difference is that she was enforcing my wishes, not her wishes. I can’t really explain how that is different even though the actions she took might be the same either way but it is. There have been a couple of times where she has truly desired an action and it wasn’t coming from me (topping from the bottom so to speak) and it was really, really hot.

I hope that makes some sense.


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