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A Crisis…and Another Unexpected Outcome September 1, 2010

Posted by Dev in Musings.
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Late Thursday night, around 11 pm, Ab and I received a phone call. A family member had fallen and injured herself and required hospitalization. This meant that Ab and I would be making a quick out-of-state trip the next morning to deal with the situation. We could have left Thursday night but the ER folks said that probably wasn’t necessary—get a good night’s sleep and wait ‘til Friday to hit the road, they advised.

I knew I was stressed so I took a Xanax to sleep. No lovemaking Thursday night.

Friday morning I faced a bit of a dilemma, especially in light of the revelations of the day before. Ab had made it clear that he totally expected me to be in charge of the Birdcage and when he was confined. That’s fine. I accepted that responsibility on Monday when I took the keys from his hand. So, now we were going to be several hours away from home, dealing with doctors and hospital bureaucracy.

Did I want my sweet husband to face that with his cock in chastity? I thought about that for a minute. Then I realized…yes, I did.

Why? I had to think about that for a minute.

It hit me that having his cock caged is de-stressor for me. Let me see if I can explain. Knowing that he is confined is a delicious, slightly naughty secret. It’s very sexy and very erotic. So in the midst of confusion and chaos, it’s fun to have a sexy secret between us. That helps to ease the stress.

But it is more than that. Our orgasmic pleasure is a mutual bond and right now, it is intricately tied to the device he is wearing. We had four days of fabulous lovemaking and I think in those four days, we fell more in love (if there is a “more” after 32 years!). I didn’t want him to take off his cage because at that moment, it was a very physical representation of what we shared between us. We’d had some emotional changes and growth over the course of the week. I didn’t want to negate that because of a family crisis.

Deep in the back of my mind, I also worried a little bit that if he took it off, he might not put it back on. Yes, he tells me I am in charge but I wasn’t quite at the point of testing that theory.

So, for all those reasons, I wanted him to keep wearing it.

On the other hand, I could totally understand if he asked me to allow him to take it off. While I had some thoughts about sexy secrets and a loving bond, he might feel like he wasn’t ready to face all sorts of red-tape bullshit with eight ounces of metal between his legs. If he said, “I need a break from wearing this to get through this day,” I would have totally understood and whipped out the key in a minute.

As we ran around and got ready to leave on Friday morning, he never brought it up.

But then, what if something happened while we were on the road? Thinking about that, it seemed prudent to take a key with me—but then I made the decision to not say anything about it. I took a private minute to retrieve one of the two keys from the little dish on my bedside table and put it on my key ring with my office keys. Then I put my keys in my purse. Since we were going in Ab’s car, I had no reason to bring my keys—but if something came up or he made a request, I’d be ready.

He never asked, never said anything and as of now, I don’t think he even knows where that particular key is. (The other one, of course, is on my nipple ring, as I talked about here.)

It’s a very interesting feeling to be dealing with doctors, nurses, social workers and a whole lot of other strangers, all the while thinking in the back of your mind, “My husband is wearing a steel chastity device that’s padlocked shut…” What if his shorts fell down? Would people look at him and say, “What the fuck is that?” and go screaming in the other direction? LOL. Or would someone say, “Oh man, you are so lucky. I’ve always want to wear one of those and my wife thought I was a freak for bringing it up.”

Since his shorts didn’t fall down, we’ll never know. 🙂

At the end of the day, I felt like we had passed some sort of a test, or overcome a hurdle. Yes, it is possible to go out in public and not have anyone know. Ab, of course, had been doing that at work all week but this was the first time we had been together and interacting with others, particularly strangers. And really interacting. It’s different than just going to the store.

I also realized that ongoing chastity is very quickly becoming a very important part of our lives. How long this will go on—whether it evolves from a fun, sexy game to be a permanent lifestyle—I have no idea. I do know that right now we are both enjoying it but more importantly, we are finding chastity to have multiple benefits—some of which we didn’t expect at the beginning.

And that’s a good thing.



1. Tom Allen - September 1, 2010

It’s a very interesting feeling to be dealing with doctors, nurses, social workers and a whole lot of other strangers, all the while thinking in the back of your mind, “My husband is wearing a steel chastity device that’s padlocked shut…”

Trust me, this is perfectly normal, especially at first. Even more so, the wearer thinks about that kind of thing for months. You start to examine your pants critically in the mirror. “OMG – is that a bulge? Can they tell?”

One of the reasons that I like the CB3000 and the 6000 is that they really do have a lower profile in normal pants. The organic shape shows up much less than some of the metal devices. I can even wear mine under a bathing suit, although it has to be a large baggy one. If I could find a way to make the locks show up less, I’d even feel comfortable wearing it under tight clothes.

2. devotedlvr - September 1, 2010

The thing is, even is someone did notice a bulge, they wouldn’t know what it was. Any person would probably just think it’s an erection. I think the vast majority of people don’t know that chastity devices even exist, much less that the man they are talking to is wearing one. LOL.


Tom Allen - September 1, 2010

Yeah, well, erections generally point up, not down. Unless they are trapped in a pants leg. But they can create a slightly odd look if for some reason the pants are stretched tight – as when sitting on a low stool, for example. Jeans, too, can sometimes be a problem.

Only once was I slightly embarrassed when, out at a club, one of my wife’s workmates was forced to squeeze by me. Her ass definitely pressed against my groin, and she turned to give me an eye when she made it out into the aisle.

devotedlvr - September 1, 2010

True about the erections, but I still think that people are mostly oblivious—or they don’t care. Heck, I can go out and get my hair cut and colored, and no one says boo. Maybe it’s because my stylist does such a crappy job and they don’t want to insult me/him but the reality is more like that people just don’t notice. LOL

I do like to look at men’s crotches (call me a perv, hahahah) and I have never noticed one where I could tell a man was wearing a chastity device—and I have heard of them. So does that mean I’ve never seen one or I’ve never noticed?


Tom Allen - September 1, 2010

Well, regardless of who’s looking or who actually cares, the main point is that when you’re wearing the device, at least at first, you become hypersensitive about this, and wonder if any stray glance at your crotch means you’ve been busted.

Eventually you stop worrying. Quite often, I forget it’s on until I have to pee, and then find myself standing at the urinal reaching in and … oh, dammit, I need a tissue! Once I was at the doctor’s for a routine exam, and suddenly realized that I was wearing, and began hoping that he didn’t ask me to drop my drawers and cough.

3. devotedlvr - September 1, 2010

I understand hypersensitive…my husband is certainly there. And I am too…and I’m not even wearing the thing! 🙂


4. thumper - September 1, 2010

I used to think a lot about the situations I found myself in while wearing. The same kind of things went through my head. Now, though, it’s so second nature that *not* wearing one would be more distracting to me. And yeah, just like Tom, I forget I’m wearing it all the time only to remember when taking a leak.

Finally, and this may be the hardest thing for your husband to understand at the moment, there really does come a time when you just don’t give a damn what people see in your pants. The truth is just so far from most people’s reality.

5. devotedlvr - September 1, 2010

Thanks for your comment, Thumper. I like that line, “The truth is just so far from most people’s reality.” Yes, that’s very true and thank God for forums and blogs where we can talk about this stuff, because I certainly can’t talk about it with friends and loved ones, other than Ab.


6. aphrael - February 9, 2011

“It’s a very interesting feeling to be dealing with doctors, nurses, social workers and a whole lot of other strangers, all the while thinking in the back of your mind, “My husband is wearing a steel chastity device that’s padlocked shut…”

I recently had this experience with, of all things, jury duty. What made it worse was that it was a child molestation case … there’s something quite bizarre and surreal about hearing some really, incredibly icky testimony about sex crimes while wearing a chastity device.

devotedlvr - February 9, 2011

I can imagine! Jnuts and Belle a slightly similar type experience (not jury duty, but child molestation issues) and he had to take his device off for a few days. It made him feel weird and dirty.

Thanks for your comment.


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