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Slightly Perplexed September 10, 2010

Posted by Dev in Devices, Musings.
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I am slightly perplexed this morning…just slightly.

I am came home from work last night and found out Ab didn’t have his CB on. He told me that he had developed a small area of irritation under one of the rings and he thought he needed a little break. I inspected the spot and didn’t see anything but he said it felt like a pimple and was sore. Okay, they’re his balls, I am sure he knows when he feels something!

He left the CB off all night and I thought he would do the same today, but I noticed that it doesn’t appear to be anywhere in the house. It had been on the bedside table on my side of the bed but in the time when I got up and went to the bathroom and he left for work, it disappeared. I assume if he took it with him to work, that means he is going to put it on. He wouldn’t be carrying it around with all the little parts that could potentially get lost.

This reinforces my wish to get him back into a metal device and one that is custom-fitted. I don’t think human bodies are meant to wear plastic over the long-term and tell us so by developing areas of irritation and little pimples! Metal is better, for cleaning and comfort. I did mention to Ab, in sort of an offhand way, that I didn’t think it would be unreasonable to spend up to $1000 to get the proper device for him to wear (so far we’ve spent $300, so we have a ways to go). He didn’t disagree and commented that custom made suits can cost way more than that—is this really any different?

So…suggestions on metal devices that are comfortable for long-term wear, well-fitting, and not too heavy are welcome, as are suggestions on how to get the right fit. I’ve seen posts from one fellow, Atone, who went through several different rings on his Jailbird to get to the size that felt best for him, but now he says he loves it. That’s what I want for Ab—for him to say he loves his device and he wants to wear it.

Edit to add: I am just looking at the Mature Metal website and reading about their sizing rings. Have people used those? Is it worth ordering up a set to get the correct fit? Feedback welcome…thanks. D

* * * * *

Our daughter is coming home from college this weekend, so there will be young people around the house. Probably not as much and games for Ab and I—we were fooling around on the porch last Friday night! That’s not going to happen again. LOL. But maybe it is good to just slow things down a bit and work towards “the new normal.” Besides, I am looking forward to seeing my daughter and hearing about her adventures at college. She’s a freshman so this is all new and exciting for her and us.

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Comments»

1. Billus - September 10, 2010

You should be able to translate the sizes of the CB to a metal device, at least for the “A” ring behind the testicles. My Jailbird arrived last week, but needs some fine-tuning. All the reviews of his work I’ve read online have been very good, and my dealings with him have reinforced that. But like Thumper and his Steelworxx, I think a lot of the crafters of metal devices have to have good support and be ready to make mods on the fly. Otherwise you get the $15.99 specials which are one size fits nobody.

2. devotedlvr - September 10, 2010

Thanks, Billus. Ab is in the #3 ring on the CB and that seems to be the most comfortable for him (area of irritation notwithstanding). The length of the tube (he is in the 6000s) seems to be about right, too. I just sent an email to Mature Metal asking what his sizing in the CB would be equivalent to in a Jailbird. I’ll see what they have to say about that and keep everybody posted.

D

3. Tom Allen - September 10, 2010

The problem with the plastic devices is that being molded, they are prone to parting lines, which need to be smoothed out. Plastic also has more inherent friction with skin as it picks up body oils.

OTOH, they are 20% of the weight of a similar steel device, which makes them more comfortable for longer term wearing. For the full cage styles, you can see through, which allows you to make sure nothing is irritating your sensitive skin. Lightweight steel devices are light because they are more of a cage than a tube, which means you can have skin contact, which (potentially) is a security issue.

I’m working on making a solid (i.e., not hinged) stainless steel replacement for my No. 2 ring, which should also help reduce the overall weight when I wear it with the Fort.

devotedlvr - September 10, 2010

Thanks, Tom. It really does seem to be a toss-up between the lightweight of the plastic vs. the ease of cleaning for a metal device. This “off daily to clean” business is bugging me as folks here know.

The skin contact is a security issue…? In that, I/he could fondle himself to an erection? If the tube/cage is short and properly fitting, I think that problem could be eliminated. To be honest, I sort of liked touching his skin when he was wearing the Birdcage.

I just got an email from Mature Metal. The #3 ring on the CB is 1.75″. The length for the 6000s (the short one) is 2.5″. I am thinking that if we go with the Jailbird, I’m going to order the 2″ length, because he didn’t completely fill out the CB.

I just sent another email asking about weight.

D

atone - September 10, 2010

didn’t see this before.

I weighed my jailbird (1 3/8″ diam, 2 1/2″ length)

The Cage – 95 grams
The Ring (1 7/8″) – 45 grams
Brass Masterlock – 25 grams

Grand total is 175 grams (6.1 oz)

If you think you want a smaller cage than that I can weight the other one for you at some point when I have reason to remove it. That cage is 1 1/8″diam and 2 1/4″ length. That doesn’t sound like much difference but let me tell you it is an enormous difference in size. If I take it off I will also take a picture of both of them side by side. It is amazing.

good luck,

-A

Tom Allen - September 10, 2010

I’m not sure why cleaning is an issue. I know I’ve written about squirt bottles, warm water, and hand lotion, and being able to go for weeks at a time.

But then, *you’re* driving this, so it’s fair to allow him to adjust to it in his own way.

devotedlvr - September 10, 2010

Yes, it’s a balance between letting him do what he needs/feels like he has to do and my being in charge. I am feeling like I need to wrest a little control back here. I have given him all the info on squirt bottles and so on but I keep getting complaints (now this latest, the sore spot). I am very tempted to order the Jailbird, say, put this on, it will be easy to keep clean and no key access anymore.

We’ll see.

That said, it’s all lots of fun. 🙂

D

atone - September 10, 2010

I agree with Tom, cleaning should not be an issue with the CB-6000s.

Get one of these (although don’t pay this much for it, I only paid 6.73 when I ordered mine) http://www.amazon.com/Bel-Art-116460614-Safety-Bottle-Labeled/dp/B0013IZSF0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=industrial&qid=1284160733&sr=8-1

Put a little antibacterial body wash in there along with some hot water and he will probably come out cleaner than when you let him take the device off.

-A

atone - September 10, 2010

My jailbird is only 6oz including the lock. My CB3000 with the lock was 3oz. Quite a difference but on 20% the weight. To be honest though I rarely notice the additional weight, just don’t do something stupid like jump off the back of a truck. The sudden stop can really wake you up. The Fort is heavy, I think about 12oz with the lock. I can imagine that you would have to notice that a bit more.

I think the open design can be a security issue depending on the size. If you are looking at something the size of ‘the curve’ or larger there would be a lot of access. I think I would have to be pretty desperate to get some stimulation for it to be pleasurable. If that was the case I am pretty sure I could figure something out on the CB3000 too. If I were to order another one (always a possibility, like having more than one coat) I would consider the ‘pet trap’. It has a little less access and a different look.

I know I sound a bit like an ad for mature metal but I am not. Just a happy customer.

If I could convince my wife to let me get a piercing (I know, I don’t need permission but it would strain our relationship to do that unilaterally) I would probably look at a Lori’s Tube. I forget which model but I think it might be the 12D. I don’t think it would be worth the money without a piercing though.

-A

4. mikecb - September 10, 2010

I think you’re on the right track with MatureMetal. By all reports, he’s been great to work with.

Do be aware that the shorter the tube is, the more the device will tug on his balls when he gets hard.

That said, I’m sure one day you’ll want Ab to get a PA piercing for the ultimate in security. ;-p You’ll want the tube to be exactly the right length when totally flaccid…. just kidding about the PA…. well… not really.. I love mine! 🙂

Also, it’s entirely possible to have sensitivity, even if you don’t see much on the surface. I was just wearing my CB3k for about 8 days, after not wearing for a long time. I got some very minor chaffing, but a major ache in my balls. In part, I think it’s some minor bruising on the testicles, and in part I think it’s just stretching of the scrotum. In any event, do take your time with it. Eventually, he’ll be able to wear for longer and longer stints without interruption.

Best of luck!
mikecb

5. gat1207 - September 10, 2010

I beleive that the Hoy Grail of chasity review sites is:

http://www.tpe.com/~altarboy/newstuff.php

It is the oldest site with the longest history, that I know of,all the way back to 1996.

devotedlvr - September 10, 2010

Thanks for that link…I am sure that will keep me plenty busy with many hours of reading…

D

6. devotedlvr - September 10, 2010

Hi Mike,

Thanks for your message. Regarding the length, that’s a good question for the folks reading this. Should his cock fill it more or less completely or should there be some wiggle room? And if so, how much? Is my 2″ estimate too small? I am still waiting to hear back from the Mature Metal guy about how much it weighs.

As for a PA piercing, of course you know I’ve brought that up. :-). But I have also been bringing it up for years and I mostly get a horrified look. Now I am after him for a scrotal piercing like this guy has: http://www.extremerestraints.com/chastity-devices_26/the-bird-cage-chastity-device_3939.html. He doesn’t seem quite as anxious about that one. I will admit that piercing conversations are a bit of a fantasy for us…it took me years to get my nipples done and so far, all Ab has agreed to is one nipple. Well, he had two but one never healed correctly and he ended up taking out the ring.

I did ask for photographic evidence (at lunchtime) that he is wearing his CB, and he is. How did we live without cameras in our phones? LOL

D

Billus - September 10, 2010

What Mature Metal goes for in his measuring requests is the size of the penis when not erect (flaccid), but not totally shrunken (as in ‘turteling’). The idea being that the penis has little or no room to expand when aroused, therefore it can’t tug on the balls because it has nowhere to go.

This may also make orgasm more difficult as well, so the skin contact serves to arouse more than lead to ejaculation.

atone - September 10, 2010

This.

I have described this on the malechastityforum.com where my penis will just kind of bump up against the cage and then stop, and then do it again, and again. Kind of like a pulsing sensation. I liken it to a caged animal testing its cage. It seems that once it ‘figures out’ what its limits are then everything is fine. It is a very odd experience to have this happen. They say men think with their penis’s but in this case it is totally on its own. There is total disconnect except the feedback sensations.

-A

7. mikecb - September 10, 2010

Regarding the PA, I say just go for it! I have both nipples done. I actually had both done individually.. but both migrated… I had them both done again, and that time it stuck. I found the nipple piercings extremely painful. The PA, by comparison, was nothing. I also had my PA done twice, as the first attempt migrated. There’s a pinch that curls your toes, and then basically no pain at all. I bled a lot.. I mean a LOT… but really never had any discomfort from the piercing after that.

I originally didn’t like the aesthetic of it, but it’s grown on me. I like it a lot now. I LOVE the fact that it’s toughened up to the point that I can use it to help secure my cb3k.

If Ab could handle a nipple piercing, the PA is child’s play. Just do be prepared for it to bleed a lot. Some people get lucky. I was on the other extreme. I had to take the day off work, ’cause it was literally dripping blood for 24 hours. It would be best to do when none of the kids were home for a day or two, just in case. hehe.

mikecb

devotedlvr - September 10, 2010

Thanks for the info on your piercing experience, Mike. This is helpful and one more thing to add to the info column in my brain. LOL.

Tell me, having the PA to secure your CB…does that make it more comfortable? Or just more secure?

D

mikecb - September 10, 2010

Regarding whether the PA makes the device more comfortable. Not really. There is the advantage that the device doesn’t slip down as easily. I can pull out of any device without the PA to secure it. If I get REALLY flaccid, the device can just fall off. With the PA, it holds my penis in the device, which keeps it from slipping down. I suppose that keeps a little pressure of my scrotum.

On the flip side, the ring in the piercing is difficult to keep clean when it’s in the tube. It hasn’t really been a problem for a duration of up to a week, but when I’m not wearing, I clean my jewelry every day, so bothers me that I can’t rotate the jewelry fully to clean it.

mikecb

8. Michael_X - September 10, 2010

Hi,

It takes a fair amount of time to find the correct sizing, get used to wearing a device, go through cycles of adjusting ring sizing and spacers, etc. Most guys into chastity games are highly motivated to solve these problems and to minimize the impact they have on their keyholder. You however are in mostly unchartered waters as the initiatrix of this.

So whereas most guys in the early days are, or should be, working hard to make it fun for their keyholder and doing their best to avoid or handle problems without undue effort on the KH’s part in your situation you don’t necessarily have that going for you in the same way.

Hygiene with a CB6000s is possible but does involve a degree of hassle with cotton wool tipped sticks, squirt bottles or equivalent and whatever methods one uses.

Sore areas happen. I found that using very fine grade emery paper on the ring followed by T-cut (used to restore car paintwork) to make it completely smooth helped. To some extent though the skin toughens up with wear provided one doesn’t push things to the point of the skin breaking or becoming visibly sore.

You probably want to sit down and thrash out what the parameters and rules about removal and such are in greater detail.

Also whilst some fantasies seem to go from no chastity to permanent overnight it is more realistic to start with shorter periods of days or a week, then perhaps two, at first and with time look to longer periods if you wish.

Overall I’d suggest in the early days not being too focused on the mechanics of the device and to keep a careful eye on the fun factor of the game and mutual explicit understanding of the “rules” you decide to play by. When two people have a different understanding as to what they believe the rules are one can get mighty implosions. I’d suggest reading http://cb6kguy.blogspot.com/ except it has disappeared.

Have fun,

Michael

devotedlvr - September 10, 2010

“Iniatrix.” Now there’s a word I like!

Being in those uncharted waters—I agree—which is part of the reason I started this blog. So much that is out there makes it seem very black and white and as I am quickly learning, the chastity game is many, many shades of gray. Then the other issue is sorting out what are real experiences and what are fantasies masquerading as real.

Good advice about keeping an eye on the fun factor and I do agree and am trying to do that. At the same time, I want Ab to have something that is comfortable and he doesn’t need to be overly fussing with because the irritation factor may make him less interested in keeping going with this.

D

9. atone - September 10, 2010

If you take the time to get accurate measurements I think you will be very happy with any of the devices from mature metal.

I was getting ready to buy a CB-6000S when I discovered mature metal. After taking a lot of measurements over a period of several days and observing myself in the 3000 I decided on 1 3/8″ diameter and 2 1/2″ length. I think this is the exact size of the 6000s. I was too short for the 3000 and often would have 1/2″ at the end so I thought 2 1/2″ would be perfect. It was very comfortable but I swear my penis must have shrunk. I would often have 1/2″ at the end of the new jailbird, and available girth as well.

That is why I got one that was even shorter and narrower. Sometimes there is still a gap at the end. I don’t think there is a limit to how much my penis will shrink back when confined 🙂

It does seem to be true that if you size it to capture an erection as soon as it starts the erection is less ‘severe’ and it doesn’t pull at my testicles much at all. Much less so than either of the other larger devices.

I would be happy to discuss this further with you either privately via email (feel free to use the email captured by your blog) or via one of the open forums. I find it difficult to have a dialog using the comments on a blog.

-A

10. atone - September 10, 2010

One last comment, I promise.

The dynamic will be different when your daughter is home but you can still have fun. That is part of what makes this a lifestyle, you have to fit it in to your life, and your life in to it. I guess you don’t have to but you *want* to so just make it happen.

My oldest daughter is also in college but my youngest isn’t even in grade school yet, and there are a couple in between. It is always a challenge getting a little playtime in around here. Specially if we want to use something loud, like the crop (one of my favorites). The youngest two will sleep through anything once they are asleep and the teenager thinks we are really nice renting him movies (usually loud and long) and sending him to the theater in the basement to watch them. He probably wonders why we always ‘just remembered’ we rented something so late at night, don’t want him to finish before we do.

-A

devotedlvr - September 10, 2010

Comment all you want, sweetie-pie.. 🙂

We have two children and two weeks ago became “empty-nesters” when the youngest went off to college. So I know full well the challenges of having grown-up naked playtime with young people in the house—especially since we have a small house (no basement movie theater) and I am very vocal. LOL. The pleasure of the past two weeks has been we could do whatever we wanted, including walk around the house naked, since it was so flipping hot here (no central air). Now we need to go back to confining the fun stuff to the bedroom, at least for two days. But I fully appreciate what you are saying. I think that there is a very fine balance for parents: to help your children understand that sex is a good thing and that you/we have an active and healthy sex life while at the same time, not filling them in on all the details (they can discover that for themselves when they reach the right age! LOL).

D

11. devotedlvr - September 10, 2010

Hi Atone (A),

Thanks for all these comments. This is really useful (and yes, I’ll probably send you an email, too).

I just chatted with Ab, who is out of his CB, AGAIN. I really think the plastic is an issue for him. He was even saying he’d wear the original (huge) Birdcage tonight because it would be more comfortable for right now.

My thought is to just go ahead and order up the Jailbird from Mature Metal, with the following measurements (based on our current discussion, although I was circumspect about why I was asking): 2″ length, inside diam 1 3/8″, 1 3/4″ ring, 1/4″ gap. The Mature Metal guy said the gap is an easy adjustment; the rest seems like it would work based on his current CB and my observations.

I know, I could measure and we could discuss but we tend to be impulsive decision makers in this family (and that’s not a bad thing) and this is an area where I have given him enough latitude to give me feedback….now it is my time to just start making some decisions.

The Iniatrix speaks! LOL

I’ll keep everyone posted…

D

atone - September 10, 2010

One other thing I forgot to mention. I have the anti-pullout on mine and really like it. I got the spike strips on the first one but didn’t feel it was necessary on the second.

The blunt (flat point) pins are really nice for keeping everything in place during the day when working out in the heat. It seems that was when everything would shrivel up the most. I really liked the medium length pin on my first cage during the day but it was too much at night so I compromised and used the short pin. As you know I really don’t want to be taking it off any more than necessary. To change the pin the cage doesn’t have to come off but it does have to be unlocked. I really didn’t want to bother my wife with unlocking me twice a day just to change out a pin. I wish I could change them out without unlocking, for me it is more for comfort than anything else.

If Ab is in to CBT you might try the other style pins (I got short and medium of each of the flat, blunt point, and criss-cross styles). He says the criss cross can leave abrasions and I believe it. The pointed are fun for a little light CBT but were way to painful for me for over night use. I think I could work up to it but it would require my wifes involvement and I don’t think that is going to happen. She humors me in a lot of things but she’s not driving that bus.

finally, I think I would spend the most effort on getting the diameter of the cage right, I think that is what is providing me the most comfort.

I will say that 2″ sounds really short but I have heard of others ordering even shorter cages.

-A


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